Interesting things happening here

amother

Wed, Jan 07 2015, 11:54 pm

I've just noticed something about my life and it's not something I care to share with people who know me, but I felt like it might be nice to share anonymously.

I went off BC about a month ago with very mixed feelings. For me, the mixed feelings were mainly that having children is difficult and stressful for me in many ways (hard pregnancies, managing them doesn't come easily to me at all, shalom bayis is up and down a lot) but yet I want them very very much, plus I dislike side effects of birth control about as much as pregnancy so that balances out the hard pregnancy part of the hesitation. DH had pretty similar mixed feelings, wants more children, loves our kids to pieces, but very worried about handling it - the difference is that a lot of his stress was about finances (in addition to the rest, but he seemed to be stressing more about the money whereas that wasn't a huge issue to me - I always felt that money comes and goes...)

A little more background: money has always been tight around here. DH started out in kollel and transitioning to work when it got too hard turned out to be much easier said than done. I B"H have a decent job that still never seems to be quite enough but I made efforts in other areas and saw very little success.

BUT lately things seem to be turning around - I'm hesitant to even say anything because nothing is final yet, but a lot of hope is popping up. To the point where I've been saying "when it rains it pours." And I can't help but feel like maybe this is G-d's nod of approval to our very conflicted decision. You could explain any of them individually as very much a non-miraculous, rational event, but the timing of everything coming together now just speaks to me.

- I got an additional couple of hours per week of work at my current job. These were hours that I had available anyway as it was between my other tasks but hadn't had anyone at the time.
- I had gone for a certain professional qualification a while ago thinking that it would generate business for me but it never did, I'd just about given up on it. Over the past few weeks I have had not just one but several people express interest in that specific qualification.
- I had emailed someone in an organization about something tangential, they answered the email now 2 months after I sent it with a by-the-way I see you're in x line of business, would you be interested in [job that I am actually highly interested in but never thought of asking for]. THEN after I said sure, thinking I would do it either voluntarily to gain experience or for a nominal fee, they offered me a respectable amount. This is something that could lead to ongoing opportunities, not a one-time thing.
- I applied for a job almost a year ago and was not a good fit, I'd asked them to keep me in mind in case of a more suitable opening but basically did not count on being contacted again. Out of the blue the person called me back to say they are now looking for something else that might be a better fit for me. More of an interview invitation than a job offer, but still. This is a break I'd been looking for. If it works out it would pretty tidily make up for a maternity leave should the need arise b"eH.

Still nervous about the other aspects but I'm feeling a lot better now.

justforfun87

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 12:03 am

I get the feeling as if things sometimes feel "too right." No need to tell anyone, it is great you can share it here. Enjoy and appreciate the good that is coming. Don't forget to thank G-d a lot!

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 1:11 am

And remember that the same way you feel hashem sending you these new developments, He is also the one sending you what you have already! (Easy to say, I know)

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 1:23 am

LOL I should have known that posting on imamother opens me up to scrutiny. Of course what you're saying is true. My point was just to share the warm fuzzies. Also to bolster what I was telling DH, that financial concerns (barring exceptional circumstances, which we aren't) are not enough of a reason to not have a baby, because Hashem is the One who is providing. I know it doesn't really mean anything concrete but I do think it's an interesting relationship that just about exactly when I went off BC is when new financial opportunities opened up. Of course there's still quite a way to go before anything becomes of them, but the hope is there and in my opinion that does count for a lot. Because it's really all psychological anyway. If it doesn't materialize that's a bridge we'll cross when we come to it, but for now I am happy with the opportunity and anticipation. I still have concerns about the difficult pregnancy and my ability to manage (especially with more work - though it's work that I think I will like) but having this apparent vote of confidence in one area makes me feel a little more at ease about everything working out.

Dolly Welsh

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 1:27 am

Nice to hear.

Hashem loves you.

He sent you ovulation. Ovulating can perk people up. Sometimes. YMMV.

Thanks for the good thoughts! It is appreciated!

Learning

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 1:32 am

Good luck!!! Sunday Very promising.

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 1:54 am

I didn't mean to dampen the mood. It's always nice when we see things working out for us! I just wanted to point out that we always have so much going for us!!! We just don't always pay attention.

Good luck with everything. I hope it all works out.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 10:27 am

Hope you continue seeing Hashem giving you hugs along the way....I had a different scenario but similar outcomes....after making the right decision but with still niggling concerns, I also found the path was full of green lights, as if Hashem was showing me it was the right thing to go down that road. It doesn't mean life is all sunshine and roses, but it does mean that I have the menuchas hanefesh that it is the right thing for me, no matter what we encounter along the way.

amother

Thu, Jan 08 2015, 10:35 am

op- I'm sooo happy for you, hopefully you'll continue to see Hashem's hand! my husband got a raise the day before I gave birth Smile