Asking a Complete Stranger....

amother

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:12 pm

I was in a shoe store today, and this woman came over to me and asked if she could use my phone, I happily obliged because I know how it is to be without a phone. She then proceeded to call two friends to discuss which sneaker to get. Now I didn't really care who she called, I thought it was a bit odd to call two friends on someone else's phone but ok. Then as I'm leaving she asks me if I could put a quarter in her meter, I again said ok because I was going in that direction but....

would you ever be so bold and do these things? I would never ever do something like that. Furthermore do you think it was rude of her???

Amother, because I have no clue if she is on the site or not.. (if you can figure out who I am from the way I type it doesn't really matter)

yoyosma

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:29 pm

Well, I have lent other people my phone because like you, amother (lol- who am I talking to??) I have been without a phone and know what it is like not to have one.
I dont know what I would have done to cut this woman short, though. I dont think I would have said anything about the nature of her calls, but I may have said, "Are you done yet?"
And if I wouldnt have said anything about the length of the calls, I definitely would have said something about the meter, something like, "wow, I guess I am doing a lot of favors for you today".
Thats just me.
As for asking a stranger those types of favors- no.

amother

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:37 pm

Crayon210 wrote:

I find it a little odd that you would agree to all those things. I wouldn't lend a stranger my phone, and I don't think I would just put a quarter in someone's meter. Confused

I don't know when someone asks me to use a phone, I always assume its an emergency, and you wouldn't help someone out in a bind???? I find that a bit odd. I didnt realize she was going to call her friends.

mimivan

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:44 pm

I've done this before, because I don't have a cell phone, and it is not yet on our list of things to buy because well...kesef issues. I feel so embarrassed

every time. But look at it this way, at least you were giving to a fellow Jew. At least in Israel, I find Israelis are more comfortable asking for favors, help etc...so I feel more bold in that respect but to call 2 friends! And ask for parking meter money?? That's a bit much.

But when I see how l'havdil the Arabs ask for things! Mad

So at least when a Jew asks for something, I am happy to at least be doing something for a fellow Yid. This is an example of how the Arabs are here: I had an Arab working in our back yard. He asked for water. Fine, I gave him water. He said the water wasn't good enough, he wanted juice. I gave him juice. He asked for chips, gave him chips. He then wanted to know if I had any spare baby clothes. I said I was keeping my baby clothes. He then asked me if I could run an errand for him, if I could go to the bank and deposit his check shock

And then they ask for our land!!

So when I find myself in a situation where another yid is imposing on me, I think, baruch Hashem, she's another Jew!!

Last edited by mimivan on Tue, May 08 2007, 6:47 pm; edited 1 time in total

Crayon210

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:49 pm

amother wrote:

Crayon210 wrote:

I find it a little odd that you would agree to all those things. I wouldn't lend a stranger my phone, and I don't think I would just put a quarter in someone's meter. Confused

I don't know, I'd feel a little uncomfortable in the con-artist world we live in. Confused

amother

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:53 pm

Crayon210 wrote:

amother wrote:

Crayon210 wrote:

I find it a little odd that you would agree to all those things. I wouldn't lend a stranger my phone, and I don't think I would just put a quarter in someone's meter. Confused

I don't know, I'd feel a little uncomfortable in the con-artist world we live in. Confused

She was a frum woman with a two year old, didn't look to suspicious....

amother

Tue, May 08 2007, 6:59 pm

I think that *in a bind* its ok to ask a stranger to use their phone, but only for an emergency, not to chat about sneakers. And for a quarter, I usually go to a store and ask them to change a dollar-- or if there are no stores around, I'll ask a person, but always offering to give them nickels and dimes.

I was in a huge shul once on a weekday-- in a rather secluded part of the shul-- and I was having a long, emotional conversation with my mashpia-- I was even crying. This obnoxious lady who was in a totally different part of the shul came over to me and asked to use my phone. (Can you believe the chutzpah?!). As I said, I was in the middle of this emotional sob-session, so I just kind of waived my hand. About 15/20 minutes later, she came back-- and loudly told me which part of the shul she is in, so whenever I'm done, I can come give her my phone. shock

Can you even beleive?!?! Needless to say, I finished my convo, dried my eyes, and LEFT the shul!

BTW: the shul holds tremendous emotional significance, hence the reason I was there--- many people cry there. And I was out of the way, as I said, in a secluded section, so I wasn't bothering anyone who was davening.

cdawnr

Tue, May 08 2007, 7:17 pm

I would only ever ask someone to borrow a phone if it were going to be a two second really necessary call. (or if dh asked for osmething and was home and I just neeeded to know what x was) But never to call friends and ask their opinion on something!

I don't know what I woul dhave done if I had been in your shoes (sorry, no pun intended) but I definitely would have been put out that she had such chutzpah. Most cell phones are not free during the day...that is eating up someone's minutes, so in a way it is a for of ganeivus if you don't know that they have unlimited. At least between one call and a second she should have said, oh do you mind if I just call one other person.

As far as the meter--by this point it is obvious that she is fairly oblivious to other people. But if I knew that someone was going right near my car and I had the kids with me, I might ask...actually I would probably end up too shy to ask.

workingallthetime

Tue, May 08 2007, 7:48 pm

very unlike me, but I was on line at the super market less than an hour before shabbos, and realized I left my soup on high, and it would likely boil over, so needed to call my husband to have him lower the flame, and of course, had forgotten my phone as I ran out of the house to pick up a few last minute things. There was a frum lady behind me in line and I was in a bit of panic, and said "oy, I left my soup on high, I bet my husband wont hear it boil over till it is all over the place, or one of the kids goes to get something from the kitchen" so she was like, here, use my phone, which I felt a bit uncomfortable with (I had never seen her before) since it wasnt an "emergency" but since she offered, I used it and very quickly called my husband.

first thing he asks is "where are you calling from?" turns out, based on the area code, he thought it was my sister calling (from the east coast) and got nervous since it was already shabbos there. So, I ask the lady where she is from, and turns out she was a friend of my sister's mil (lived near where my bil grew up) and was in town visiting family.

but unless it was urgent, I probably wouldnt ask to use a stranger's phone, and certainly not to chit chat with my friends about what shoes to buy.

southernbubby

Tue, May 08 2007, 7:48 pm

It is a chessed for you; a chutzpah for her. I think that after a couple of minutes I would have said, excuse me I am low on minutes. If she gave me attitude, I would have said that I thought she was only using it for an emergency not a conversation. As for quarters, was it yours or hers. I am low on quarters too.

greenfire

Tue, May 08 2007, 7:58 pm

I do not own a cell phone ... however I have asked people to use theirs ... in each case it was important ... still hard to ask ... and only if they had free minutes ... on a bus delayed from NY ... on a plane delayed for a whole day from kansas ... and a person I knew when it was my mother's bd and I was away from home and wanted to call ...

What

for shoes and a shmooz and a quarter on top - that girl has chutzpah!!! and why were you so nice ... What

HappyPurim

Tue, May 08 2007, 8:01 pm

we were once in a pizza store, and a teenage boy asked my hub if he can borrow the cell so my hub gave it, about 1/2 hour later we were on the way home and we got 2 phone calls from this teenage boys friend asking to speak to him,,,,,,how weird is that.

greenfire

Tue, May 08 2007, 8:24 pm

HappyPurim wrote:

not really so weird I have done that too ... assumed my kid was at a phone that he/she called from ... annoying was only an afterthought cause I had no idea ...

Seraph

Wed, May 09 2007, 2:32 am

In israel- if I ever forget my cell phone somewhere, or my battery died, and its an emergency, I ask people if I could borrow their cell phone quickly bec mine died. And if it'll be more than a second, I ask the person I'm calling to call them back, so that way its not wasting their minutes (free incoming).

I lend my phone to people, as long as I can keep an eye on them and I ask them beforehand to please make it quick.