My son broke another boys' glasses

Chayalle

Tue, May 20 2014, 7:56 am

chani8 wrote:

I dont agree about paying for the glasses. Who knows what really happened here? So he punched back a child who wears glasses. Who instigated? Unless you witnessed the incident, stop about the glasses.

Find out why the fighting, though. Why is your son fighting? Go observe cheder and maybe you'll understand.

edited out the LH.

I still remember the day an irate mother called my mother to tell her she had better pay for new glasses for her son, as my brother broke them. My mother calmly said she will find out what happened and be in touch.

So after speaking to my brother and the daycamp counselors, all confirmed that the boy started up with my brother. He was punching, and my brother put his hands out to defend himself. Hands bumped into the other boy's glasses, which fell to the floor and broke.

Well, my parents did not offer to pay.

Now, OP your son sounds alot like my DD - same age, similar type. My DD is impulsive and if someone hurts her, her hands react faster than her brain.

You need to reinforce, over and over, that the proper reaction if someone hurts him is to tell Morah (or Rebbe, in your case.) We role play it, we act it out with lego people, we say it over and over. I pretend to come near her and touch her briefcase (someone in school was irritating her by touching her stuff) and she runs to tell my older DD (who is playing Morah) rather than respond with her fists. I grab her crayon, etc...and she tells and does not hit or pinch.

B"H we are making progress - it happens less often now. When we've mastered this, we'll work on the next step - self-control without needing to run to Morah for every little thing. But one step at a time is the name of the game for now.

SRS

Tue, May 20 2014, 8:51 am

I had a feeling that the Rebbe might be the only teacher. I'm not sure I can offer much advice given that fact because dealing with Rebbes is a different ball game especially at a young age with most kids, boys and girls, have nearly exclusive female staff.

That said, usually when there is a real behavior issue, there are issues at school and issues at home and in other environments and overlap between the issues to help you connect the dots as to if there is an issue and what that issue might be and how it can be addressed. If the Rebbe only informed you now about an ongoing issue, you are working against time. You, preferably, or at least the supervisor of the Rebbe (assuming there is supervision) should go in for some regular observations and try to see what is happening in the classroom, how the kids interact with each other, what the environment is like, how the Rebbe interacts with the children.

The statement that if he continues like this he won't have friends is a very passive statement. The Rebbe has a job to set the environment in the classroom which includes making sure that these 6 year olds are having a positive social experience. If he is prone to hitting and the hitting isn't happening outside of the classroom, something is going on at school.

mfb

Tue, May 20 2014, 8:59 am

amother wrote:

OP Here. He does not behave this way at home. His rebbe thinks that the hitting is a sign of immaturity. The school he attends only has a rebbe. No teacher till next year when he goes to first grade and has english. Also, this is the first time all year that the rebbe is mentioning this to me.

Or it can be a sign of the other boy bullying your son!! And I've seen times that the rebbe or teacher only sees the second half of the fight but doesn't hear how the other boy kept teasing with words even when asked by victim to stop and eventually victim strikes bakc with hands and suddenly everyone is there yelling at the victim!!
Please find out the full story!!