Feeling guilty about tefillin

amother

Blue

Wed, May 09 2018, 12:51 pm

My husband got cheap tefillin for his bar mitzva and never really got a chance to replace them... Although ironically, his parents are much better off now and they helped pay for our sons tefillin for their bar mitzvos. But I don't think we spent $3000 on them.

amother

Jetblack

Wed, May 09 2018, 1:10 pm

amother wrote:

I would buy the $3000 tefillin, unless your sofer can offer you an upgrade plan (I.e. buy the $1500 tefillin and you can trade them in for the $3000 pair if you pay the remaining $1500 + something).

This is your only chance probably to get DH mehudar tefillin again.

The money for the other repairs can come with time, but the tefillin are more or less now or never. And while you can get a cheap whitewash job and do a proper paint job later, you won't be able to upgrade the tefillin, just replace them.

Why is this time sensitive though? Dh has a loaner pair and can use it until whenever he gets the new set. It's not like he's without tefillin, he can take his time figuring it out. Also, the home repairs were not a mere paint job. They were things that had to be taken care of immediately because otherwise our home would be a literal sakana. I think we could do $3000 if a payment plan of some sort were possible. I suppose it comes down to working out an arrangement with the sofer.

amother

Wine

Wed, May 09 2018, 1:21 pm

amother wrote:

If Dh had found out that the tefilin he had been using were not super $3000 mehudar, what would he be looking to purchase now?

From what you wrote he is feeling 'guilty' at the idea of 'stepping down' with the purchase - as if that is 'wrong'. This is why a Rav would be helpful.

amother

Apricot

Wed, May 09 2018, 1:27 pm

Do you have replacement cost coverage or actual value? If it's replacement cost, you may be able to get more money once you have show proof that you have replaced the item

amother

Jetblack

Wed, May 09 2018, 1:31 pm

amother wrote:

We could afford to pay for a $1000 up front. Which is perfectly respectable, from what I understand, but still a step down from what he had. So he'd be feeling guilty to just go with that. With dealing with all the stuff that's been going on (paperwork, repairs, etc) we haven't gotten around to speaking with the Rav (though now that I think about it, that's really what we need to do). The very next day after the incident dh brought his tefillin on and got the loaner pair, so once he made sure he at least had a pair to use, figuring out what to do for actual replacement was not as pressing. Now that repairs are nearly done and we got the check, it's time for him to buy his new set.

amother

Wine

Wed, May 09 2018, 1:38 pm

amother wrote:

Good thinking Smile

Making a decision because of feeling 'guilt' doesn't necessarily make it the right choice. (ie guilt may be 'misplaced').

amother

Red

Wed, May 09 2018, 1:44 pm

There is a sofer in Lakewood who gets “Chashuva” tefillin from someone in Eretz Yisroel
We just got a pair for $1800 and it’s supposed to be top of the line
I can give you his number if you would want to contact him
He’s actually Chashuv himself

lavenderchimes

Wed, May 09 2018, 3:58 pm

Since you have such a wide range of options, and dh is feeling guilty, a Rav is definitely the way to go. I'm curious what the Rav says -- let us know, please Smile

Hatzlacha with all the major home repairs!

Iymnok

Wed, May 09 2018, 6:25 pm

Why were they valued so high? If it’s because they were from a top Sofer who only white two sets a year and died ten years ago, the value would be higher due to scarcity.
You want parshiyos that are written with pure kava is and a beautiful ksav. The batim with all the chumros. And so on.
You can get beautiful parshiyos that are not from that famous, pure, tzaddik of a Sofer that are still beautiful and still written b'tahara and kedusha.