girl with cancer coming into my dd's pre-k class

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2006, 8:50 pm

A girl who has had cancer since the summer is b'H returning to school this month, and will be in my daughter's pre-k class. I am wondering how to help my daughter handle this...in terms of answering her questions about the girl's baldness, overall health, etc. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...

amother

Sun, Dec 31 2006, 8:55 pm

You will be very surprised to see how easy going kids that age are about these things. they arent like adults that worry about not knowing what to say they just come right out and ask their questions.
my son has a boy in his class who returned to school after treatments with fake peyos, the children in the class are always up with how much his peyos grew back and that he can almost get a haircut already b"h.

queen

Sun, Dec 31 2006, 9:05 pm

To the OP- if I may suggest that you invite this girl over to your house to play with your daughter, as I can only imagine how much that will mean to the mother of the child who wasn't well. I'm sure that mother is very nervous of how her daughter will be accepted back- and how other parents will view her child. Do what ever you can to ease it back for the child and the mother, and inviting over warmly- is a great way to give over that message of warmth and acceptance.

greenfire

Sun, Dec 31 2006, 11:16 pm

most people just want to be treated normal - it's okay to feel bad - but don't over do it.

happyone

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 9:17 am

Like amother #2 said, kids that age are usually very accepting. It's the adults that have a hard time. I had an interesting situation with my child. She wanted to invite a friend for Shabbos. After I told her she could go ahead and call, she casually mentioned, "By the way, this child is in a wheelchair." To her it was just by the way....

I'm sure, or rather hope, the teacher will tell the students before she walk into class not to stare etc..
I would tell my daughter the truth, that this child was on a medication that made her hair fall out but made her feel much better. and explain that it will grow back over time. Kids will accept that as fact and usually be ok with that.

withhumor

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 10:02 am

My niece’s classmate in kindergarten had a mother with cancer, who passed away. For the whole year the class was up with it - how the mother is back home, now back in the hospital etc. and finally when she passed away they were the most supportive. That class was an inspiration to use adults.

timeout

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 4:09 pm

This past summer a friend of the family who works with children who have terrible disabilities asked if I would like to have a playdate at a playground with my 2 children I was a little nervous but decided if I act normal my kids will too.

The toddler who was picked to come with us was nebach missing a hand and was fed thru a tube and is African American.

My kids got into the car and asked the boy who is 4 where is your hand and he answered and my son said ok and for the rest of the day kind of shadowed him and played very nicely, kids are much nicer than adults with these types of things.

BTW my kids are 5 and 2 and a half K'H.

Basya

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 4:27 pm

Quote:

Queen I definitly agree with you. Very nice! Salut

malkie

Mon, Jan 01 2007, 9:21 pm

You can check out Chai Lifeline's website: http://chailifeline.org/ Often, the send a representative to meet with the classmates of an affected child, and sometimes the parents as well.