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-> Children's Health
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amother
Ivory
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 Wed, Mar 21 2018, 9:41 pm
I'm wondering whether or not I'm overreacting.
We're by my in-laws already for yom tov since we came from abroad, and decided to make an extended visit out of it.
My sis-in-law who lives near them was planning on moving in just for one night, this Shabbos.
One of her kids just came down with chickenpox. My toddler hasn't had it yet and hasn't had the vaccine for it yet either.
I really really don't want her to catch it now over yom tov.
I think that my sis in law shouldn't be coming if others can be catching it though they seem to think it's fine.
What is your opinion?
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ohmygosh
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:06 pm
Of course she shouldn't come. That's very selfish of her. If she is, I would seriously consider moving out for a few nights, otherwise you may be dealing with a sick miserable kid all pesach.
Last edited by ohmygosh on Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:54 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:17 pm
| ohmygosh wrote: | | Of course she shouldn't come. That's very selfish if her. If she is, I would seriously consider moving out for a few nights, otherwise you may be dealing with a sick miserable kid all pesach. |
I think the same as you though everyone else here seems to think it isn't a problem.
They were here last shabbos as well so there's a chance that she already caught it before it came out. Does that change anything?
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amother
Mustard
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:21 pm
Even if your child catches it he won’t be sick for another 1-3 weeks.
It takes time to start.
Just saying that could be it won’t be on pesach but after pesach.
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amother
Ivory
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 10:22 pm
| amother wrote: | Even if your child catches it he won’t be sick for another 1-3 weeks.
It takes time to start.
Just saying that probably it won’t be on pesach but after pesach. |
Which can be when I'm flying back home...
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amother
Taupe
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 11:33 pm
I see both sides in this one...
I might approach SIL and tell her nicely that you're worried about your child getting the pox right before flying home, and the plane may not let him board. Ideally she will apologize for not thinking of that and offer to stay home.
Or, she may point out (as you already mentioned) that he was probably already exposed.
Either way, once you have given her a chance to back out gracefully, you can spend an annoying Shabbos handwashing and trying to keep your toddler away from her child. It's frustrating, but it happens.
I doubt she's thrilled about the timing either, and is trying to make this a less traumatic story than it already is. She may need her mother's help for Shabbos, trying to make Pesach with a sick child isn't a piece of cake. And if your child was already exposed, she may not see a reason to make things more painful for herself when the chances it will help you are slim.
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das
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Wed, Mar 21 2018, 11:55 pm
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If it were me, I'd move out rather than be in the same house as a child with chicken pox. Is there anywhere you can go?
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Raisin
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 5:04 am
So wrong. When my kids had chicken pox I was so careful not to go anywhere and warned any potential guests. I cancelled a much anticipated trip. What if you infected a pregnant woman or other vulnerable person? (maybe you are pregnant and not immune)
when did your start showing signs? You child was very likely exposed already, the few days before the spots come out are the most infectious.
Also if your baby is under a year getting chicken pox will not mean he is immune forever. 
The good news is in most babies it is not very serious. My kids were not too bad.
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chmom
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:10 am
Quote:
„Either way, once you have given her a chance to back out gracefully, you can spend an annoying Shabbos handwashing and trying to keep your toddler away from her child. It's frustrating, but ithappens“
Unfortunately hand washing won’t help, the disease is airborne and extremely infectious
Just being in the same room with someone affected is enough to catch it
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Teomima
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:17 am
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Of course she shouldn't come, and I'm shocked she would be so inconsiderate to think it's okay to bring her highly contagious child around other kids. You are absolutely not overreacting. It'd be one thing if you lived there and weren't opposed to purposely exposing your child, the way were all handled chicken pox before the vaccine, but you're on vacation with a plane trip ahead of you! No way!
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seeker
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 9:20 am
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Even in the days when chicken pox was very common, you'd keep the kid away from others. On erev yom tov it's especially vile.
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amother
Ivory
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 9:20 am
| amother wrote: | I see both sides in this one...
I might approach SIL and tell her nicely that you're worried about your child getting the pox right before flying home, and the plane may not let him board. Ideally she will apologize for not thinking of that and offer to stay home.
Or, she may point out (as you already mentioned) that he was probably already exposed.
Either way, once you have given her a chance to back out gracefully, you can spend an annoying Shabbos handwashing and trying to keep your toddler away from her child. It's frustrating, but it happens.
I doubt she's thrilled about the timing either, and is trying to make this a less traumatic story than it already is. She may need her mother's help for Shabbos, trying to make Pesach with a sick child isn't a piece of cake. And if your child was already exposed, she may not see a reason to make things more painful for herself when the chances it will help you are slim. |
She isn't making Pesach though she does have a month old baby.
Re exposure: Although she could have caught it already last shabbos, we don't know if she did or didn't and now there's a chance that the rest of her kids are contagious too, which triples the chances...
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animeme
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 9:25 am
| seeker wrote: | | Even in the days when chicken pox was very common, you'd keep the kid away from others. On erev yom tov it's especially vile. |
To my memory, most people wanted to be exposed, but only once the kid reached a certain age. Amd we asked first.
I wonder how much of this is pure callousness and how much is SIL needing this Shabbos away (if her kitchen is Pesachdik, exhaustion from dealing with Pesach and her kid.) I don't say that it's a valid reason, but maybe people are rationalizing.
One question: Have you truly spoken up? Or did you test the waters by asking, "But isn't this a problem?", get reassured it would be fine, and then didn't mention it again?
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seeker
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 9:36 am
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She said she's not making Pesach so it's not going to be stress over her kitchen already pesachdik... Can you send food for her to eat at home and not have to make shabbos?
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seeker
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 9:38 am
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Also, even among people who do want to be exposed (which OP clearly isn't, and in the age of vaccination many people aren't) I highly doubt they would accept an offer to catch chicken pox while visiting abroad for yom tov.
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amother
Powderblue
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 10:06 am
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Where are you located?! I would really like my daughter to get chicken pox and not the vaccine but haven’t had the opportunity for the last few years I’ve been waiting
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amother
Emerald
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 5:59 pm
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It's a little selfish that she wants to come, especially since you're visiting. It's rude, and I'm not sure why she's not thinking of you. I think you should your foot down on this one.
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FranticFrummie
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:07 pm
On behalf of every single person who might have to share a plane with an infected child, PLEASE have a serious talk with her. If she doesn't agree to stay home, you must leave and find another place to stay.
It's terrible to have your child be sick and kvetchy over Yom Tov, but it's unforgivable to expose pregnant, elderly, and immune compromised people.
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amother
Honeydew
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 6:38 pm
she might not be contagious anymore come shabbos. did her other kids already have chickenpox?
Last edited by amother on Sun, Jun 10 2018, 12:41 pm; edited 1 time in total
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littleprincess
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Thu, Mar 22 2018, 7:03 pm
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Chicken pox is contagious before the spots come out or first day or 2 . By shabbes she won't be contagious anymore
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