brother in law wants to send the kids to a non Jewish school

amother

Wed, Sep 11 2013, 6:24 pm

my sister has two girls 7 and 10

currently they are in an orthodox Jewish school (in the UK). Their father wants to send the oldest to a non Jewish school for secondary, because he's very pro education (he is a good father btw), and although he is religious (well not ultra religious but religious), he thinks that she will receive a much better education there. She's bright, and he wants her to apply to a few of the top all girls schools, where there are many Jewish girls, but the school will not be Jewish. My sister would prefer they go to a Jewish school, because she cares more about kodesh. He says that they will still have Hebrew lessons and everything outside of school, and receive on top of that a good education.
What do you think about this? I personally did not go to a Jewish school, and I wish I had done, because I would have liked more Jewish friends, and a warmer, more caring atmosphere (I'm guessing that exists more in a Jewish school?!)
On the other hand, from people I know, besides kodesh the education at Jewish schools is very poor.
So my sister is kind of upset about it but how important do you think it is? Or I guess I should say, would it really be that bad if they didn't go to a Jewish school?

mummiedearest

Wed, Sep 11 2013, 6:27 pm

I don't think our opinions have anything to do with what your bil and sis will decide. let them decide what's right for their child. I don't think this is the end of the world at all. and if they're not happy, they can switch back. I'm all for it, actually.

marshmellow

Wed, Sep 11 2013, 6:28 pm

Well, I think they should ask HER!
if I was the girl, I would want to decide myself where I go to school, or at least have a say in it. I think the parents should ask her, where do you think you will be happiest?
Because I would want my child to be first and foremost, a happy child.

amother

Wed, Sep 11 2013, 6:36 pm

definitely ask her but I think there isn't much concern about the non Jewish school.
To be honest, NO school is perfect (even Jewish ones). There's bullying and stuff everywhere.
And since it's an all girls school, there isn't even any reason to worry about boy stuff.
Sure she can continue Jewish education outside of school, and send her to Jewish youth groups, Bnei Akiva, she can still go to shul, observe Shabbat and all the rest, she can take packed lunch if they don't provide kosher. I'm sure if there are other Jewish girls there they will also have some sort of Jewish assembly provided - they did at my non Jewish school. I think she'll perhaps come out with a better awareness of the world and be a more tolerant and non judgemental person. And bonus have a fab education in the school. Don't worry she'll still make loads of Jewish friends outside school, and can take classes, socialise, with Jewish people - and of course if she goes to university, she'll meet loads of Jewish friends there too. No worries.
The most important thing is that the parents set the foundation of Jewish in the home in a loving, dedicated way - regardless of the school.