The Steipler Gaon's Message to Jewish Mothers

Mommyg8

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 8:26 am

amother wrote:

I'm actually kind of turned off by this because it makes very specific claims that we don't see happening. Mothers who say birchas hamozon out loud have children that are more protected against illness and accidents? Seriously? Why do we all mock organizations that promise yeshuos for donations yet this we take seriously?

You have done a study? So you know it's not true? Personally, I've seen many of these things really happen. The Steipler was not some Chaim Yankel in the street. If he said it, you can believe it.

bobeli

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 9:52 am

amother wrote:

Please try to see the huge difference between what the Staipeler said and an organization that wants your donation.

Yes I agree that the responses years ago are beautiful. Such a short time for the change.

amother

Maroon

Fri, Oct 12 2018, 10:25 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

You have done a study? So you know it's not true? Personally, I've seen many of these things really happen. The Steipler was not some Chaim Yankel in the street. If he said it, you can believe it.

[u]

You've seen frum yidden have fewer accidents? You've noticed that frum yidden don't have as many illnesses? If it's something else you've seen then it's not inline with what we are discussing.

amother

Maroon

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 6:29 pm

I find this occasionally within our religion were others are inspired by various statements that seem to be completely out of the realm of reality. I have difficulty with this. For example if a big tzaddik would go over to a poor man and gives him a credit card and tell the man that he can use the card anytime he feels he needs it. The man feels comforted and is happy. A few days later he tries to use the card and it's declined. The man feels uneasy and waits a few days and tries to use the card again, where once again it's declined. Now the man is feeling bad and he contacts the tzaddik who gave him the card and explains to him that the card isn't working. The tzaddik says he'll take care of it and encourages the poor man to continue using the card. After a few days the man uses the card again and it's declined. In the end does the poor man have comfort knowing that he has this credit card in his pocket? Why would he, it doesn't work. I understand very clearly that the ways of hashem are a mystery and us humans have really know nothing. But when I hear a gadol make a black and white statement about a method to protect ones family from accidents and illness, I can't be inspired if I don't see that following the simple advice is actually resulting in what is supposed to happen.

My question is why would anyone be inspired by this? Do they believe this is actually manifesting and those mothers that say birchas hamozon out loud have less illness in their family or is there another reason?

groisamomma

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 6:38 pm

The minute I read it I thought to myself, "What a change from the current atmosphere here. Was this really what imamother once was?"

I guess today's nisyonos (yes, the types of nisyonos mothers are facing changed over 15 years!) made people more cynical.

It's a beautiful thought, though, and it inspired me. Thanks for bumping up the thread.

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 6:49 pm

Different people find different things inspirational. Personally, I find this type of post off-putting. Mother setting a good example for her family and fostering a positive Jewish tone in her home by davening and saying brachot? Fine, I’m with you all the way. The rest...not so much. HaShem is not a vending machine where you put in a bracha and get a reward.

amother

Maroon

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 6:56 pm

cm wrote:

I agree. We constantly hear that hashem isn't a vending machine. The statement taken at face value is a vending machine scenario.

amother

Maroon

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 7:12 pm

ectomorph wrote:

The atmosphere of a home changes things. When I'm calm and centered the kids also are less hyper and impulsive. Which theoretically could mean fewer accidents. It's not a vending machine, it's actually quite reasonable

Aahhh. That's what he meant. And you get this from "mothers saying birchas hamozon out loud will protect their children from traffic accidents and illness". You're being disingenuous if you try to twist these words into you're explanation.

ectomorph

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 7:29 pm

amother wrote:

no, you're being disingenuous by twisting the steipler's chinuch advice into a vending machine

Kiwi13

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 7:29 pm

I can’t speak to the part about fewer traffic accidents and whatnot, but it makes clear sense to me that a child who is raised in a home of genuine Torah observance by a mother who models a true, sincerely relationship with Hashem will have an easier time relating to learning and will have a better chance at success in Torah. It seems to me that it’s not about just saying the words out loud, it’s about the relationship and bringing Hashem into the home in ways the children can also understand and experience.

That’s not to say other kids can’t achieve the same success and it’s not to say that kids raised in sincerely frum homes are guaranteed any specific outcome.

I can see why people might be skeptical about the cause/effect vibe of this post, but at the same time I wonder if these are the Steipler’s exact words or a paraphrasing? Is it possible that the short bullet points presented here lose some of (what I believe is) the implied meaning?

Personally I think it’s beautiful and something I strive for. As another posted said, it’s not meant to be taken as an obsessive checklist of tefillos and brachos to make out loud at the expense of everything else. I think it’s more about modeling the relationship with Hashem and creating an atmosphere of warmth and love of Torah.

amother

Beige

Sat, Oct 13 2018, 7:30 pm

cm wrote:

But still, you would never get a polite but "that's not what inspires me, but if it inspires you, cool!" response today. You'd get a cynical-eye roll- frum bash.

bat1

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 5:16 am

a- bumping
b- this is missing one line from the letter which is :
children who grow up in a home where the mother is mevater to her husband, and doesn't criticize him, have good middos and have purer neshamos than other children.
(with the whole surrendered wife movement, and Marriage secrets Leah Richeeimer, we know what to work on for successful chinuch, on ourselves... as the chofetz chaim said to whoever came to ask when chinuch starts that he is 20+ years late...)
good luck to us all.

amother

Firebrick

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 5:25 am

Wow, this was originally posted a long time ago. I am going to voice that I agree with the posters that said they do not find this inspiring.
How or why did this rabbi decide that these specific things will bring the specific things that he wrote? To me these kinds of things are fear mongering above anything else. Sorry.

bat1

Wed, Jul 19 2023, 5:30 am

since when do you ask a rabbi "how he decided something?"
and did any of these people who mocked it, try it?
even if you don't get the results he says, you will get yourself a calm good spiritual self...
and re davening, he never said it has to be from a siddur..