What am I meant to buy as a wedding present?

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Wed, Mar 27 2013, 8:36 pm

I am a bit clueless about this. She is a close friend. Do I give money (if so, how much?) I am in the UK so if anyone has any idea about what that would be in £ that would be perfect. And if not, what sort of present? Candle holders?

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2013, 8:44 pm

For a close friend I would give around £150.

for a friend who isn't really close I would give around £50 - £100

But I would give what I can to anybody who is poor to help them cover the cost of the wedding; it's a mitzvah

amother

Wed, Mar 27 2013, 11:14 pm

not sure if this helps cause Im coming with an american view.

Im young, in my 20s and live out of town. for me to go to a friends wedding it requires spending $150 just to travel to NY where 95% of the weddings are. On top of that I need to take a 1/2 a day off of work which is prob another $200 loss. On top of that I spend about $50 on a babysitter to pick the kids up from school and stay with them till DH comes home from work.

So usually going to a friends wedding costs me about $400. I dont give a gift in those cases.

If I cant go to a wedding for whatever reason then I usually buy a gift from their registry and spend about $50.

notshanarishona

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 1:17 am

Generally for close friends, I don't give actual presents. I give presents in terms of time and being part of the simcha I.e. making sheva brachos, offering help with the wedding, making phone calls, arranging a shower, etc..

Marion

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 1:34 am

I don't give cash (or a cheque). My own experience was that some of the wedding money accidentally got spent on things like the electric bill rather than on stuff we needed, and somehow I didn't think that's what people who gave us money intended! So I give a small appliance (stick blender, crock pot, panini grill/sandwich press, mini processor, chopper...), or something off the wedding list if there is one.

seeker

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 1:40 am

If the friend has been living with her parents or otherwise not on her own, I'd go with housewares if practical. My favorite gift was a nice-sized, good quality pot - because I think of the friend who gave it to me every time I use it! It is especially handy now that we're a growing family, because I started out with just a little/small of everything, so it's nice to have something that's already big enough for family or company without having to go buy more stuff. This will IY"H be used for years. But that's just my humble opinion...

DrMom

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 1:40 am

Is the couple registered for gifts somewhere? Pick something off their registry. That way they won't get 30 candle holders...

seeker

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 1:48 am

Also candle holders are very much a matter of taste. If there's no wedding registry, don't do it, unless you want to give a gift certificate to a store that sells them with a note suggesting that's what you had in mind but of course they could get what they like/need. A good pot, on the other hand, will never go out of style.

mummy1985

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 3:16 am

Go to John Lewis and get a good pot or a nice set of cutlery

Raisin

Thu, Mar 28 2013, 6:29 am

either get some good quality homewares from a place like John Lewis, and include a gift receipt in case they get duplicates. (or don't like it) I would spend at least £50, more if you can afford.

Not candlesticks, people might want to choose their own. Something like a crockpot, some kitchen machines, eg food processor, some really good pots, towels, linen.

Money is always appreciated, ask around in your circles how much is expected.

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