You're such a great mom!!

amother

Powderblue

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 7:17 am

What does this even mean? I used to and still sometimes do projects with my kids and play with them and stuff and people have told me that I'm such a great mom. I always shrugged it off. To me, that doesn't make any sense. I'm not a great mom because I do those things, I do those things because that's who I am. I might be a great mom, but for other reasons Wink

. Does that mean that others who don't aren't great mothers? Each parent/person has their own thing that makes them them. Does it make them great? I don't think so. I know they say it to make the person feel good, but to me it doesn't make much sense. What do you think?

amother

Smokey

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 7:23 am

I hear what you are saying
in my experience when ppl say "your such a great parent/mom" its for things that they 'think' they should be doing, things that society thinks make a great parent
like baking together,going on family outings, doing fancy projects.

when we all deep down know that being a good parent isn't (just) about doing creative projects.

I also do projects with my kids all the time- and I for sure dont think im such a great parent bc I struggle with so many other things. (like patience, letting small things go, focusing)

idk its all a journey that I am learning on the way.

amother

Amethyst

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 7:27 am

Interesting. I've never been called a great mom for anything, even really cool or above and beyond stuff. But dh regularly gets called a great dad for changing a diaper or taking a kid with him to the store Rolling Eyes

(happens to be, he IS a great dad, but come on, changing a diaper is a pretty low bar).

amother

Seafoam

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 7:36 am

I think you're over-thinking this. Complimenting you on something is not an insult to all other things. Like if someone says you look really great in an outfit, it doesn't mean you look terrible in all other outfits. Just accept the compliment.

amother

Silver

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 7:50 am

I get that a lot too. Because I like doing crafts projects with then and giving them sensory play, which lots of parents don't do because it gets messy or whatever. And I always think in my mind, that doesn't make me a great mom! If I'd yell less and give more attention and be calmer and have better discipline then maybe I'd accept the compliment.

amother

Smokey

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 8:11 am

amother wrote:

(happens to be, he IS a great dad, but come on, changing a diaper is a pretty low bar).

ha! I love that! my dh also who yes is a great father, but isnt around much for day to day scheduling, when once in a blue moon he does pick up or drop off he literally thinks he is father of the year.

essie14

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 8:56 am

I accept all compliments no matter who says it! I'll never tire of hearing I'm a great mom LOL

seeker

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 10:14 am

It's a compliment from someone who likes to say nice encouraging things to people. Take it and stop thinking so much Smile

gibberish

Fri, Dec 16 2016, 12:42 pm

I'm going to go off on a tangent here.

I understand what you are saying.

We can learn from this how to compliment children.

I am in the middle of reading parenting books, and they all say to give specific compliments, not general compliments such as "you're such a good boy/girl." Rather "I love the way you put the crayons away, talked nicely to your sibling, etc."

A general compliment leaves the child confused.

amother

Powderblue

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 7:23 pm

amother wrote:

seeker wrote:

It's a compliment from someone who likes to say nice encouraging things to people. Take it and stop thinking so much Smile

I don't not take it as a compliment, I'm asking about the mentality behind it.

sourstix

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 8:21 pm

Op people are so busy these days they don't really have time to have fun with their kids. The fact that you spend such quality time is a rarity. Their trying to tell you your being a good devoted involved parent. Many people want to do fun stuff with their kids but don't. And you are! They are admiring you for doing positive things! Good for you. People do different things to spend time with their kids. Everyone is good at something else. For you this comes easily not to everyone. Does this answer your question?

yamz

Sat, Dec 17 2016, 8:21 pm

I think it's what Smokey amother was saying. When people find out that you do all these "extras" for your kids, which they probably don't do, they are impressed that you have put in all this additional effort. They wish they did the same types of thing for their children and admire you for taking the time to give your children these experiences.