"Stinky boy" | Imamother

amother

Wed, Jul 03 2013, 5:09 am

My 6 yo is well liked, for the most part, but has been on the receiving end of teasing at times in the past.
Today, he came back from camp and told me that there's a boy there who is a stinky boy because he farts a lot. I told him that its not nice to call someone stinky boy, because it hurts people's feelings, and everyone farts sometimes. "But he farts ALL the time, so he's a stinky boy!"

I'm not sure how to react to this, how to respond and how to discipline him.

I have two sides here in my mind.

First is that no kids should be picked on and teased, and I don't want my kid teasing and picking on people, especially for things they cant help, like farting. One part of me wants to tell my kid specifically to befriend this kid and be nice to him, especially if everyone else is being mean.

The other thing going through my mind is "No! I don't want him to experience what I experienced growing up!" I was an unpopular kid, not one of the cool crowd, and I did befriend kids with issues because I felt everyone deserved a chance- I remember specifically befriending a kid, despite the fact that she "farted a lot", because I tried to look past the outside.
But kids are mean and kids tease people by association, and if you are nice to the outcasts, you're often treated as an outcast, and I really don't want my kid to go through the miserable experience of being the outcast because he does the unpopular thing of befriending the "nebach".

But then I think- whats more important- good middos or being popular? But being picked on has many many many ramifications, including lower self image, depression, and ch'v kids have committed suicide bec of being bullied in school...

What do I do?

I'm leaning towards telling him that he is not allowed to be nasty to this boy, no calling him names, be empathetic to him, but not actively encourage him to be freinds with him...

So confused!