What is codependancy?

amother

Floralwhite

Sun, Dec 13 2015, 9:27 pm

Codependency is complex but it boils down to when a person derives their sense of identity through others.

Whether they focus on pleasing others, conforming to others, or in some cases manipulating others, codependents must learn the value of their own true self, put themselves first in a healthy way, and set healthy boundaries.

A person can be codependent only in a specific relationship, most often used when referring to spouse or parent of an addict or other dysfunctional person, or someone can be a codependent person and have an intense need for relationships to give them an identity.

ETA: Many people have codependent traits and are okay. For some people this ruins their quality of life - especially if their codependency is on unhealthy people who abuse or manipulate them. Parents who are codependent on their children cripple them. A codependent wife will tolerate behavior that a healthy person wouldn't.

Some middos lessons and aspects of frum culture, when taken to unhealthy extremes, feed this trait.