Should I go with the kids? kind of long

amother

Gray

Thu, Jan 25 2018, 7:41 am

So I had a whole trip to Florida planned out for the summer. I handle the bills and figured out how to pay for everything. I researched where to stay, what to do, how to get there. I am really looking forward to going, and then I brought it up to my husband and said I want to sit down and pick dates to go, and he said he doesn't think it will be fun flying with a baby(a 1 year old ) and a child with a medical condition, besides for our other kids.My child with the medical condition was diagnosed over two years ago and it took a lot out of my family- it still does- and that is exactly why I want to go. I feel like my kids earned this amazing trip because of all the cr*p they have been through these past few years. My child with the medical condition is B'H very manageable(but it took us till this point to get to this stage). I am really upset because I really feel like my kids and I can use this break from reality. My husband is off in the summer so it's not like he has to take off from work. He said to me last night that if I really want to go with the kids, I should take the big ones and he will stay home with the baby and the child with the medical condition.Eventhough I feel like the child with the medical condition would love Florida, she is still young and it would be a lot easier going without her. Do you think it is wrong of me to do that, and go without my husband and other kids? I am feeling so guilty for thinking about going, but we also have different personalities. I am spur of the moment, lets do fun things and figure it out along the way, (even though this trip I came planned to the t because I know what dh is like) and he gets very antsy and stressed on vacation. What do you think I should do? He said he doesn't mind driving somewhere, just not Florida. But I really want to do a wow vacation because I am burnt out and my kids are too. please help!

doctorima

Thu, Jan 25 2018, 10:30 am

No, I don't think it's wrong of you at all. DH offered this arrangement voluntarily, no need to feel guilty at all. I would jump and book the tickets before he changes his mind! It sounds like you'll have a much better time there without DH, and if he's keeping the baby and the child with a medical condition, go and enjoy a well-deserved getaway with your older kids, and don't think twice!

doctorima

Thu, Jan 25 2018, 11:40 am

Then that's a separate issue. A spouse making an offer that's not truly full-hearted is a recipe for problems. You didn't mention in your OP that he would be resentful, so I assumed it was a legitimate offer. You have to choose if you want to call his bluff and live with the consequences, or have a long discussion about how important this trip is and how much work you've put into it, and how to make it a reality.

Maybe you can all go, but spend some time doing different things - him with his friends (maybe taking baby and/or child with medical issue), and you with the older kids - and some time together as a family. Or if flying is the issue, maybe some or all of you can drive down, while others fly, especially since he has the extra time off and can spend the extra days driving.

imamother153

Thu, Jan 25 2018, 12:57 pm

Maybe at the spur of the moment the idea seemed overwhelming to him. Give him a few days to think it over and then bring up the topic again. Maybe he feels he needs a vacation without the kids since the circumstances were exhausting to him as well. Since the kids are coming along he'd rather stay home. See if u can arrange somewhere throughout babysitting so the two of u can get out on your own. And I think the child with the medical condition can benefit majorly from it. She's been through a lot.