consistently inconsistent

shira

Wed, May 02 2007, 9:25 am

I have a tragic flaw and I was wondering if anyone could relate and/or has tips that could help me.
I am consistently inconsistent. It permeates every aspect of my life!
Any project I take on- be it spiritual, physical, etc. I start with a gusto and slowly the whole thing looses momentum, fizzles.........and dies.

Its so bad that I cant even give my baby his vitamins consistently!
I have no routine and wouldn't even know how to implement one in my life.

In the spiritual realm as well, there are so many things that I try to do to imporve myself and my avodas hashem- and then I turn around 2 weeks later and wonder what on earth happened..........

Many suggest that baby steps is the key. Taking on very small things at a time. My problem is that I can't even maintain the baby steps!

I'm disheartened, need chizuk, direction, eitzah, etc...........

amother

Wed, May 02 2007, 10:28 am

yep thats me too
the only way I can remember or be motivated to do things is to tell myself that I wont eat lunch or take a nap or read a book etc. until I do this.
I'm terible about excersizing. and the only reason I remember my vitamins is b/c I am scared into getting really really weak without them. (I'm very anemic)
what can I tell you?
dont bother trying to get into a schedule b/c you wont stick to it. try having a weekly agenda of things that must be done that week. and you do them whenever you want.

mumoo

Wed, May 02 2007, 10:39 am

This phenomenon is common to all people. Remember 9/11? Everyone came together as one big happy family? That lasted almost 4 months. This is why people have a hard time dieting, exercising, anything that requires change- we all start out with gusto, then have trouble maintaining. Please don't call it a tragic flaw, you're human, like the rest of us.

I've heard that it takes 21 days to root a habit. If you can somehow, reinforce/reward/maintain a behavior for at least 3 weeks, it becomes easy to continue.

Pick one thing, keeping the house neater, for example. Make sure its something you really want to accomplish for YOU, not for someone's image of you. Realistically figure out how you can do this. Choose one aspect like making beds, picking up laundry or toys. Make yourself a chart, or keep a list so you can see the progress. Don;t beat yourself up if you miss once; you can just go back to it the next day. Just try to pick something that you can do without too much resistance.

Taking on davening shachris when you have 3 kids to ready for school, an infant to nurse and two toddlers to entertain may not be realstic and you set yourself up to fail.

As far as the vitamins, pick something that you do every day, like cahnge your baby's diaper each morning and keep the vitamins near the place you change him.

If you want a routine, take the things you do everyday and put them in an order. You probably already do this- wake up, mode ani, wash, bathroom, dress etc.

If you have a baby at home, recognize that routine may not be as smooth as you would like, babies can't tell time. But if you try to order all your activities, your baby will also benefit as he will eventually be able to expect what's next and be happier. When you start feeding him meals, make a routine. Always use the same seat, always use a bib, these things signal to your baby that meal comes next and makes it like a 'ceremony.'

The amount of time each thing takes is probably irrelevant; the important thing is the order that they occur, the length can be flexible. This is a routine. And even if it's hard now with a baby, he will grow up and you will have settled into a routine.

Wed, May 02 2007, 2:09 pm

I could have also written that post.... some things that help me: is not to bash myself (ex. if I forget to give my baby his vitamin one day I just try to remember for the next day) the real problem starts when you let one missed day affect the coming days instead of just restarting like by a diet.. and for ruchniyos things , besides for taking baby steps don't even take on anything that you know you won't be able to and don't take on things for from now till forever it's o.k. to say "I will daven every day for the next week, month etc..and when the week/month is up say for another week/month