Am I right for being so angry?

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:02 am

I went away for Shabbos, and there's this woman I know somewhat. I was wearing a babydoll style robe, and she called me over and said she likes my robe. I said thanks, then she asked me how I'm feeling. I was like, huh?, then I got it. She thought I was wearing maternity! I corrected her, but she wouldn't believe me. I told her I don't get to do much exercise lately, and I gained a lot of weight. She said she calls this "happy pounds". Hello!! I just told her that this is plain fat. Even if it would be pregnancy weight, can she mind her own business? I am so so so mad at her... She's not too skinny herself, she should know how upsetting it is to hear comments about your weight...

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:06 am

People. She should mind her own business. I wouldn't give it another thought. Try to find the whole thing funny. It is.

You may have looked fetching in your infant doll outfit, and she may have been jealous.

Feel better.

Last edited by Dolly Welsh on Mon, Jul 29 2013, 8:04 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:12 am

Thanks!

I was just so frustrated trying to correct her and her not believing me... I'm still angry though. If it would be in private is one thing, but out loud in front of a dining room full of people...

busydev

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:16 am

some people are just stupid. or say stupid things.

I had that myself after being married a year and a half. I had someone "argue" with me that they were sure they heard I had a baby. and I said I didnt must have mixed me up with someone else. and she said really are you sure. I could have sworn I heard that you did. Rolling Eyes

nah I was just in denial that I had a baby crying at home Rolling Eyes

some outfits/styles are prone to getting such wonderful comments (empire waist, baby doll etc) and some people are prone to opening their mouth and inserting both feet till the knee. Rolling Eyes

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:19 am

That's really putting your foot into your mouth... I wonder who in their right minds would think someone could have a baby and not know it... I guess it would technically be possible for me to be slow and not know whether I was pregnant though. I don't know, but I don't think I'm slow.

Yocheved84

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:22 am

This person sounds so clueless and crass. You are 100% right to feel angry. But moreover, BRAVA TO YOU FOR NOT TAKING THIS WOMAN'S WORDS TO HEART. The strength with which you wrote your post, OP, showed a great amount of self-awareness and body-confidence.

If it were me, I would have started crying. You, on the other hand, recognized the idiocy of her statement and were able to differentiate yourself from her words.

Rock your babydoll robe, rock maternity, rock whatever you want....because you rock.

xx,
yocheved

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:27 am

Hey, thanks for your compliment, but I must have taken it to heart in one way or another or else I wouldn't still be upset now on Monday... Thanks though, compliments always feel good!

notshanarishona

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:35 am

amother wrote:

A lot of people make comments/ hints to find out if a person is pregnant. I find it rude and just ignore it or make a non committal response I.e. someone asks how r u feeling just say good, b"h how about u.. I wouldn't bother getting into a discussion about yes/no being pregnant as it gets to sticky situations.
U r right to be annoyed but I don't think it's the worst thing in the world. I have heard much ruder comments.

chocolate chips

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 11:39 am

I hate it when people make comments with a wink or a smirk like "I know something that you don't know" to try and get you to admit.

I had someone tell me 'so you were pregnant when I was there' I was like ummm no. She went on and on yes you were I know you were talking about xyz you must have been pregnant and I said I actually went to mikvah the night after you came so I got pregnant that night or 3 nights later and didn't find out I was pregnant for another 4 weeks so...no.

That shut her up pretty quickly.

I am sure you looked great in your dress and she is either jealous or dying for some gossip to share, that she is the first one to know!

Dolly Welsh

Mon, Jul 29 2013, 7:39 pm

One quibble: after stating a fact, that you are not pg, you went on to explain, unnecessarily, that "you haven't been getting much exercise lately, and have put on weight".

This gave her permission to critique your physique further.

You do not have to explain anything.

You are either pg or not, and the rest is mystery.