Rebbi recommending meds for teen

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:56 am

My son is in 9th grade. His rebbi has been pressuring him this year to take vitamins to help him focus better. He is a diligent student, learns at home during bein hazmanim, but needs a long time to understand the gemara and juggle all the details in his mind. This rebbe has never mentioned it to us as parents although we have spoken throughout the year and attended PTA. I have told my son repeatedly that he is fine, and its ok that he doesn't get it right away. Has anyone had this experience? My son came home again last night saying his rebbe said he should take vitamins and I am starting to feel nervous. Don't know about what. Just nervous. Many of his rebbeim in elementary school have said he was distracted but overall he did fine in school (I'm not the type to demand A's) and was successful socially and no one even mentioned this as a possibility. Is this normal for a rebbe to say?

das

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 11:58 am

It is extremely bizarre and unethical to tell a child to take health supplements. I'd call the rebbe immediately and if that goes nowhere, his superior.

amother

Lawngreen

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 12:08 pm

Extremely inappropriate for a rebbe to speak to a student this way.

Think before you call of what your gonna tell him and how. Ask him why he thinks telling your child is ok? Why doesn't he speak to you about it?

Op give him a call and tell him he should not speak to your ds about this.

It's not ok.

Another inappropriate rebbe. Can you see he might have focusing issues? If it's not that then leave him alone. Let him be himself. Not everyone is the genius! I wish this rebbe understood that. Have him explain why he thinks it's ok to tell this to your son.

thunderstorm

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 12:13 pm

I don't think a rebbe should be telling a student what supplements or medication to take. If he is concerned he should speak directly to the parents.

My little DS age 7 used to tell me he needs "Melatonin" to go to sleep. I've never in my life had Melatonin in the house. He had told the rebbe he was tired because he went to sleep late and the rebbe told my son to tell me that he need "mela-chews". I just answered him ,"you don't need mela-chews, you need to go to bed on time!".
I'm assuming the rebbe (a father of many) used Melatonin in his house and thinks this is standard.
Some people that are vitamin obsessed think this is "part of life" and normal to discuss with children.
I would speak to his Rebbe if I were you to find out what the concern is. Maybe your son has ADD and needs to be evaluated. But I don't think it's normal for a Rebbe to advise a kid, no matter the age, to take supplements.

FranticFrummie

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 12:29 pm

I would be furious if this happened to my child!

DD needs lots of extra help, one on one tutoring, patience, probably medication at some point, and is going for a full psych evaluation. I understand a kid struggling in school.

This is the sort of concern that a rebbe, morah, or teacher should be bringing straight to the parents, and then let the parents decide which PROFESSIONAL they should consult about the situation.

abound

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 12:49 pm

The part with the Rebbe talking to your son and not to you is wrong!
The part that the rebbi is suggesting it to you is okay. He is not prescribing anything, he just thinks you should go to a Dr. and check it out, Many kids need help, they do not get help till High school or post high school, especially if it is focusing and ADD without behavioral issues, when it comes down to it, even if they start at that time they are late in the game and need to start learning how to learn and they are much more behind than if they would have gotten the help they needed in grade school.
I am not pro or against meds, I think each case should be evaluated. I have seen too many kids who finally get help in HIgh school or Bais Medrash and it is so much harder for them at that point.

seeker

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 1:04 pm

I also think that this is one of those few situations where it would be better to go straight to the principal/administrator rather than to the teacher. Because this not just an incident, it's a general approach that could be hurtful to others in the future, and if you talk to the teacher then he will probably lay off your son but will not change his MO.

cnc

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 1:10 pm

das wrote:

It is extremely bizarre and unethical to tell a child to take health supplements. I'd call the rebbe immediately and if that goes nowhere, his superior.

This this this.

crust

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 1:15 pm

Your title sais meds and your post sais vitamins. Although its not making the breach of boundaries any less, asking about meds would take it to a different level.

There's also a difference in how it was done. Lets say the rebbe was taking his vitamins and your son was standing there and the rebbe told him; these vitamins are mega! They are amachaya for brain clarity! Try them!

Or....

Did the rebbe ever ask you or your husband to supplement him? And then went and asked your son whats up with the vitamins?

I'm not trying to whitewash the rebbe I am just trying to understand this story from both sides.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Apr 24 2018, 1:22 pm

Thank you for validating. I really appreciate the replies.

Crust, sorry for the discrepancy. This happened in late fall/early winter that our son came home with saying the rebbe had made this comment to him a few times - at this point, it was that he should seek medication. We spoke to our son about it and we were so weirded out and just told him to ignore what the rebbe said. Then, last night, he was learning one-on-one with his rebbe and he enjoyed it but he needed things repeated a few times to get the whole picture, and his rebbe told him to take vitamins to improve his focus. Any way, either way this is inappropriate... but thx for again for the input.