Convenience vs. owning a house

amother

Silver

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:13 am

I know someone who up and moved across the country just so that she can afford a house. Her and her husband grew up in New York next to a ton of shopping. However, New York is extremely expensive so they could not afford a house. They moved across the country to where homes are much more affordable. However, any place out of new York, pretty much, places to go to aren't necessarily at your finger tips. You basically need to travel by car to get anywhere. Is giving up so many conveniences worth owning a house? We are considering doing that too, but I too will be giving up being able to walk everywhere, having everything conveniently located, just to buy an affordable house. Is it really worth it? Just curious as to what others' thoughts on this are. Thanks

icebreaker

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:24 am

I left New York too. Granted, I only moved to Connecticut and still work in New York so nothing as drastic as moving across the country. Yes, I do need to drive more and the money I spent on monthly metro cards now goes to gas and tolls, but for myself and my children, it was totally worth it. I do miss the convenience of the city and the reliable transportation, but nothing beats what we have now. Space, both inside our house and outside, privacy, quietness, just a peaceful place to come home to after the chaos of the city and not having to hear a fire truck or police car or ambulance blaring down the street every 2 mins (of course, you can get these things in places in the city as well).

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:38 am

Its a very personal decision with many factors weighting in. Depends upon your priorities. Do you have family nearby? Friends and family in other places?
How happy are you there?
How much do you value having a house?
Educate yourself. Take pilot trips. Ask people what its like living in those other places you would look into.
How does your husband feel about it?
Your kids? How happy are they in their schools? neighborhood?
If everyone is happy I'd think twice.

amother

Silver

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:40 am

amother wrote:

We moved to the suburbs for this reason, and while financially owning a house is usually the best move, I personally am not happy with having given up those conveniences. I would have preferred to buy a condo and stay in the city. Is that a possibility for you?

Op here: we actually own our co-op. We bought it almost 9 years ago but my husband has been talking about buying a house now for quite some time. He also really wants out of new York. The problem with buying a house out of new York means giving up all the conveniences we have here. The upside is we'd have a house. The convenience is something I really don't want to give up, but my husband seems willing to give up pretty much anything to own a house.

thunderstorm

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:41 am

I think it's personal. I love the laid back suburban life. I grew up in Brooklyn.
My sister, lives in Brooklyn and comes to me for Shabbos and can't handle the quiet for 24 hrs. She needs things "happening" around her. Whereas when I visit her I can't wait to get back home because I can't handle the overwhelming feeling of crowds, traffic and noise.
It's totally a personal preference.

mha3484

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:43 am

I think for me the difference between apartment and house is major and renting a house is usually much more expensive then a mortgage payment. We were in a 1000 sq ft apartment with a landlord who drove me totally crazy and we are I'YH buying a small house down the street and I am so excited for my kids to have more space from me and each other, a back yard, washing machines not 2 flights down friends they can walk to when they get older etc. If I had to move states for this I would really strongly consider it. I think its not good for kids or their parents to be cooped up in small apartments with no outdoor space forever. I get edgy and the kids get cranky and shabbos becomes this whole day of me feeling like the camp counselor.

amother

Peach

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 10:54 am

amother wrote:

I mean, if you and your husband don't agree about this, then that's something you are going to have to figure out just like you do with any other major decision you might not agree about. That changes things though if you already own. I think it's very important to own rather than rent if you can make it happen because owning is the simplest path to financial security (assuming you buy what you can afford) and it's really worth it to do what you can to own. House vs apartment is irrelevant in that regard.

Obviously in terms of lifestyle there are differences and you'll need to figure out if making that kind of switch is in the best interest of your family. It seems most people prefer a house in the suburbs, and maybe I'm just a weirdo for hating it. But I'm just giving the other side that having more space is not necessarily worth all the other things you're giving up. More space does not necessarily make it easier to keep house, I actually am finding harder. More space equals more stuff to do. I hate having to have two cars and I really hate having to drive everywhere because I hate driving. I hate having a lawn that requires upkeep (and yes, we pay a gardening service rather than do ourselves, but that's money we wouldn't have to spend if we didn't have a lawn). I gained weight because I'm not walking everywhere like I used to. Now, maybe you can handle all that. I seem to be very much in the minority with my suburb loathing. Plus your husband wants it. I can't tell you how to work it out between you two, but that's my side of the negatives to consider and weigh with the positives.

amother

Olive

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:15 am

amother wrote:

The other upside is your husband will be out of New York. Your husband wants to be out of New York.

Is it really true that in the US the only place where a person can live walking distance to a kosher grocery store is NY?

Raisin

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:19 am

If you already own your apartment then you are talking about city living vs suburban living, not whether or not owning is better then renting.

I live in a house with a garden in a semi suburban setting. Tons of parks, but also shops, buses and so on. I would hate to live in the type of place where you have to drive everywhere.

You can buy houses in NY, is it that you can't afford the type of house you like in NY?

amother

Plum

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:25 am

Op, I agree with you as I would rather the conveniences vs owning a house. I also own a coop and I think if someone doesn't own, they end up paying more money in rent in ny as rent keeps going up while a mortgage is fixed. However many ppl can't afford a house in ny and for a large family, an apt may be too small.

I also agree with thunderstorm that everyone is different so some ppl like the suburban rural life and don't mind driving everywhere. I personally hate driving everywhere but maybe its BC I also dont have enough money to buy newer cars which are more reliable. The issue with owning a coop is that there isn't much space for storage while a house has more space for storage bikes....but there are pros and cons to everything.

OOTBubby

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:27 am

doctorima wrote:

Does it have to be either/or? I thought your issue would be living far from family in NY, but if your only issue is being able to walk to stores, could you find a more affordable Jewish community that's in an urban area with stores nearby? Chicago comes to mind.

Stores in walking distance are very limited in Chicago. There are a couple of stores bordering on a residential area (primarily apartments, not homes). I live in the middle of one of the major residential areas and there is no store within 1.5 miles (other than Home Depot).

Kiwi13

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:28 am

I only ever visited NY, but I just don’t see it as a “convenient” place to live. Yes things are centrally located, but from what I can tell it seems like living there is a pain in the rear. Long commutes for short distances, exorbitant expenses, cramped living spaces, etc etc... I’ve lived “out of town” all my life and I love it. I’ve had commutes 20 miles each way and it’s taken only 35-45 mins to drive, in my own car, and parking was plentiful on both ends. Sure there are some missing conveniences as far as kosher restaurants or whatever else but it is entirely worth it to me.

mha3484

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:36 am

I have to disagree with OOT Bubby. Just yesterday, I walked from my office in the middle of west rogers park to one our grocery stores (Marianos) last night. I have walked to the Target and the other main kosher grocery store many times. Its is about a mile and a half from the more southern part of the neighborhood. If you are someone who likes to walk and enjoys the exercise plenty of people walk around to shop or go out to eat. There will be places you want to go that involve driving but you can do enough without it that when you do want to go to a store farther out it doesnt feel burdensome.

Chicago has a really nice mix of things you can walk to and things that are only 20-30 minutes away.

OOTBubby

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:38 am

mha3484 wrote:

You are correct, but I don't think that most people consider those distances to be stores local to their residences. Very few people would be walking to them. And those are only accessible like that from West Rogers Park. Much further from Peterson Park & much of Lincolnwood.

amother

Apricot

Tue, Jun 19 2018, 11:41 am

I grew up in an apartment in NYC. I now live OOT. I dislike driving and miss being able to just walk to the store but I don't think NYC living would be so convenient with little kids. I am so incredibly grateful that I don't have any downstair neighbors to complain about my kids noise. I don't have loud neighbors on my head when I am trying to put my kids to sleep. I can send my kids outside to play in our backyard without having to go out with them. I wouldn't send my 8 year old by herself to the playground that was down the block from the apartment I grew up in. Just some things to consider.