Did anyone go to the Education evening in Beis Rivka?

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ruthanne

Wed, Dec 27 2006, 11:03 pm

I did and I thought it was very interesting, especially Rabbi Berger.

Didn't stay till the end though...

ruthanne

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 9:50 am

29 viewings and no responses!

I take it I was the only Imamothernik to go! Very Happy

Great evening, its a shame that only about 50-60 people showed up Sad

TzenaRena

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 9:52 am

I was planning on going, but had an unexpected visitor. Would you be able to give us some points? Are tapes available?

gryp

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 9:54 am

I wanted to go but I can't get out of the house in the evenings nowadays.

chocolate moose

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 10:03 am

I have friends who went, I'll try to get chazarah.

Bell

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 10:18 am

Rabbi Berger is my uncle amd hes very good at what he does hes also a fantastic speaker so im sure it was an informative evening-- I didnt see it advertised much though

shopaholic

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 10:21 am

When was it? I never got a note. Or maybe I did & knew I couldn't go last night.

ruthanne

Thu, Dec 28 2006, 2:23 pm

I don't think it was advertised too well. No notes were given out in school AFAIK. But it was on Shmais.

chocolate moose

Fri, Dec 29 2006, 12:24 pm

so - chazarah, anyone?

ruthanne

Fri, Dec 29 2006, 12:44 pm

I only heard Rabbi Berger's talk, I got there late!

He said there are 6 points you have to use when bringing up kids:

1) Talk to your child. When they are embarking on a new path, eg. school, yeshiva etc have a shmooze with them. Keep lines of communication open ALL the time.

2) Walk the Talk- set example, dont just preach but be a living example to your children.

3)A parent's responsibility is to show love and the home should be a happy place. You should not to be a mashpia to your child. So the child remembers the good times and the joy in the home.

4) Know when to compromise!

5) Have an IEP- Individual Education Plan for your child. What are YOU doing for your child? (This is not referring to the school's job)

6) Always validate the existence of your child. Show respect and don't be judgemental.

I thought this was the best part of the whole evening.
He was mainly referring to teenagers with issues but I think these points can be used for all children.

chocolate moose

Fri, Dec 29 2006, 12:52 pm

oh.....no easy answwers or quick fixes, huh? they had something similar pretty recently...

ruthanne

Fri, Dec 29 2006, 12:56 pm

There are certianly no quick fixes when it comes to bringing up your children. It takes years of love and hard work!
I didn't stay until the end, but many people were asking questions and getting very good responses from the panel.

gryp

Fri, Dec 29 2006, 1:24 pm

Quote:

You should not to be a mashpia to your child.

I don't get what that means. Or maybe I do and I don't agree.

ruthanne

Fri, Dec 29 2006, 2:07 pm

GR wrote:

Quote:

You should not to be a mashpia to your child.

I don't get what that means. Or maybe I do and I don't agree.

He was talking about troubled teenagers, and basically what he meant is that we as parents should bring up our children in a loving atmosphere where there is joy and happiness in the home so that they will have fond memories of their youth and have a strong loving relationship with their parents. If they have issues, it is far more beneficial to get someone from outside of the home to be a mashpia so these issues will not ruin your parent/child relationship. If you are constantly on their case and fighting with them over yiddishkeit then you will end up alienating them, and probably do more damage than good.
I hope I made it clear.

I do agree with Rabbi Berger b/c I have seen too many casualties in this area.

gryp

Sat, Dec 30 2006, 8:25 pm

oh, he is talking specifically about troubled teenagers, not about kids in general.
I have yet to meet a troubled teenager who turns to his parents for advice anyway.

chocolate moose

Sat, Dec 30 2006, 8:43 pm

Wasn't thje evening billed as "How to Raise a Chassidsiche Bochur?"

ruthanne

Sat, Dec 30 2006, 10:43 pm

GR wrote:

oh, he is talking specifically about troubled teenagers, not about kids in general.
I have yet to meet a troubled teenager who turns to his parents for advice anyway.

Teenagers may not turn to a parent for advice but they are often given unsolicited advice which is not what they really want.

If you are constantly rebuking and showering your teenager with advice when you know it will just be rejected you are just jeopordizing your relationship with them, and then what have you accomplished!
Its far wiser to have a good relationship with your child and get someone else to be 'the baddie' so to speak. They might listen more if it doesn't come from YOU.

greenfire

Sat, Dec 30 2006, 10:53 pm

That's a tricky statement
I just told my son that I'm his mother if I don't tell him who else will care enough to

ruthanne

Sat, Dec 30 2006, 11:34 pm

greenfire wrote:

That's a tricky statement
I just told my son that I'm his mother if I don't tell him who else will care enough to

It depends how old the child is and what kind of relationship you have.

Giving rebuke is like banking. Unless you have made many deposits I.e. positive words of love and praise then you cant make a withdrawal I.e. criticize.

Tefila

Sat, Dec 30 2006, 11:51 pm

I do agree that the role of the parent should shift from raising them differently when thery were kids then as teens but hello one should still be their parent. It should not have to be a buddy buddy situation Confused

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