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Forum
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-> Simcha Section
Raisin
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 Mon, May 20 2013, 9:50 am
| saw50st8 wrote: | I think its really nice. I had bridesmaids and was a bridesmaid many times.
For the most part, we tried to accomodate each other. Even though my wedding color was navy, most of my friends had light blue dresses, so they wore that instead.
I think its much nicer and looks more cohesive. I was in no way a bridezilla :-)
Technically, all fancy dresses are a waste of money. |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
I wore the same gown for several siblings weddings since none of them cared about colour schemes. Never bothered with professional make up and updos either.
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curlgirl
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Mon, May 20 2013, 10:14 am
| Raisin wrote: |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
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Well, according to the logic in this thread, you can "make" your friends feel like they "have to" buy those for you 
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saw50st8
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Mon, May 20 2013, 10:44 am
| Raisin wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | I think its really nice. I had bridesmaids and was a bridesmaid many times.
For the most part, we tried to accomodate each other. Even though my wedding color was navy, most of my friends had light blue dresses, so they wore that instead.
I think its much nicer and looks more cohesive. I was in no way a bridezilla :-)
Technically, all fancy dresses are a waste of money. |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
I wore the same gown for several siblings weddings since none of them cared about colour schemes. Never bothered with professional make up and updos either. |
You have a much larger family than I do. I was able to wear the same dress to 2 family weddings (mother and sister). My SIL picked a color that my mother had worn to my sisters wedding, so I was able to use that.
I don't think its a total necessity, but in the scheme of wedding costs, this wasn't huge. And I didn't have any floral centerpieces (or any centerpieces actually), which would have been WAY more expensive.
Its not a necessity at all, but neither is 90% of the wedding expenses!
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curlgirl
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Mon, May 20 2013, 10:49 am
| saw50st8 wrote: | | Raisin wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | I think its really nice. I had bridesmaids and was a bridesmaid many times.
For the most part, we tried to accomodate each other. Even though my wedding color was navy, most of my friends had light blue dresses, so they wore that instead.
I think its much nicer and looks more cohesive. I was in no way a bridezilla :-)
Technically, all fancy dresses are a waste of money. |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
I wore the same gown for several siblings weddings since none of them cared about colour schemes. Never bothered with professional make up and updos either. |
You have a much larger family than I do. I was able to wear the same dress to 2 family weddings (mother and sister). My SIL picked a color that my mother had worn to my sisters wedding, so I was able to use that.
I don't think its a total necessity, but in the scheme of wedding costs, this wasn't huge. And I didn't have any floral centerpieces (or any centerpieces actually), which would have been WAY more expensive.
Its not a necessity at all, but neither is 90% of the wedding expenses! |
No, but this seems to be an expense imposed on others (friends).
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Raisin
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Mon, May 20 2013, 11:40 am
| saw50st8 wrote: | | Raisin wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | I think its really nice. I had bridesmaids and was a bridesmaid many times.
For the most part, we tried to accomodate each other. Even though my wedding color was navy, most of my friends had light blue dresses, so they wore that instead.
I think its much nicer and looks more cohesive. I was in no way a bridezilla :-)
Technically, all fancy dresses are a waste of money. |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
I wore the same gown for several siblings weddings since none of them cared about colour schemes. Never bothered with professional make up and updos either. |
You have a much larger family than I do. I was able to wear the same dress to 2 family weddings (mother and sister). My SIL picked a color that my mother had worn to my sisters wedding, so I was able to use that.
I don't think its a total necessity, but in the scheme of wedding costs, this wasn't huge. And I didn't have any floral centerpieces (or any centerpieces actually), which would have been WAY more expensive.
Its not a necessity at all, but neither is 90% of the wedding expenses! |
the difference is the bride seems to be demanding that her friends pay for dresses, make up and updos. If the bride wants to pay for it, let her get whatever dresses she wants.
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DrMom
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Mon, May 20 2013, 11:55 am
I'm no expert on this (I got married in Israel where the bridesmaid thing is generally not done), but it seems to be standard practice in America at least for the bridesmaids to buy their own dresses. I wouldn't want to get stuck with a fancy emerald green dress, though...
I never heard of requiring someone to pay for their own makeup. Can't she put on makeup herself for free?
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shabri
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Mon, May 20 2013, 11:57 am
| curlgirl wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | | Raisin wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | I think its really nice. I had bridesmaids and was a bridesmaid many times.
For the most part, we tried to accomodate each other. Even though my wedding color was navy, most of my friends had light blue dresses, so they wore that instead.
I think its much nicer and looks more cohesive. I was in no way a bridezilla :-)
Technically, all fancy dresses are a waste of money. |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
I wore the same gown for several siblings weddings since none of them cared about colour schemes. Never bothered with professional make up and updos either. |
You have a much larger family than I do. I was able to wear the same dress to 2 family weddings (mother and sister). My SIL picked a color that my mother had worn to my sisters wedding, so I was able to use that.
I don't think its a total necessity, but in the scheme of wedding costs, this wasn't huge. And I didn't have any floral centerpieces (or any centerpieces actually), which would have been WAY more expensive.
Its not a necessity at all, but neither is 90% of the wedding expenses! |
No, but this seems to be an expense imposed on others (friends). |
She could decline the "honor". Nobody is forced to accept.
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b from nj
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Mon, May 20 2013, 1:08 pm
| shabri wrote: | | curlgirl wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | | Raisin wrote: | | saw50st8 wrote: | I think its really nice. I had bridesmaids and was a bridesmaid many times.
For the most part, we tried to accomodate each other. Even though my wedding color was navy, most of my friends had light blue dresses, so they wore that instead.
I think its much nicer and looks more cohesive. I was in no way a bridezilla :-)
Technically, all fancy dresses are a waste of money. |
it would be really nice to have a jacuzzi, a mercedes, a designer wardrobe and a full time maid. I can't think why I don't.
I wore the same gown for several siblings weddings since none of them cared about colour schemes. Never bothered with professional make up and updos either. |
You have a much larger family than I do. I was able to wear the same dress to 2 family weddings (mother and sister). My SIL picked a color that my mother had worn to my sisters wedding, so I was able to use that.
I don't think its a total necessity, but in the scheme of wedding costs, this wasn't huge. And I didn't have any floral centerpieces (or any centerpieces actually), which would have been WAY more expensive.
Its not a necessity at all, but neither is 90% of the wedding expenses! |
No, but this seems to be an expense imposed on others (friends). |
She could decline the "honor". Nobody is forced to accept. |
Shabri, that's easier said than done b/c it's like a slap in the face to the kallah to do that & many girls are not looking to insult their friend & hurt her feelings by declining the 'honor' even though I agree that the costs involved are beyond ridiculous but if a girl can REALLY not afford it, she should decline even though it will be embarrassing for her to do so.
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saw50st8
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Mon, May 20 2013, 1:55 pm
I know people who have turned down the honor. But really, if its your really close group of friends, and money is not really tough, why would you?
It works out for most people. Many brides pay for the hair and/or makeup for their friends.
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abound
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Mon, May 20 2013, 2:00 pm
| b from nj wrote: | My DD is going to be a bridesmaid for her friend too. She paid $150 for the peacock colored dress from David's Bridal (the only place where this color can be found apparently) & now she is taking it to a dressmaker to build it up for another $180 + I think $25 for the extra fabric that she had to buy. I think it's chutzpah of kallahs to demand that their friends shell out all this money when they could find a normal colored gown at a gemach even though gemachs are not cheap either.
My DDs last friend to get married chose navy & my DD found a gorgeous dress at a gemach but it cost her $100 (if my memory serves me correctly) & we ended up having a big problem b/c the gown got ruined at the cleaners & it was a HUGE mess but thankfully my cleaners stood behind his work & reimbursed the gemach for the ruined gown.
Bottom line is that being a bridesmaid is a huge pain in the neck & my DD & her friends would rather not spend all of this money but they don't want to risk hurting their friend, the kallah lest she turn into a bridezilla!!
& yes, they also have to have their hair & make-up done as well. Thankfully, my DD works & can pay for all of these ridiculous expenses but it truly IS ridiculous. |
Just curious, if your DD and her friends do not like the Bridesmaid thing will they ask their freinds to do it for their own weddings?
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b from nj
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Mon, May 20 2013, 2:04 pm
| abound wrote: | | b from nj wrote: | My DD is going to be a bridesmaid for her friend too. She paid $150 for the peacock colored dress from David's Bridal (the only place where this color can be found apparently) & now she is taking it to a dressmaker to build it up for another $180 + I think $25 for the extra fabric that she had to buy. I think it's chutzpah of kallahs to demand that their friends shell out all this money when they could find a normal colored gown at a gemach even though gemachs are not cheap either.
My DDs last friend to get married chose navy & my DD found a gorgeous dress at a gemach but it cost her $100 (if my memory serves me correctly) & we ended up having a big problem b/c the gown got ruined at the cleaners & it was a HUGE mess but thankfully my cleaners stood behind his work & reimbursed the gemach for the ruined gown.
Bottom line is that being a bridesmaid is a huge pain in the neck & my DD & her friends would rather not spend all of this money but they don't want to risk hurting their friend, the kallah lest she turn into a bridezilla!!
& yes, they also have to have their hair & make-up done as well. Thankfully, my DD works & can pay for all of these ridiculous expenses but it truly IS ridiculous. |
Just curious, if your DD and her friends do not like the Bridesmaid thing will they ask their freinds to do it for their own weddings? |
NOPE she does not plan to have bridesmaids but she & her other friends decided that they will all wear peacock-colored dresses to each others weddings!!!
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wtr
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Mon, May 20 2013, 10:46 pm
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Sorry about the costs involved, but I have a question thats been bothering me lately. I was always under the impression that a gemach was suppose to be free. Its been years since I've used one, now everyone is talking about the costs involved with a gemach. What has changed?
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b from nj
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Mon, May 20 2013, 10:55 pm
| wtr wrote: | | Sorry about the costs involved, but I have a question thats been bothering me lately. I was always under the impression that a gemach was suppose to be free. Its been years since I've used one, now everyone is talking about the costs involved with a gemach. What has changed? |
The ones with really nice gowns are not at all free but they are much less costly than it would be to buy or have a dress made from scratch. In addition, they usually expect the gown to be returned dry cleaned which as I mentioned above caused big problems for us since the cleaners messed up on the cleaning & it was a big headache until it all got sorted out.
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oliveoil
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Mon, May 20 2013, 10:57 pm
| wtr wrote: | | Sorry about the costs involved, but I have a question thats been bothering me lately. I was always under the impression that a gemach was suppose to be free. Its been years since I've used one, now everyone is talking about the costs involved with a gemach. What has changed? |
Most gemachs have become rentals, more than gemachs. and the few that are really gemach prices (like a small deposit & cleaning cost) have very little selection.
I could write a book about all the crazy "gemachs" out there - and the people running them!
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