What are the cons of using a “screen” as a “babysitter”

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amother

Cerise

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:13 am

If you don’t allow or limit screen time, what are your reasons?

keym

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:23 am

Problem solving, play skills, interactive skills, moving around/ exercise. Many of these skills don't get developed during screen time.
There's a passivity associated with screens that I discourage.
I would rather reading, crafts, sports, board games, baking. There's a skill involved.
Its not a frumkeit. I have the same objections to Sesame Street and Barney and Uncle Moishy.
We do have screen time. But we keep it limited to emergencies. Erev pesach, sick kid, etc.

amother

Wine

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:35 am

what keym said- children need to play, read,run around, create, learn hobbies... screen time cuts in to all that. of course the tradeoff is the noise Wink

, screens get kids to be quiet...

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:37 am

Rabbi Kelleman has some material on this in his book To Kindle a Soul. This isn't frum stuff.

healthymom1

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:40 am

They get cranky much easier. They get lazy. Bored easily. They lose skills. They lose their attention span.
The learn so much more being active and looking at books, playing with colors. building and using their hands.

Iymnok

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:48 am

How is it good?

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:56 am

Iymnok wrote:

How is it good?

Short-term sanity saver for parents.

amother

Cerise

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 8:56 am

Iymnok wrote:

How is it good?

For the mom!

keym

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 9:00 am

Iymnok wrote:

How is it good?

It could be very educational. Documentaries as your kid gets older, visiting foreign places that your kids never get to go.

And if we are going to be broad in screen definition, gaming devices could improve hand eye coordination and reflexes.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 9:09 am

During the early developmental years, it is very bad. Even educational stuff. DD quickly became addicted to CBC Kids, which has very nice shows. She also became very demanding about it, and she wasn't even 2 yet!

If we had to take away screen time for some reason, she would howl and cry and scream and kick - not just a tantrum, but like she was truly in physical pain. It was like watching a junkie get off of heroin, and it broke my heart.

DD didn't get any screen time at all until she was around 10, and that was with total supervision. She didn't get her own laptop until she was 13, and I could be sure that she could handle things like bullies and drama.

It's not ideal, but that's what it is right now. If I could do it over, I'd restrict her access a lot more, but I just can't face that fight at the moment, and things are relatively stable around the house. I don't have the koach to rock the boat.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 9:20 am

I've been praised for teaching things that were in fact taught by the screen Wink

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 9:46 am

The cons were listed above, and that's true, but only really when you do too much screen time. In small doses, I see no cons and even a few pros. My kids all enjoy reading books (and read above grade level) and are all able to play imaginitive games, run around outside, and can usually entertain themselves without screens. There have been times where I wasn't on top of it as much as I should have been and it did lead to issues (mainly behavioral) and required a period of detox. Lesson learned. If you're on top of it and imposing good limits, I doubt you'll experience the serious downsides.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 9:57 am

amother wrote:

So, it seems like one of the major downsides, is that you have to constantly monitor how long they are on, and constantly impose limits, because kids WILL test you, every single time. Also, the use of the word "detox" is telling. That implies that some toxicity has built up.

I'm not judging you. My daughter is addicted to her social media and PS4. Just musing out loud. I just wish I knew ahead of time, how incredibly enmeshed she would be with electronics. I'm sure that by secular standards, and according to all polls done by parenting magazines, she's perfectly normal for this day and age.

mommydearest

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 9:59 am

Read this and then read Part 2. Changed my family and children. https://handsonotrehab.com/scr.....sing/

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 10:24 am

FranticFrummie wrote:

Yes, it does mean that I have to monitor (I set a timer when it goes on if they're watching a show or playing a video game, with a movie, I make sure to be around toward the end of it). And there have been times where I decided to go for the tradeoff of being less strict until things calm down, knowing I'll need to to the detox thing. We are not willing to give it up entirely. Dh and I enjoy tv shows and movies and dh is very into video games. We want to share our favorite shows/movies/games with our kids, it's a nice experience. Screens get a bit of an unfair reputation, but there's actually a lot of quality content out there. If you're thoughtful about it, and teach your kids to be thoughtful about it, it can be very positive. But yes, using screens beneficially does require some effort on the part of the parent, because both quality and quantity need to be controlled if it's going to work out well.

amother

Azure

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 12:45 pm

It's bad for the eyes, attention span, causes add and ADHD, bad for development.. honestly if you read up Spitzer for example you'll want to keep your kids away from the screens. And that has nothing to do with religion at all. It's just bad for the kids.

amother

Azure

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 12:54 pm

Zehava

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 12:57 pm

When I had to adjust to life with a newborn I used screentime as a reward to get my kids to clean up and get ready for bed without me yelling. It wasn’t ideal and also kept them from falling asleep.
Now that they come home later in the day there is barely time for them to do homework and eat dinner and still have downtime, so I made the rule of no screentime on a school night. They spend their time doing workbooks instead, I have funny kids.
That said, screentime has taught my gifted child the alphabet at age two, has given them lots of knowledge and taught them the English language.
All is good in moderation. We all do what works for us at any given time.

sky

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 2:29 pm

I’ve heard that teachers can’t compete with the likes of sesame place.
Every 5 minutes everything changes. A whole new excitement. Teachers can’t do that but kids brains are learning to only be able to handle that amount of continuous learning per topic.

Besides my kids are so creative, interact with friends. And spend time outside. We complain about how little free time they have due to long school hours. Why would I want to devote even a second of that to sitting and watching a screen.

amother

Blonde

Wed, Oct 31 2018, 4:18 pm

I want to point out that although screen time is bad for the above reasons, it depends on the circumstances. If the alternative is a mother who is screaming and losing it, that is more scarring. Obviously in the short term it's easy as a babysitter but long term the laziness and being bored and inattentive will take its toll. Kids will get addicted.
However, if mother is highly stressed and snapping at kids, it's better for her to use it.

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