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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Petra
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:13 pm
So, I just learned that some people on this site "hug" as a way to indicate negative response to one's post.
That is one of the rudest, most passive aggressive acts I've heard of.
And I thought it was a genuine expression of caring.
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Boca00
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:26 pm
It totally is passive-aggressive and rude when a hug is misused (obviously I am not referring to situations that call for empathy).
Just curious, what did you think when people hugged controversial or innocuous posts? What would the genuine caring be about in those cases?
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:29 pm
Petra wrote: | So, I just learned that some people on this site "hug" as a way to indicate negative response to one's post.
That is one of the rudest, most passive aggressive acts I've heard of.
And I thought it was a genuine expression of caring. |
Maan, Petra, you took the words out of my mouth! Well, not literally but I cannot agree with u more! It's diabolical! How did amother start such a ridiculous trend? It's heartless. If its source is in the secular world, that's even stupider. The reason I imagine Ima was created was exactly for the purpose of strengthening one another by showing each other "Imi anochi batzara" as, in G-d's image, "I am with you in your pain." it's for Jewish women, by Jewish women. It's just wacky that a hug can have negative connotations! Sad, too..
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BrachaBatya
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:33 pm
That's so weird. I don't make it on here every day but honestly, I had no idea people would use hugs in a negative way! Why? How crazy.
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happyfaces
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:54 pm
Just got huged in the spirit airline thread. I wish there's a way I can see who it was.
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flowerpower
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 9:56 pm
Old story...I get hugged at the most random posts... I am not even sure what the passive aggresser would disagree with there.
Last edited by flowerpower on Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
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tigerwife
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:01 pm
happyfaces wrote: | Just got huged in the spirit airline thread. I wish there's a way I can see who it was. |
Revealing huggers has been suggested numerous times as a solution to this problem.
I believe that no one should be forced to read devious intentions in an innocuous action. If no one believes a hug to be offensive, it will not be.
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:03 pm
Maybe an old story, but how about we rewrite the narrative? Someone with some "weight" on Ima start a thread that every Ima could agree; from today on, a hug button is exactly that. No anon posters on that thread. I'll bet you'll see how many ima's agree it should be used only for good.
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amother
Maroon
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:05 pm
Jewishfoodie wrote: | Maan, Petra, you took the words out of my mouth! Well, not literally but I cannot agree with u more! It's diabolical! How did amother start such a ridiculous trend? It's heartless. If its source is in the secular world, that's even stupider. The reason I imagine Ima was created was exactly for the purpose of strengthening one another by showing each other "Imi anochi batzara" as, in G-d's image, "I am with you in your pain." it's for Jewish women, by Jewish women. It's just wacky that a hug can have negative connotations! Sad, too.. |
It’s not a secular thing I only see it on imamother.
I still vote we completely eliminate hugs and go back to how things were.
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:07 pm
amother wrote: | It’s not a secular thing I only see it on imamother. |
Isn't that even sadder?
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amother
Salmon
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 10:24 pm
amother wrote: | It’s not a secular thing I only see it on imamother.
I still vote we completely eliminate hugs and go back to how things were. |
This was discussed on this thread and (on page 4) Yael decided to remove it from specific forums.
http://www.imamother.com/forum.....art=0
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Petra
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:34 pm
My eyes have been opened and I wish they weren't. I prefer to think of the "hugs" as just that but now I'm jaded. Instead of removing the "hug" sign, just add a "thumbs down" as well. The worlds a lot better off with honesty and less sarcasm. People want to express their disapproval, do it. Don't be so contemptuous.
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Snow White
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:42 pm
I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love
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amother
Lilac
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:45 pm
Snow White wrote: | I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love |
Same here.. Now I have to go unhug a bunch of posts
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Jewishfoodie
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Wed, Jan 17 2018, 11:50 pm
amother wrote: | Same here.. Now I have to go unhug a bunch of posts |
Don't. You hugged because you truly felt for the person. Don't perpetuate a bad thing. You did a good thing.
The only people who should "unhug" are the passive aggressive, lonely mean-spirited people. Is that u? It is not! U gave a virtual hug. And someone felt good. Mitzvah.
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ellacoe
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Thu, Jan 18 2018, 12:29 am
Snow White wrote: | I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love |
Me too!
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oliveoil
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Thu, Jan 18 2018, 1:08 am
The reality is that until there is a 'dislike' button, the hug button will be used that way.
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WhatFor
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Thu, Jan 18 2018, 1:13 am
Snow White wrote: | I’m pretty new here and had no idea that hugs were derogatory. I feel bad now that I hugged a few posts. I was honestly just trying to show love |
Don't worry! Hugs are generally interpreted as love, especially where someone posts something that's obviously particularly upsetting.
It's more like when you see hugs on a controversial post that it's probably passive aggressive and sarcastic.
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Rutabaga
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Thu, Jan 18 2018, 1:29 am
Just FYI, while it definitely happens that people use the hug button sarcastically sometimes it happens by accident when scrolling down a thread using a mobile phone or tablet. I have personally come across posts that I've unintentionally hugged. I unhug (is that a word?) if I catch it but I'm sure I haven't caught every single accidental hug.
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