Yeshiva high school of monsey

amother

Mauve

Tue, Jul 24 2018, 9:37 pm

amother wrote:

What do you want to know? I am familiar with the school.

My son met the rosh yeshiva and now wants to go there. I know its starting its second year and I imagine its small. Is it a more open minded place? Nice boys? Supportive teachers/rebbes?

amother

Cyan

Tue, Jul 24 2018, 10:44 pm

amother wrote:

My son met the rosh yeshiva and now wants to go there. I know its starting its second year and I imagine its small. Is it a more open minded place? Nice boys? Supportive teachers/rebbes?

It's starting its 3rd year, and it is small. It lacks discipline and structure. It is an open minded place. Some boys are really nice and some are delinquents. I take no pleasure saying that. The teachers are nice. The emphasis is on pleasing the parents rather than education. One example is my friend told me how her son was getting solid As all year and barely passed his Regents.

What are you looking for with your son? Are you looking for a good solid education?

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 7:17 am

amother wrote:

My son needs open mindedness and relaxed rules. Many schools in Monsey failed him and he’s bounced around a lot over the years. I’m looking for him to connect with yiddishkeit and graduate high school with a plan for after. Any plan, but a plan. I’m looking to keep him in school and improve his self esteem. Some may call him a delinquent because he doesnt fit a mold.

Where is your info from?

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 7:36 am

Quote:

Some may call him a delinquent because he doesnt fit a mold.

That's so upsetting. Delinquent is such a negative term to use just because someone doesnt fit a mold! Have you considered an out of town yeshiva which may be more open minded than a Monsey yeshiva?

From a mother of a great boy who doesnt fit the mold....

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 7:42 am

amother wrote:

Quote:

Some may call him a delinquent because he doesnt fit a mold.

I agree with you and it hurts my heart. And if people think that our boys dont know what people say about them... the boys know. And it doesnt help their situations.

My son was in an out of town yeshiva. And then he met the rosh yeshiva and now feels that this is a good fit for him. We’ve learned from experince with this son that he cant be forced to stay where he doesnt want to stay.

momX4

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 7:43 am

amother wrote:

I hope that you just quoted the poster and dont actually label your son.

He hasnt found his fit yet. He is willing to go to this yeshiva. Since there are no graduates yet, its hard to see what types of boys they produce. Hopefully you can find IRL moms who sent their kids there. Call the school for a class list.

There is another yeshiva that specializes in boys that have a hard time learning. Have you considered Sharrei Arazim? I heard the boys love it and are encouraged to express their talents.

amother

Aqua

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:13 am

Dear Op,

I want to wish you and your son brocha v hatzlocha!
If your son feels a kesher and is motivated to go there based on your post I would give it a try.
I hope you get the info you need and you sound like a wonderful caring mother.
IYH he will get through this rough period of life and come out stronger than ever.
You too!
hugs and hatzlocha

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:17 am

Quote:

We’ve learned from experince with this son that he cant be forced to stay where he doesnt want to stay.

I definitely agree with that. But he is young and may need your guidance in this important matter. You don't have to send him there if he feels it's right and you don't. Maybe you can offer another suggestion or two. Ask him if he would be willing to consider these 3 yeshivos? Tell him that you're willing to consider his suggestions too and that after some inquiries you can sit down and discuss the pros and cons of all 3 places and make a decision?

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:28 am

momX4 wrote:

Yes, I was quoting the poster, as evidenced in my subsequent post.

I havent heard of Sharrei Arazim. I’ll look into it!

amother

Aqua

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:30 am

Your priorities sound on target.
As a general rule, not knowing your son or this place, in this type of situation you describe I would let the child take the lead on it and if he feels he likes this place and wants to go there I would go for it.
Many teens at this stage most of all need caring and kesher in a kosher place #1 to build self esteem, keep them in a positive yeshiva learning environment, and strengthen self and yiddishkeit.
The rest can come later. Or be supplemented.
If he can build a kesher with a mentor like figure who he likes that sounds key and a huge factor for future success in living a life as a mature adult with strong yiddishkeit.
Obviously the social piece matters; however, unfortunately, a kid who isn't in an environment at all can also find not good influences or social connections R"L.
This sounds like could be your best option you have as of now.
(Based on your description I'm wondering what was your reaction to his positive take on it?
Has this happened before?)

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:31 am

amother wrote:

Quote:

We’ve learned from experince with this son that he cant be forced to stay where he doesnt want to stay.

I agree with you 100% that a boy needs parents guidence which is what we provide. But in the past, like I said, he quite literally has gotten himself thrown out of a school and a camp that he decided he didnt like. Yes, he was/is in therapy.

amother

Aqua

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:33 am

A lot depends upon your relationship with your son. And a lot depends upon his personality. Like how hard is it to get him to look at other places?
How will he feel about that?
How hard is it to get him to have a positive take on a rosh yeshiva/yeshiva?

You don't have to answer, simply these are some of the questions id take into consideration when making the decision.

amother

Mauve

Wed, Jul 25 2018, 8:42 am

amother wrote:

I know all of this. He isnt my oldest!

This thread got sidetracked a bit. I really just wanted info on this one school. But I appreciate the well meaning words.