Do this for someone, please

amother

Yellow

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 8:22 pm

I have been talking a lot with various people about a situation I'm going through with one of my children, trying to find solutions to various parts of the problem. It's been very stressful and difficult and confusing. Most of the people I've talked to were very caring and helpful, answered questions, gave suggestions, even empathized. But tonight I spoke with one educator who really made my day. Amidst all the frustration of feeling clueless, not knowing what is the right thing to do and chasing after ideas and opinions, his words brought me back to a place of inner peace and strength. He told me that I'm doing good for my child just by being aware and attentive to his needs and looking for solutions. He said I'm asking good questions. We may not know what the answer is at this point, but by continuing to be on top of the situation it will be OK eventually - because I know what I need to do, if the first thing doesn't work out we will go on the same way to find the next best thing to try. Not finding the right answer on the first try isn't going to ruin anything, I'll stay on top of it and it will be OK (B"H we're not talking about cancer treatment or the like where any wrong move is at best a waste of very precarious time... I can't imagine how much worse that is... we're talking here about developmental time which is valuable but not like that.)

Anyway, that was so grounding and affirming for me, to hear from someone else - one of the professional that I was consulting - that even if neither of us knows the "right" answer, I am still doing the right thing as a parent. I didn't realize how badly I needed to hear that. Everyone else was very generous with their time and advice for which I am grateful, but none of them said "You're doing good" along with "you should do this or that."

So this is just a PSA that the next time you're talking to someone who might be feeling insecure, which is probably just about everyone these days, tell them if they're doing something right. Even if they're an adult who seems to be managing their own life and you'd think they could judge for themselves what the right thing to do is, they might still need to hear it from someone.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Jul 15 2015, 9:29 pm

Yes, yes.

Today I brought my Dad to the doctor and the doctor said I am doing a good job. Which I don't think I am most of the time. But he gave us certain instructions & we went to his office last week (actually another family member took him but PA had different instructions) and then I brought him today after following doctor's instructions. Doesn't sound like much. But he said so many people don't do what he tells them & don't come in for appointments.

So I felt like I got a gold star!