apparently she wasn't joking

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Apparently she wasn't joking

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amother

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 6:45 pm

A few days ago, when the news first started talking about snow coming to our area, I was chatting with a coworker. I said I was excited because I love snow, and she said she was dreading it and hates snow. Then she said if I love snow so much, I'm welcome to come over and shovel her driveway when I'm done shoveling mine. I laughed and said sure, lol, and went on with my day. Well, she just called a few minutes ago to ask when I'm coming. I thought she was carrying on the joke, but it soon became apparent that she really thinks I'm gonna come do her shoveling. I politely told her it was a joke, and I have to do my own driveway amend dig out my car, and anyway, wasn't this all in jest? Now she's mad that I'm backing out of my "promise". What now?

Rodent

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 6:48 pm

Sorry but she sounds like a nutter. Move on.

Happy18

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 6:57 pm

Not your problem.

cheese cake

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 7:30 pm

You owe her nothing. She should've realized on her own that it was a joke

Eemaof3

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 7:41 pm

Definitely her problem. She should be embarrassed but maybe she cannot read sarcasm. Let it roll off of you.

Mimisinger

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 8:17 pm

This is hilarious. Sad though. You don't owe her anything. Nebach.

sequoia

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 8:28 pm

Some people are missing the irony gene.

jaysmom

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 8:29 pm

Do you think she is mad at you or embarrassed that she made a her self look a little... Stupid?

Gerbera

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 8:38 pm

Rodent wrote:

Sorry but she sounds like a nutter. Move on.

Not sure if you are aware that people with Asperger's have difficulty understanding sarcasm, irony and even slang. I wouldn't be so quick to call someone a nutter.

This woman could genuinely have thought the OP was going to come shovel her driveway.

Not saying this woman DOES have Asperger's but situations like this are quite common and make it really difficult socially for those with Asperger's.

Simple1

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 8:58 pm

Gerbera wrote:

Rodent wrote:

Sorry but she sounds like a nutter. Move on.

I was thinking this before I saw your post. I once over heard a similar conversation in which someone jokingly made an offer and person #2 took it seriously while the first person was caught off guard and tried to back out of it. I felt sorry for both of them.

amother

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 9:13 pm

unbelievable. you cannot just use people.

it is pretty frighteningt that it would even occur to her to suggest to ANYONE ,let alone, an acquaintance to come and clean her drive way. What, she cannot do it herself like any other tom d!ck or harry and What are you, a slave and she can just exploit your man labour?

either she has some kind personality/mental disorder (I highly doubt autism - I know autistic people and they would never do that - they are usually quite correct people) , or, she is a nasty character, but you should keep your distance from her. Always best to keep distance from ppl at work anyway - can be friendly, but not too friendly.

naturalmom5

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 9:35 pm

I'd ask a Rov. It's not so simple. The gam' says a terrible plague should on someone who doesn't keep their word. Think before you say something.

black sheep

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 9:42 pm

naturalmom, are you joking? I can't seem to tell for sure.

I doubt she really thought you meant it. more likely, she wants to try to guilt you into doing something she doesn't want to be stuck with doing herself. what now? respond by telling her it was a joke, then ignore her anger. it isn't really anger, it is manipulation.

amother

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 10:06 pm

OP here. Of course I have no plans to actually shovel her walk, I'm just worried about how to deal with her Monday if she's all upset. I do not think she's trying to manipulate, I think she is the most socially adept and therefore didn't catch the joke- though how someone over the age of 12 could have missed the sarcasm is beyond me...

jaysmom

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 10:09 pm

Like a couple posters mentioned, could be some kind of aspergers.

imasinger

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 10:12 pm

Hopefully, she won't mention it. I mean, all you would have to do (not that you should, of course), is burst out into loud laughter, and then when other people came to see what was funny, tell them the story.

amother

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 11:30 pm

Be careful about who you joke with, and what you say... learn from this... it isn't so simple

causemommysaid

Sat, Feb 09 2013, 11:56 pm

OP- can you come do my driveway too?

amother

Sun, Feb 10 2013, 7:33 am

Thurs night was cleanup day in my dorm-on the way out my madricha joking said whoever wanted to clean up her room was more then welcome to, then she left the dorm. Well, a friend & I decided to take her up on her offer & cleaned out her room, literally. We moved everything that could be moved from her room into the empty room next to hers. Careful what you say.....

marshmellow

Sun, Feb 10 2013, 8:10 am

can't believe people think the op is in the wrong - she answered fine, friendly, a natural reaction in a jokey way, why the other woman took it seriously is her issue. don't worry op. I would have answered exactly like you - what else is a person to do/say? Can't say "no chance!!" can you?!

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