What to wear to niece's wedding & sheva brachos

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 11:47 am

My niece is getting married in March, IYH. Since I never go to simchas (dc has high anxiety and can not be left with a babysitter) I have absolutely no idea what is in style or what an aunt wears to a niece's wedding. Gown? Cocktail length? Dressy Shabbos? Etc. Also, I really have noooo idea where to begin looking. Wedding will be in Boro Park with probably a typical Boro Park dressed crowd.

Also, I would need a Shabbos outfit for Sheva Brachos.

I am currently prob a size 14 which makes this whole shopping experience much more difficult for me (no offense to anyone else, it's just hard for me)

I would sooo much appreciate some guidance as to what type of outfit to wear and where to begin looking (I live in Brooklyn).

TIA

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 12:35 pm

Not sure of the crowd and our relationship with niece and/or sister/sister in law which probably makes a difference.
I hv a nephews wedding in march too. (Not same wedding cuz not in bp) and unless I lose weight and but myself something new, I will wear a classy black st John knit sweater. Nice shoes, nice wig and nice face is what counts.
To another niece's wedding where I felt a lot closer I actually wore what I did for my own brothers wedding. https://m.lordandtaylor.com/lnt/html/#!lang/en/productdetails/2577783
I dressed it up with a nice belt and it looked very flattering. (I'm also at least a 14)
But again. It very much depends on the crowd. Mazel tov!

Sanguine

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 12:46 pm

Why anonymous? Cause you're size 14? Probably half the women here are (and those are the skinny ones). This is just funny. If you use your screen name how many women really know you IRL? I guess if you write nasty things in general with your screen name, next time you do, someone will say "Oh Yeah!!! Well you're a size 14!!"

I just think it's funny to be anon when if you tell your name it's only a screen name. (BTW - I'm a size 12 - size 9 shoe - using my screen name)

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 12:48 pm

Thanks so much amother and mazal tov on the upcoming wedding. Because of my size I am so intimidated by belts. I feel like it gives me a total "shelf" in the back. How do you pull it off?
Also, what do you do with your wig for a close wedding?

busydev

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 12:51 pm

Sanguine wrote:

im not op.

to some ppl here I am not a screen name. they know me IRL. maybe I dont want them to know what size I am??

to OP- it really depends on many factors, how much older you are, what kind of relationship you have, what you find....
to my wedding I had aunts in nice shabbos clothing and aunts in floor length. it depended. all fit in fine.

Sanguine

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 1:02 pm

busydev wrote:

to some ppl here I am not a screen name. they know me IRL. maybe I dont want them to know what size I am??

If they know you IRL they know what size you are. Or they know if you look nice or not, the number doesn't really matter (I'm a 12 but look like an 8 Very Happy

)

chocolate chips

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 1:05 pm

Depends on your relationship with the family.
I had aunts in long and aunts in short.

I would probably go with long or cocktail length.
For wig just do a nice wash and set with some curls or pulled back a bit. No fancy up-dos or anything.
Shabbos you can just go with one of your nicer shabbos outfits something that you would wear to a friends wedding...or to the aufruf.

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 1:18 pm

Sanguine, although I feel your post was completely inappropriate and unjustified and so unnecessary, I'll respond. I posted anonymous because I truly feel uncomfortable with how I am soooo out of the loop. I didn't necessarily mention everything in my original post, but my post was an emotionally heavy loaded question --for me-- without having to give you all the details. No it was not just about my size which I made a point of saying that "to me" this was an issue and no offense to anyone else. But thanks for your kindness in responding. In the future, if you don't have anything nice or helpful to say, especially since you're not responding the actual question, perhaps you should keep your comments to yourself.

In response to the kind posters, thank you for caring enough to help. I am in my mid-30s, niece is 18. Sister and I have had a rough relationship, but this is my oldest niece and we've always felt close. Although we might not necessarily spend that much time together, when we do and when we speak, the closeness is really there and she knows she can always count on me to be there for her.

Even for Sheva Brachos, I actually do not currently have a Shabbos outfit that fits me and since I really never get to go out, I honestly don't know what people are wearing on Shabbos.

Any suggestions of where I can shop for wedding and Shabbos outfit?

Thanks

Sanguine

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 1:29 pm

amother wrote:

Sorry - Wear black. Everyone looks thinner in black. Luckily it's always in style
Mazal Tov

QUEENY

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 1:50 pm

I always wore a gown to niece's and nephew's weddings. I'm glad my sister-in-laws were on board because it is much easier to find a gown than a really nice outfit for a wedding. I go to Macy's or Lord and Taylor and buy a gown and shell and I can easily find one on sale. If I buy a nice outfit that has to cover my knees I have to go to the frum stores because knee length is hard to find in the Dept. Stores and I am kind of tall. You can buy the most simplest gown in black and it would be very elegant.
Good Luck!

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 2:23 pm

I'm the second amother.
Gowns could be nice but don't urself and only look for such. A short dress us very chic and in style too.
As far as my wig, I just had it styled nice and fresh. I don't do up dos not curls but u could if u feel like it. Curls rather than up do, I think, but I'm not the expert.
Oh u asked about a belt, I did a sash actually so that looks better than a tight fitting belt. And wear the right underwear :-) I hv a lot of bulges irl but it doesn't show when I'm dressed up. I almost always wear one of those girdles that pull up till ur chest and another regular girdle on top (or actually beneath) that. I still appear round and not skinny but don't hv bulges which are very ugly. I've seen a few women recently, all dressed up, with tiers, literally. So disgusting, but that's for another thread :-).
For Shab, get urself a nice blank sweater maybe? Black always does the most justice to not so thin women.

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 3:50 pm

I got married May 2012 - hope this info is recent enough:
My mother's sisters and sisters-in-law wore gowns, because one of my aunts had just gotten married, so they all had gowns from that wedding. Except my aunt who was the kallah, she wore a long dress - almost like a gown - from her fort.
My father's sisters and sisters-in-law wore fancy shabbos clothing.

amother

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 3:54 pm

It really depends on the crowd and on your figure more so than your size.

My sil are more chasidish and even the mother of bride/groom didn't wear a full gown, but rather close to ankle length so based on that kind of crowd I've worn a plain straight black skirt with a 'sequined' black jacket from Macy's. Or a plain, straight black dress with an elegant lace/sequined bolero to another wedding. That's something you can wear to sheva brochos as well with a simpler bolero. Same goes for any simple black piece that you can get an elegant accessory for the wedding and something simpler for sheva brochos.

I'm also in my low 30's and a size 14 or so. I can't wear belts cuz I'd be accentuating my already nice sized behind, but straights look great on me. My sister on the other hand is the same size but a completely different shape... You'll have to try on a thing or two to get a feel for what looks right on you in this size.

Mazel Tov on your simcha!

5*Mom

Wed, Jan 01 2014, 4:48 pm

My sisters and I wear nice Shabbos outfits to our nieces'/nephews' Brooklyn/Lakewood weddings. I think a gown for an aunt is a bit much.

ETA: Most importantly, wear what you love and look good in, whether that's black or color. If you like color, if you look good in color, please wear color.

Heyaaa

Sun, Jan 05 2014, 9:05 am

If I were size 14 going to a neices wedding I would do something like this peplum dress

except, being that the skirt is too short and I would have to change it anyway, I would change the skirt to be something like this turquoise skirt

and wear something like this turquoise cardigan instead of a shell

I would not wear those specifically (the money being a setback), but I would wear something like that. It's very dressy but doesn't look like you're trying to steal the show. Since the peplum is longer in the back, it makes you look slimmer.

I personally only think belts look good with oversize tops. I don't think they look as good when people try to use them to suction in their waist. But that's my opinion and I know many will disagree.

About the shaitel, I would just get it washed and set fresh. It is likely what I will do even for my sister's wedding. As long as the set is fresh, you can look gorgeous. I think updos are too much, sometimes even for a sibling. I don't notice what anyone else does, so I can't tell you what is standard, but it is what I would do:)

watermelon

Sun, Jan 05 2014, 9:56 am

My niece is getting married in march too, in Israel.
I have a gown I wore to my brothers wedding, then shortened into tunic length and wore with a skirt underneath to my brothers bar mitzvah. Thinking to wear that to her wedding. Unless my s-I-l's are wearing floor length gowns, then I might do that too. Not sure what's normal in Israel...
8 years ago at my wedding, some aunts wore gowns, some wore shabbos outfits...whatever they felt more comfortable with.

black and white

Sun, Jan 05 2014, 9:07 pm

I just wanted to add Op, that equally as important to finding the right outfit is having great undergarments such as a great pair of spanx and a good bra. It literally transforms your figure no matter what size you are.
Those could be found in malls or a lingerie store.
Mazal tov and enjoy yourself!!