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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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 Mon, Jul 16 2018, 3:05 pm
Hi,
My 4 year old son destroys pretty much every toy brought into the house. He doesn’t do it in an angry way, he just can’t seem to stop himself from taking apart everything in sight. He also leaves the caps off markers, pours bubble liquid out of bubble blowers, and cuts holes in clothing.
I have tried taking things away, throwing them out, explaining that it is wasteful, time outs, taking away privileges, and yelling. I don’t know what to do.
I can’t take away everything because the other kids use their toys properly. He breaks into their private cabinets and takes whatever he wants.
It’s not fair to his siblings. All their stuff is ruined.
I don’t want to buy anything for any of them anymore because it all gets destroyed so quickly.
Advice?
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mha3484
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 3:08 pm
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I have a child like this but its a symptom of a much deeper issue. Does your child lack impulse control in other areas or just this one?
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amother
Periwinkle
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 3:56 pm
I don't really have advice, one of my kids destroyed 95% of our children's books singlehandedly. It's REALLY frustrating.
But your son might like being given tools and old appliances or furniture to disassemble. Set him up a workbench and encourage him to ONLY take apart HIS "toys" and only in his "work" area. It may be a curiosity thing.
It is usually easier to redirect than to stop.
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63
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 4:05 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | | I have a child like this but its a symptom of a much deeper issue. Does your child lack impulse control in other areas or just this one? |
Oh yes. Definitely
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mha3484
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 4:09 pm
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For my son who is older now we did not have him diganosed with ADHD until 1st grade but we started working with him and a therapist on strategies to help him manage his impulses when he was 4 turning 5. It helped him a lot. If that is something you can do or want to do I recommend it.
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 4:27 pm
| mha3484 wrote: | | For my son who is older now we did not have him diganosed with ADHD until 1st grade but we started working with him and a therapist on strategies to help him manage his impulses when he was 4 turning 5. It helped him a lot. If that is something you can do or want to do I recommend it. |
Could you expand on this please? what kind of therapist and what kind of strategies? I am really struggling with my impulsive 5 yr old and have been told there is nothing to do until he is older.......
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mha3484
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 4:36 pm
In my community we happen to have an excellent masters level counselor that a lot of families/yeshivos use. He really seems to have a knack for how to interact with boys of all ages and he gets ADHD. I think he is a licensed LMFT.
We did a mix of targeted behavior charts, role playing and his therapist has this version of uno he made up himself that got my son to learn to control some of his behaviors. As time went on, we did some natural supplements that helped for a while then we medicated but not a stimulant so far. He has really made a lot of progress bli ayin hara. If you want to PM me feel free.
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teachkids
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Mon, Jul 16 2018, 4:36 pm
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What about a toy like lego where the point is to build it and take it apart?
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