Is it just me, or is it them?

amother

Thu, Apr 04 2013, 10:04 pm

I'm pregnant and I told my parents a little early then let them know when it was ok for them to tell. At that point, I also called up my siblings and grandparents to tell them. That was the extent of the personal phone calls, as I assumed my parents would take care of the rest of the extended family, which they did. With b'h many aunts and uncles, it would have been a lot of phone calls to make, so each of my parents called their respective siblings. The thing is, my dad has 5 sisters, and they are ALL upset that my dad called instead of me. Is there really an expectation that the bearer of news herself must personally inform each relative? I suspect not, as none of my mom's siblings have complained. But please, can an objective outsider tell me- is it me who's crazy, or them?

imasinger

Thu, Apr 04 2013, 10:38 pm

If it matters to them, you might as well keep the peace in the future and make the calls, even if you and I and the rest of the board think it unnecessary. This will apply again when the baby is born. Would your DH be willing to help?

seeker

Thu, Apr 04 2013, 10:39 pm

I wouldn't use the word "crazy" but you're right that they have, shall we say instead, less than typical expectations. Unless you have a particularly close relationship with these individuals, which it would appear you don't. The grapevine usually takes care of itself.

watergirl

Thu, Apr 04 2013, 11:48 pm

I don't know. In my family aunts also get offended if they don't hear it fro me. And when I choose to tell my mother first, she kinda forced me to tell others before I was ready... its common I think.

RachelB

Fri, Apr 05 2013, 12:16 am

We don't announce to anyone - they find out "through the grapevine". I can't even imagine calling everyone to say that I'm expecting.

DrMom

Fri, Apr 05 2013, 1:09 am

RachelB wrote:

We don't announce to anyone - they find out "through the grapevine". I can't even imagine calling everyone to say that I'm expecting.

This.

OP, I think you acted perfectly reasonably.

B'shaa tovah.

chocolate chips

Sat, Apr 06 2013, 11:19 pm

The only people I called were my parents, grandparents and the 'older' siblings who were away from home.

THe rest of the younger siblings and aunts etc my parents told.

Actually the only parent's sibling I told was my fathers because he is one of two and this relative was by my grandparents when I called them so I told her too.

Just send out an email next time or spread the message when they call to tell you how upset they are that you do not have koach to call everyone because you are too tired as you are sure they understand!

invisiblecircus

Sun, Apr 07 2013, 4:01 am

DH and I only told our parents. Each parent told their siblings at the time we said we were happy for the news to be shared. Noone complained not to hear the news from us.

I think their expectation was unreasonable but like others have said, if it is likely to e a problem in the future, see if you can find a way to tell people yourself. If not, maybe your father can preface the news with "amother is sorry she isn't able to call you herself..."

B'shaa tova!