Kosher | Imamother

MountainRose

Sun, Aug 18 2013, 5:48 pm

Breathing deeply, I sink below the water. My hair swirls around me but I focus on my hands, waist, knees and armpits. The water engulfs me and I am weightless for a moment and eternity. I flow into a Tai Chi stance – as open as I can be in that little pool until my toes hit the floor. Reality returns and I rise to the surface.

“Kosher.”

A towel settles on my head as I prove the fallacy of the term Judeo-Christian. I pray in that pool, naked but for the bit of fabric resting over my hair. My mind blanks, but my tongue remembers, and I must remind myself that this is a holy experience. My children, husband, weight and years melt off as I sink again. In the water I am a child again, playing in the neighborhood pool. I cannot help myself and twitch my head a bit just to feel my hair swirl like Ariel’s. My toes hit the floor and I rise.

“Kosher.”

She hesitated, I’m sure of it. Maybe one of my fingers was only just beneath the surface. Maybe I didn’t lift my arms enough. Like an Olympic contender I dunk again, determined to perfect my form. Focused on extending in the five foot pool, all thoughts of heaven and husband vanish. I have something to prove to this woman, who has already been through this ten times tonight. Perfect! She won’t hesitate this time. My head surfaces and that childhood summer smell of chlorine burns my nose and eyes, but now it’s the smell of fresh sheets and romance. I’m not sure how or why, but this always changes me. As I sank I was clean and ready but disconnected. But as I rise, I know what I am:

“Kosher.”