My Neighbor's Baby

amother

Coral

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 1:58 pm

Okay, my neighbor knows what's wrong with her almost-2-year-old, but I don't, and my Hebrew is not good enough to ask her, and I'm not so comfortable asking her anyway, because I don't know how bad it is. So with that intro... I want to know what's wrong with this delicious child. It's somewhat curiosity but more that I really like them and want everything to be fine... and it seems like it's heading in the opposite direction, chas veshalom. So I'm hoping someone can shed some light on what might be in store.

When he was about 6 months old he had a surgery on the back of his head and they put something in. I think it was to drain extra fluid. She told me they would need to check to see if it would be done after that one or he would need it to keep being replaced as he grew. She was worried because there's another kid nearby who had this condition and he ended up being pretty severely special needs because of it. But my mom said we had a neighbor with a kid with what seems like the same and she just needed a new shunt every year or so, but was perfectly fine after that (assuming my and her understanding were correct).

So now the baby is almost 2 and has a surgery this week. I was assuming it was to remove the thing (shunt?) and was hoping he wouldn't need another and was fine. But the big brother told me today that this is something different- he needs something on the top of his head now. So what is this??? Anyone have a clue? He seems to be developing pretty normally to me... I really hope he's fine!!

myself

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 2:49 pm

amother wrote:

That's what I figured from googling, too, but what is with this new surgery then. Can it be that someone with that condition would need something at the top of his head, too?

No idea, but shunts sometimes need to be replaced. And also, hydrocephalus isn't always a standalone diagnosis, there may be other issues present too. Whatever it is, I wish your neighbour all the best and a refuah shleimah for her baby.

For now, keep your curiosity to yourself and just be there for them in whatever way you can. Do they have other kids that may need to be watched during the surgery? Do they need meals? other help?

amother

Seafoam

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 2:49 pm

Sorry to be blunt but please, bug out! Ita not your business to know everything. Don't assume or gossip about ot, It will make No difference to you to know what's going on with that child! You cannot help the situation anyways. You feel bad? Daven on her behalf or offer babysitting/a meal...

groovy1224

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 2:55 pm

Why can't you just daven that he should have a successful surgery and should be healthy? What are you looking to gain here? If she feels close to you and wants to share his diagnosis with you, she will.

Until then, just be a supportive friend. Don't make useless speculations about his condition.

Iymnok

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 3:02 pm

groovy1224 wrote:

Read the OP. Her Hebrew isn't good enough to either ask or understand the answer.

amother

Coral

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 3:15 pm

Iymnok wrote:

Read the OP. Her Hebrew isn't good enough to either ask or understand the answer.

Yeah, that's the issue. Their older kids love my house and are here all the time, especially when the baby is in the hospital or whatever, so they are always telling me what's going on, but I only understand half of what they say, sometimes less. They taught me the word for surgery... try learning that from a kid acting out cutting someone's head open! The mom has spoken to me about it as well, but again, I only half understood. Obviously I do daven for them, but having some knowledge of what they might be going through would help me understand better, and flip out less (I'm hoping!). When I read that hydrocephalus often ends up fine if treated early, I felt so much better. When someone said "sorry to be blunt," my heart skipped a beat because I thought the bluntness was because of the condition.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 4:47 pm

amother wrote:

You need to work on why you are "flipping out". Hashem is in charge of this baby, and I'm sure the mother is getting good medical care for him.

Just keep the other kids entertained, and keep davening. The rest is none of your business.

amother

Navy

Mon, Dec 18 2017, 5:06 pm

FranticFrummie wrote:

She is flipping out because she cares. I can't understand why she is being criticized for caring.
Op good for you for trying to understand without needlessly asking "what? I don't understand " over and over to your neighbor. The last thing the neighbor needs is to waste her time and energy explaining to you in broken English what is going on. She explained once in hebrew. You didn't get it so you come here to get clarification instead of bothering your neighbor.

amother

Coral

Tue, Dec 19 2017, 3:05 am

amother wrote:

Thanks for the support. I really don't get it either. I would think many people would want to know if a baby they care about has a condition likely to be fatal (chas v'shalom) or fine. Obviously I am not going to get a sure answer because I don't know enough and nothing is for sure anyway, but at least someone's best guess based on experience.

As for the medical terms, thanks, lymnok. I've become an expert on "nituach" over the year, unfortunately.