Would this be a mistake? Re: teacher chanukah gifts

amother

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 4:04 pm

I have 3 kids who are all in the same class (it's mixed grades) and there are 2 main teachers who split up the day between them and an assistant who is there all day. I want to give a nicer Chanukah gift to the assistant than to the main teachers because:
1. She has been teaching 1 or more of my kids for 4 years now, so there is a strong relationship.
2. She is exceptionally sweet to my kids.
3. The other 2 teachers are new to the school this year and I am underwhelmed with their professionalism (one barely says hello to me and the other is absent often) and clueless as to whether they are even doing a good job since I get zero feedback. (No class newsletters as we had in previous years from other teachers at the school; teachers refused to meet with me to discuss kids' progress, etc.).

I think I am justified in wanting to give the assistant a nicer gift. I just don't want to have any backlash if they discuss amongst themselves what they got and the other 2 feel like they were slapped in the face.

What do you think?

And as a side note....
How much do you normally spend per kid per teacher? And also for outside of school therapists/teachers/ instructors if applicable?

imasinger

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 9:29 pm

Teachers generally do not discuss their gifts and compare notes. It's tacky. Especially if your gift is money or the equivalent.

If you feel especially grateful to the assistant, I think it's OK to give her something extra; she has done extra for you and yours. Just be discreet.

Schools often provide some guidelines for parents about how much to give. It varies regionally, so it's worth asking. And remember, thank you notes are lovely, too, if you aren't in a position to give something to everyone.

b from nj

Tue, Nov 27 2012, 9:38 pm

In my son's HS the suggested chanukah teacher gift is $50 that is divided equally among all the teachers so I don't plan to give anything above that & in my daughter's elementary school, the recommended donation total for all the junior high teachers is $36 (& $25 for the younger grades b/c the jr high kids have more teachers). I also don't plan to give anything extra for her teachers.

However, for the end of the year, I gave the teachers $18 gift cards to Target & the assistants $10 gift cards. I usually give her language therapist a $25 mani/pedi gift card or a $25 Target gift card b/c I believe that everyone can use something from Target!

If I were you & the school wasn't organizing any official gifts, I would give the main teachers gift cards worth anywhere between $18-$25 & I would give the same to the assistant who I feel really deserves it!