Feeling AWKWARD about DS becoming a man, anyone else?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Fri, May 24 2013, 12:19 am

I never liked boys who were in the "in between" boy and man stage even when I was young.

Now my 13 year old DS is in that stage. Getting a mustache, voice changing, acne, hairy arms, legs, etc.

Where is my cuddly and cute sweet boy?

I feel weird that I feel awkward about this stage. Do I still hug and kiss him? Am I the only one who feels this way about a little boy becoming a man?

amother

Fri, May 24 2013, 12:31 am

I do too, but have been afraid to verbalize it out loud.

My son is not yet 13 but he's tall so I feel that way sometimes.

Jughead

Fri, May 24 2013, 12:55 am

I don't feel weird, but I can understand why you do
I get physical contact with my teen sons in less "cuddly" ways now. light smack on the back, light punch in the arm, sling an arm around a shoulder, or the affectionate pinch or glett on the cheek
one of them appreciates hand massages
but they don't want hugs or kisses anymore
unless it's s/t like going away to camp - I do hug them when they leave and when they come back
then again, this is not so different than what I do with my teen daughter
teens respond differently to touch than younger kids
but my bed is less crowded these days!

amother

Fri, May 24 2013, 7:30 am

No, I love it. I can't wait until he is. I'm hoping he'll mature a bit Rolling Eyes

amother

Fri, May 24 2013, 7:37 am

It is sweet. My son looks around before he kisses me. The other day I came to his school and he came running over and told me I look pretty, but first he checked to see if no one could overhear him.

I wonder how much longer he will cuddle. He is twelve.

amother

Fri, May 24 2013, 7:58 am

So my oldest son is 18 (!!!) and I'm always touching him- especially since he's going to Israel for the year at the end of the summer. He's also 9 inches taller than me, but it doesn't stop me from ruffling his hair or giving him a one-armed hug. He's the same sweetie he always was (ok, except for when the UFO came down & turned him into an alien monster for a while) and is a younger version of his father and he's so cute!

It's what happens- boys become men, girls, women; you & your dh didn't sprout into the world fully formed, it's the way G-d meant it o be. It can be shocking to see physical changes, but that's still your child in there, and you'll always be his Mommy Smile

Simple1

Fri, May 24 2013, 8:15 am

The awkward stage for boys and girls is a passing phase. You will adjust and become totally used to it as he "grows into" his body. You can even begin to enjoy interacting with him on a more mature level.

greenfire

Fri, May 24 2013, 9:10 am

believe me - they let you know whether or not you can hug & kiss them ... and sometimes it's a yes even if sometimes it's a no way

girls are like this too - only moodier with no voice change or scruffy face

Clarissa

Fri, May 24 2013, 6:38 pm

I'm finding puberty pretty odd, particularly the body hair and voice change. He still does hug me, although he's pretty independent.

The voice change, though, weirds me out. When he's angry and raises his voice, I call it his "puberty voice."

Culturedpearls

Sat, May 25 2013, 11:22 am

I've been at this stage for over a decade. I ask permission to kiss them cause they don't exactly volunteer. We joke that they need to be unconscious for me to do so!
I find the stage cute though, even when they look like men a little kid is just beneath the surface.

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