Sleepovers/Letting Family Babysit

westchestermom

Thu, Dec 28 2017, 1:36 am

I have 3 and 6 year old girls. We ask either my sister or my husband's sister to babysit maybe 3 times a year for date nights, but we have adult time at least once or twice a month while both kids are in school and we go out for lunch and shopping. My oldest daughter has only slept at his sister's house when I was in the hospital giving birth, otherwise they have never stayed out overnight. Am I doing something wrong by not going out of my way to send them to family without my husband and I being there?

My sister in law says that it's not good for my kids to always be with me, but my kids haven't asked to go places without us. Between work and school I miss them and enjoy spending all our evenings together and my husband says we had children to spend time together, not to give them to family to take care of. Do I have to let my kids sleep at her house? She's been gently trying for a couple of years now but she sees that I feel sad at the idea so she isn't pushing. My kids haven't asked but the big one likes to visit her and my husband usually takes them when I'm sleeping or at work.

Iymnok

Thu, Dec 28 2017, 1:45 am

My oldest is 9 1/2. I have only started letting her sleep out this past summer. At a friend on the next street.
Your relationship with your kid is paramount.
There is no need for sleepovers, though they can be fun or helpful.

little_mage

Thu, Dec 28 2017, 2:16 pm

I have fond memories of sleepovers at my grandparents house, probably starting from the time I was three or four. I don't think there's anything wrong with a sleepover, especially with family, at your children's ages. On the other hand, I don't think you're causing them harm by not allowing it either. What do your children think about it?

DrMom

Thu, Dec 28 2017, 2:23 pm

I don't see any problem with sleepovers, especially at a trusted family member's home, assuming your kids and the hosts are okay with it.

But you are the parent.

That being said, your sister-in-law should mind her own business.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Dec 28 2017, 2:28 pm

why do people seem to think its their business to tell others whats normal and how to raise someone elses kids? I dont get it. mind boggling. like the other thread about how clean/dirty someones house is. dont get me wrong if you or someone you know is being abused then get them help. other then that everyone mind your own business!

op dont even think what your sister in law is telling you. because she thinks its important doesnt mean what you do is not good. making you feel guilty is not good. tune her out and do what you want and what is good.

listen to what you want and what you think is good for your kids. what is your opinion. not what is her opinion? gosh. so annoying

amother

Jade

Thu, Dec 28 2017, 3:17 pm

amother wrote:

I agree with this post. My relatives think they have a right to tell me whats normal"" and how to raise my kids. Im tired of them bossing me around as if im a baby and yet when it comes to my bills, they are not paying its my responsibility all of a sudden im an adult.

Op, if you / your dh have decided not to send them for sleepovers, then that is okay and your kids will still be fine.