Would you buy this house?

amother

Sat, Nov 10 2012, 10:45 pm

About us: currently own a house that we are very happy with. Have great neighbors, good location, affordable, etc. Problem: DH has not found a shul nearby that he likes. He feels that our family should live near our shul and be actively involved-all of us. He has identified a shul in a different part of town that he likes. He has davened there many times, knows many of the people there, has a relationship with the Rav, and is ready to get up and move. I have no problem going; I want him to be happy and will leave our good situation now if that is what he wants.

So here's the housing situation over there: most of the houses are either in poor condition or too expensive for us. We are not in a rush so we want to make sure that the house we get meets all our needs and is affordable. A house recently became available with the following pros and cons:
Pros: affordable, good condition
Cons: on a major street, requires crossing the street and then walking 10-12 minutes to shul. DH feels like if we're already moving, we should find something closer. In order to get to most of our friends and shul members, we would have to cross the major street, then walk 5-10 minutes. Without crossing the major street, there are about 5 families within 2-5 minute walk, a couple that have kids my kids ages. (they are all young, under 7). None of the immediate neighbors are frum. It would be a far walk to our families for Shabbos/Yom Tov meals.

We are inclined to say no to this. If the point is to move near the shul, and a major street is blocking easy access, why should we do it? And we are not in a rush. But a part of me feels like its a good opportunity bec. it is so affordable and as long as we are willing to "cross the street" we have a strong social network accessible.

Any thoughts?

TranquilityAndPeace

Sat, Nov 10 2012, 11:18 pm

When my kids were 3,5, and 6 we moved around the corner to a block where my kids had 3 families right nearby (within a few houses) with kids who were their friends. The 5 and 6 year old could go to these friends themselves, and I could easily walk my 3 year old there. The other kids came to our house too.

It was not a new neighborhood; we literally moved around the corner from a rental to a house we bought -- but having these friends for my kids RIGHT NEARBY made a massive difference in our quality of life. My kids had automatic playdates all the time. I didn't have to call the mothers and ask "Is it a good time for my DS to play with yours?", but the kids just walked back and forth all day. If I'd still lived around the corner and called, many times the moms would have said, "Not now, I have to leave for carpool in 30 minutes." But because my kids went on their own, they just stayed until the mom asked them to leave half an hour later- so they had that half hour playdate to break up the long afternoons.

In conclusion, when your kids are under 10 or so (too young to cross big streets or walk more than a few houses on their own...), I think it's a TREMENDOUS benefit and quality of life improvement to live in a place where they'll have at least one or two other families very close by.

Hatzlacha with your decision, that's just my 2 cents!

Tova

Sat, Nov 10 2012, 11:43 pm

T&P, I do agree with you and b"H that exactly sums up our current living situation! It's such a mayla that it outweighs a LOT of chesronos (smaller home, etc.). It really feels great to be part of a block/neighborhood and I know that I ALWAYS have my neighbors to fall back on (even more so than my family who live close by but not RIGHT HERE).

OP - much hatzlacha! I'm concerned as others mentioned that you will find yourself in an affordable home but not be all that happier in terms of location. I am not sure if you are members of the shul your husband wants to be a part of, but if you aren't it may be a good idea to become members and start getting involved in shul events. Maybe Shabbos day your husband can also start walking there to daven (a lot of people daven close by Maariv/Mincha but walk a bit Shabbos morning).

ElTam

Sun, Nov 11 2012, 12:05 am

10 mins is a long walk if you live places where it rains/snows/is very cold. Our walk is about that (slower for me because I have the kids). I feel very bad for DH because it's 10 mins each way (20 mins) times 3 on Shabbos (an hour).

Personally, the crossing the big street would be a bigger issue for me. It limits where the kids can go on Shabbos unless you are going to walk them there, then walk back to pick them us.

I would wait until something better comes up.