My toddler ran into the street!

amother

Aubergine

Tue, May 01 2018, 7:22 pm

I'll most likely get some bashing for this but I'm not telling a story, I'm looking for a solution, so please be so kind and don't don't be judgemental.

I live a flight down from the street. It's sort of in the backyard with the other side facing the other street. Completely gated and very safe for kids. However there's a flight of stairs going up that goes up to the main street, which is also very wide and set far apart from the road.

So I'm standing outside, and my toddler ran off to the next row of houses (also in that same yard). I was able to see her and figured it's highly unlikely she'll climb the steps and get to the curb which is pretty far from the houses (extra large driveway and grassy area) so I didn't run after her. I turned around for literally 5 minutes, and next thing I know, she'd climbed the stairs, and was out in the street.

neighbors started screaming as she stepped right onto the road where a bus made a short stop, nearly hitting her.

Needless to say I'm terribly shaken up by what happened, and of course I won't let her out of my eyesight for even a second from now on.

I would however, like to know if there's any way for me to be able to leave her outside for 5 minutes without worrying (again, other than the stairs going up, the place is completely safe).
I was thinking of getting a baby leash that would extend enough to let her run around, but somehow keep her attached to my porch steps or something. I just didn't find anything long enough.

Any suggestions?
Otherwise, this is gonna be one long long summer for me.

FranticFrummie

Tue, May 01 2018, 7:32 pm

A long leash could be a strangulation risk. You need to find some way to gate off your yard completely, or else you're going to have to watch her every single minute.

Toddlers are Houdinis, and you just can't assume that they know any better.

(Interesting side note: Every year more toddlers are killed in parking lots than there are from being left in parked cars. They dash out from between parked cars, and drivers circling for a spot won't see them until it's too late.)

animeme

Tue, May 01 2018, 7:33 pm

Nope. Outside, you can't. Even if somehow you could guarantee that she won't get out of whatever leash, what's to keep someone from getting to her?

Also, 5 minutes is longer than you realize. Imagine how far you could go if you ran for most of five minutes. Divide it by toddler legs, and it's still pretty far.

fmt4

Tue, May 01 2018, 7:36 pm

Seriously???? She is a TODDLER. No you can’t let her run around outside alone, and no don’t put her on a LEASH like a dog.

Do you live in monsey, by any chance? I see mothers like you all the time, letting their kids run around unsupervised and am horrified. There have been so many times that these kids lives have been put in danger because their parents can’t be bothered to keep an eye on them.
It’s really shocking that your daughter almost died and you’re already thinking of ways to leave her alone again.

amother

Salmon

Tue, May 01 2018, 8:00 pm

Gonnna be a very long summer for me 2. Part of the job of having a toddler. It means not joining the conversation because im running after my toddler. I only stay out for n hour at a time because more than that is 2 much for me. Sometimes I pay a girl to watch my toddler for a few min.
Personally I wld never put a kid on a leash. I think its horrendous.

thunderstorm

Tue, May 01 2018, 8:01 pm

fmt4 wrote:

The only time I've let my toddlers play outside alone was on a locked porch with the door to my house open. Otherwise it meant sitting outside with them most of the afternoon or having them cry that they want to go "bye-bye" but they had to wait until I was ready.
Take heed , they can do dangerous things even while you are outside with them and you turn your head to talk to someone for a minute. I learned the hard way. My two yr old went from my back yard through other yards and ended up four blocks away. I noticed he was missing immediately but I was looking for him in all the wrong places and that's how he got so far. The entire neighborhood went on a search for him. It was a scary moment many years ago and I've since learned that even turning your head even though he is standing right with you can be dangerous.

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, May 01 2018, 8:18 pm

My 2 year old learned how to open the gate in my backyard. Now I literally cannot leave him for a second alone outside. When he didn’t know how to open the gate I would only leave him for a minute or so. Like to run in the house for a bottle of water.
It’s frustrating but toddler age is the most dangerous age and they need the most supervision.

PinkFridge

Tue, May 01 2018, 8:29 pm

I'm really, really sorry. It's tough. But know your toddler is not the first to run into the street. You do need constant supervision, though.
Yes, people use leashes. Usually when going somewhere as a group, not when staying in one place. I haven't seen them too often, definitely not lately.
Hatzlacha!

amother

cornflower

Tue, May 01 2018, 8:56 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I have a very cute backpack-style leash that I used four times in total for two different (very rambunctious) kids. The death glares I got! And I only used them in super-crowded places where I couldn't bring a stroller.

I'm all for leashes when they're called for but OP, that's incredibly dangerous. And "just five minutes" is a very very very long time when you're talking about a 2-year-old. If my two-year-old was out of my line of sight for more than a minute I'd start to panic.

YOU CANNOT LEAVE A 2-YEAR-OLD ALONE FOR FIVE MINUTES. Not even for one minute!

Yes, you'll have a long summer, but your child will be safe.

Kiwi13

Tue, May 01 2018, 9:09 pm

I hated the idea of leashes until my toddler ran into the street into oncoming traffic right in front of me. I was 27 weeks pregnant with twins and fell on my stomach chasing after him into the street, I spent the rest of the day in the hospital.

Toddler leashes might be unappetizing and seem “wrong,” but after that day I decided it’s better to put up with the judgmental stares from strangers who really have no clue what they are judging. It might “look bad” but it keeps him safe and that is all that matters. Plus, it gives him more freedom than a stroller or having to hold hands every second.

That said, I only use it when I am walking outside (or at a museum or somewhere else) WITH him, I would never tether a child on a leash alone outside (or anywhere) for any length of time. As others have said, 5 minutes is much longer than it seems. A lot can happen in 5 minutes. I’m not bashing, just trying to show through my own experiences that a lot can happen within seconds, even if you are LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, so kal v’chomer if you’re not.

I’m sorry you had such a scare and I’m glad your daughter is okay. It’s a good opportunity to figure out better safety measures, and honestly I think many moms can benefit from this conversation.

amother

Aubergine

Tue, May 01 2018, 9:36 pm

fmt4 wrote:

OP here:

I hear what you're saying about the leash, and that's why I asked for advice about it as I'm not comfortable with the idea as well.

Regarding not letting outside alone, she was running around in an enclosed area that had steps which she hadn't been able to climb (at least I didn't know about it), and I was standing there (not right next to her but she was within my eyesight until I turned around).

And yes, I'm looking for ways to allow her to be outside in an ENCLOSED place and get rid of the hazards. Obviously if that doesn't work out then I have to be there with her all the time. But is it that funny that I'm trying to achieve that?

amother

Aubergine

Tue, May 01 2018, 9:40 pm

amother wrote:

Why would a normal parent even think that it's ok to leave a 2 year old outside alone?!?!?!? Mind boggling!! I'm glad your kid is safe! Hope it's a lesson learnt!

Once again, she wasn't alone, and the area is enclosed.
You wouldn't leave your child in the backyard with you being afew feet away, and a gate closing off the entire area? I can't see why not..