Why do people #$%@^ curse?

gold21

Mon, May 06 2013, 6:29 pm

Clarissa wrote:

When I was seven I went to an Orthodox sleepaway camp. I had to be tutored to get in, since were weren't Orthodox and I wasn't fluent in Hebrew.

I learned EVERY curse word there, and I learned all about s*x. And I did not learn genteel ways to refer to s*x. My mother was pretty shocked on visiting day.

For real? Oh man. So not what I would expect in an orthodox camp. I didn't know curse words til I was a lot older than 7. Same goes for knowing about s-x.

Lady Godiva

Mon, May 06 2013, 6:34 pm

marina wrote:

Lady Godiva wrote:

marina wrote:

Lady Godiva wrote:

I only curse when I'm thoroughly ^%$#& p!ssed.

You mean thoroughly bowdlerized. Precision is important in language.

I'm still bowlderizing at the fact that I can cheat the system and use the f word here.

What naughty word are you substituting bowdlerizing for in that sentence?

It wasn't meant to stand for any specific word, but as you probably know,^%$#& or ^%$#& can be used in place of any verb. Now I feel like a stupid teenager using naughty words just for the hell of it. LOL

[misspelled bad language removed, please dont use such words on Imamother- Yael]

miami85

Mon, May 06 2013, 6:36 pm

I don't know and it has been really bothering me recently. Children are not learning conversation, they are just learning the same 4 words over and over again. I hear it in the subways and on the street. It's so disgusting. I've made a habit of NOT using such words unless it's in a text that I have to read aloud and it's used properly such as if something is referring to gehinom.

I think the psychology behind why people use it in situations of pain such as stubbing your toe etc. I read a study that indicated when people let out a swear word it was like a natural pain reliever. I think it has the same effect as "lamaze" style breathing when you sharply and forcefully exhale, or think of a person blowing out smoke after a cigarette.

Clarissa

Mon, May 06 2013, 7:21 pm

gold21 wrote:

Clarissa wrote:

For real? Oh man. So not what I would expect in an orthodox camp. I didn't know curse words til I was a lot older than 7. Same goes for knowing about s-x.

Totally. And I was raised in a house where nobody said bad words. That changed years later. But when I was little? Strict Eastern European upbringing. My parents came up and were shocked. Plus, my mom ran into someone she'd known in Eastern Europe, from either before or after concentration camp, so they were having an emotional conversation and there I was, talking like something out of a bad dirty movie.

amother

Mon, May 06 2013, 7:50 pm

I find it interesting that the people I work with curse in casual conversation but when I'm around they always say, "Excuse me..." to me. One time a guy teacher cursed and some of the women were like, "Hey, hey, hey, don't you see Mrs. XXX here? Watch your language!" At least he had the grace to be apologetic.

Some of us do get offended just by hearing curses.

cookiejar

Mon, May 06 2013, 7:54 pm

marina wrote:

Whoever started this thread- thank you for teaching me the word bowdlerize. I plan to use it instead of the regular inappropriate language I occasionally employ.

What the bowdler.

Go bowdlerdize yourself.

And the like.

Thank you.

LOVE

cookiejar

Mon, May 06 2013, 7:56 pm

miami85 wrote:

Gonna try that in labor; Lamaze so does nothing for me. Thank you Smile

sweetpotato

Mon, May 06 2013, 9:14 pm

I do curse sometimes, accidentally. I blame it on my work environment (at a newspaper--more cursing there than at a construction site!), but it's also just a habit like anything else. I was very self-conscious about it when I was dating my husband, because he's much more aidel than me in many ways and I was worried I'd accidentally say a bad word in front of him and offend him! (He does let out a curse word, very occasionally, but only after something like dropping a pot of spaghetti sauce. I was still shocked the first time I heard it though!)

Honestly, cursing does not bother me UNLESS it's aggressively directed at another person or solely for the purpose of shocking or embarrassing someone. Someone letting out an explicative in general frustration or emotion, or for whatever reason, doesn't upset me. I've been a lot more upset by other things I hear people say, sometimes even in shul or at the Shabbat table.

amother

Mon, May 06 2013, 9:36 pm

I never curse. It bothers me so much that my husband started using those words ones he started working. I used to beg him not to used them. Once he stopped working he stopped using those words. Bh

notshanarishona

Mon, May 06 2013, 9:45 pm

Am I the only one who thinks this thread is just slightly inappropriate/ too graphic for a "frum" website? I personally don't like reading curse words even if you put a - in between them or misspell them.

gp2.0

Mon, May 06 2013, 9:47 pm

miami85 wrote:

Actually the pain relief effect is probably psychological. Swearing gives you a rush of adrenaline (or something else) which makes pain or frustration more bearable.

Personally I see nothing wrong with swearing in frustration or pain, while I think swearing AT someone as an insult (or even in friendly banter) is very different, and a horrible way to communicate.

chani8

Mon, May 06 2013, 9:48 pm

I used to never curse, but now, with secular music in the house, and imamother, I actually catch myself getting ready to use a bad word, more often than I like.

Usually I rephrase it. But a couple times, those words did get out. And I was horrified.

It is called nivel peh and it is usser to speak like this. Loshen Hara 101.

When I was charedi, I went to a siyom on Shmirat Haloshen. The speaker kept using the word "Stupid" and I was shocked. Now I use the word stupid, but I think if I were to be honest, I still think even that word is nivel peh.

chani8

Mon, May 06 2013, 9:51 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

I can handle most hints at bad words, but the f word is so not necessary. And yeah, it seems inappropriate on a frum website. It would serve everyone well to try to clean up their language. It is a bad habit.

It is loshen hara (nivel peh) to swear.

saw50st8

Tue, May 07 2013, 4:37 am

A good strong curse puts a different emotional spin on a sentence.

I don't curse that often, but sometimes its warranted. I do use "&^%(&*%" online though.

We try to talk nicely most of the time though. I was very proud when my 5 year old asked me "shut up" meant after hearing it from an older kid.

robynm

Tue, May 07 2013, 6:28 am

I used to curse a lot but over the years realized that I didn't want to be portrayed in a negative way so I cleaned up my language.

At one of my first jobs, my frum boss always used to say "sugar" or "fudge" and it drove me crazy. They just made you think of the real curse words every time.