Night-time Dilemma !!!

amother

Sat, Dec 14 2013, 4:12 pm

I would love your advice ladies!

My three kids sleep in one room. 2 yo DD is difficult at night and usually cries at least once a night, either crying hysterically or just wanting a bottle of water. Older DD (10yo) is a light sleeper and often wakes from the toddler. She has a hard time falling asleep so is extremely frustrated at being woken up and kicks up a massive fuss whenever that happens. Sometimes more than once a night! I totally understand older DD (and am actually concerned that she is getting too little sleep) however I'm really at my wits end as there is no where else for toddler to sleep. It's coming to the point where older DD is so annoyed at being awoken that she jumps out of bed and angrily marches into our room, at the sound of the slightest stir from the toddler bed.
You know how you don't wake up immediately to the sound of someone else's kid crying, only yours? It's as though older DD has become super attuned to the toddler's crying and wakes up as soon as the toddler does. She's also become very jealous of DS (5yo) that he is able to sleep through the toddler crying and has attempted to wake him in the middle of the night.

WWYD???? This has been going on for a while now and has only gotten worse. I realise that our toddler will eventually grow out of this but we're all suffering in the interim and it is highly frustrating!

Dolly1

Sat, Dec 14 2013, 6:02 pm

sounds like a tough situation! I would take the toddler back into our room. I know its hard and frustrating, but its gonna be easier to eventually deal with getting her to sleep in another room, than to deal with a screaming toddler and hysterical year old in the middle of the night. That's just my humble opinion! In any case, I´m wishing you luck in whatever your decision might be! Smile

Lovelymom1

Sat, Dec 14 2013, 10:11 pm

Maybe try a noise machine next to your older dd's bed so she won't wake up from the crying. You can also try putting a bottle next to younger dd's bed and train her that when she wakes up she should take it herself.
Hatzlacha

amother

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 2:02 pm

OP here.

Though there's no magic solution it's lovely to feel understood, so thanks! Smile

I've been contemplating putting the toddler in our room and have actually done it occasionally when she wouldn't calm down right away. I'm very careful never to leave her to cry so as not to disturb the others, it's the one minute until I make it to her room that bothers older DD. There's no place in our room for the cot (only a crib, but at 2.4 yrs, she's too big for that!) so I bring in the mattress. I just don't see how it can work long term though, and I can't see her sleeping through the night any time soon. Having her in our room from bedtime at 7pm means that she will most likely awaken when me and DH prepare for bed, and won't easily go back to bed. Also, during the nights that she has slept in our room I hardly got any sleep as she was very restless on the mattress...

I tried a noise machine at one point but toddler didn't like it and constantly asked me to put it off.

I feel pretty much stuck on this one! Exploding anger

Any further ideas GREATLY appreciated!

smss

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 2:06 pm

amother wrote:

Also, during the nights that she has slept in our room I hardly got any sleep as she was very restless on the mattress...

so, you can imagine how your dd feels...

I know some people with 2 bedroom apts who put a kid in the kitchen or living room. also not ideal, but might work...

amother

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 2:12 pm

smss wrote:

amother wrote:

Also, during the nights that she has slept in our room I hardly got any sleep as she was very restless on the mattress...

so, you can imagine how your dd feels...

I know some people with 2 bedroom apts who put a kid in the kitchen or living room. also not ideal, but might work...

OP here.

Of course I know how DD feels, but toddler sleeps WAY better when she's in her own bed. In her cot she will actually sleep and then wake up once or twice for a bottle. On the mattress she tosses and turns all night and talks to me as I'm nearby!

I'd have no problem putting someone in the dining room but since we're on two floors I don't feel safe leaving anyone on their own downstairs.

freidasima

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 2:32 pm

Time for oldest dd to get her own room. You have two stories? And only one children's bedroom?? something doesn't make sense to me. If you have a dining room and a living room make the living room into the living/dining room and make the dining room into a bedroom for oldest dd and at ten let her sleep downstairs alone.

Success10

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 2:42 pm

Agree with FreidaSima, 10 is definitely old enough to have her own room, if she's open to it. It might make her feel really grown up and independent. Only if it's feasible for you of course, but at 10, she can't much longer be in the same room as her little brother anyway.

Frumdoc

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 3:10 pm

How about sectioning off the end of a room, say the living room, for a tiny bedroom/den for the ten yo?

Ten is big enough to be alone downstairs, and she is going to need some privacy soon. Even a tiny room is sufficient when a kid has been sharing for so long.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Dec 16 2013, 2:13 am

amother wrote:

I'd have no problem putting someone in the dining room but since we're on two floors I don't feel safe leaving anyone on their own downstairs.

I'm confused by this. What is so dangerous downstairs that a 10yo can't handle? Are people allowed to be on different floors during the day, or is this just a night thing?

RachelEve14

Mon, Dec 16 2013, 4:24 am

Maybe I missed the obvious, but is there a reason why your 10 year old can't just sleep in the 5 year old's room in the meantime?

I agree if there is no other choice you are going to have to take the 2 year old in with you. It's not fair on your daughter.

oliveoil

Mon, Dec 16 2013, 7:36 am

RachelEve14 wrote:

Maybe I missed the obvious, but is there a reason why your 10 year old can't just sleep in the 5 year old's room in the meantime?

She said all three kids sleep in the same room - the 10 yr old, the 5 yr old, the 2 yr old.

amother

Wed, Dec 18 2013, 8:16 am

OP here.

Bringing the toddler into our room wouldn't work as toddler DD is extremely restless when not in her own bed.

We decided to put older DD to sleep in the hallway until we come up with a more permanent solution and it's been working a charm. She was so excited with the idea, and though she's sleeping on the other side of the wall where the toddler is sleeping she hasn't woken from the crying even once! And it's been three nights already. I think that just knowing she's no longer in the room has lowered her frustration level so much that it no longer bothers her.

Now that the frustration is out of the way, I'd like to get toddler DD to STOP waking in the night so that older DD can get back into her room.

How can I stop her waking for a bottle? Ideas appreciated!