My sweet baby became a terrible two...

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers

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amother

Seafoam

Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:20 pm

... and I’m so not ready for it!! He’s not even two yet!

He throws EVERYTHING! Food, toys, he empties my garbage. He won’t play nicely unless I sit with him, otherwise I’ll find LEGO in the bathtub, under the couch, in the garbage can... today he knocked over the wet diaper garbage can and put in on his head Puke

. He throws food in the garbage then goes and eats out of the garbage. He whines and yells until I give him nosh. I sit for breakfast and he feeds the floor. He literally didn’t eat a proper meal today Sad

He won’t listen to me! I tell him no, he tells me, “no, no, no!” While he wags his chubby little finger at me.

I love him to peices but I’m a bit fed up. Why won’t he eat and play nicely? Why won’t he talk instead of whine when he wants something? (Yes, I know you’ll say it’s the age and stage blah blah.)

(Yes I’m a first time mom and he’s the spoiled only.)

Send HELP please.

Rappel

Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:28 pm

amother wrote:

It sounds like he's playing wonderfully. He's curious, exploring his environment, interacting with the world around him, and communicating with/mimicking his Imma. That's one healthy little cutie you have there, bli ayin hara!

As for the whining: that's an easy training fix. Like this -
He whines.
You: "Oh, sweetie, we ask like this: "Banana, please?"" *Teasing, playful tone*
You: "Banana?"
Him: "Na?"
You: "Please!"
Him: "*Giggle*"

Kiss him and give him the Banana. Always listen for him asking properly, and react to such behavior immediately with lots of praise. No need to put down the bad behaviour that much - if you ignore it, it will disappear. At this age (possibly any age) his greatest reward is your attention.

If you're consistent about how you want him to put in his requests, and you make it a game, he'll be fully on-board in a couple of weeks.

Last edited by Rappel on Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:37 pm; edited 2 times in total

hodeez

Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:29 pm

What do you do for punishment when he misbehaves?

ectomorph

Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:31 pm

Totally normal!!

This this age you need to physically remove him in addition to saying no after a few times he'll take your no more seriously

You can also introduce basic consequences like if he throws it you take it away or whatever he will understand as a consequence

Rachel Shira

Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:36 pm

I know you don’t want to hear this but these are all totally age appropriate behaviors. Frustrating but normal. This is how they learn - from throwing, spilling, dumping, making messes, and boundary testing. Stay firm with your rules but give him space to explore in these ways too, and try to cut back on scolding while lowering your expectations for his behavior.
You can encourage the behaviors in ways you feel comfortable doing - give him a mixing bowl of water and some spoons and a cup and let him splash and pour. Give him balls and a basket and let him throw. Let him paint and play in sand and dirt. Let him help you in the kitchen with pouring ingredients and mixing. It will take longer but it’s worth it.
Of course you also need to teach him how to ask for things calmly with no whining, mealtime manners, etc. But all in good time.
If you want to be able to feel more compassionate toward him and deal more proactively with this stage, I would recommend learning about child development and why they do what they do. It might be very enlightening.
And remember that his behaviors don’t reflect you as a parent! It’s not your job to make him be a perfect angel.

cinnamon

Sat, Jan 12 2019, 11:39 pm

<hugs> my fifth just turned two. He has been in the terrible twos from before he was eighteen months. Its hard and I have four older kids to keep an eye on him and pull him down when he climbes up on the kitchen table!
Doing it alone is just crazy.
Its really hard in the moment to take a step back and think about how smart and cute he is behaving.
He's becoming a person with his own wants and his own likes and dislikes. All you have to do is watch.

Don't stress about his eating. He ate enough to not ve hungry. You have to look at his nutrition over a whole week not just one day and that is most likely good enough.

Oh and this age is the time to practice only saying no when you absalutly have to and then sticking to it no matter what.
I always aim for no more then two or three 'no's a day. Everything else is either a 'sure you can throw those legos all over the floor see how they bounce? thats really funny'
Or just physically taking him away and distracting him.
Its a great parenting skill foe any age.

But truth? At the end of the day all you can really do is wait for him to grow out of it...

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 12:17 am

He'll grow out of it eventually

And then one day turn into.. ..
A teenager!!! Can't Believe It

Signed, a mother of two teens and two tweens Banging head

mango

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 12:18 am

I (almost) could gave written this post my almost 17 month old is truly getting into that stage and it has gotten so much harder! He is number 4 KAH and yes it is a little easier bc I have older ones who can spot him for me at times but often they think his trouble is so funny and cute (which it totally is if only it wasn't so nerve racking at the time) they at times encourage it!
His latest word is na for no and oh boy does he know how to use it... he also has become and expert on crumpling to the floor in a melt down when things don't go his way.
At the same time he does the cutest things which help big time get through the hard ones. Today he was sitting on my lap whole my 3 yr old was crying bc I took away a muktzah toy that plays music that she kept pressing the buttons on. I was at the ignore stage bc she wasn't taking any reasoning or alternatives and I knew she would be over it pretty soon... Anyways he all of a sudden climbed off my lap walked across the room to her and gave her a big hug! Totally stopped her crying distracted her and made her so so happy! I was floored by his compassion! (I of course had offered her the same numerous times but she had rebutted all my efforts but from the baby it was obviously different)
Know it does get easier and if you are consistent in your ways he will hopefully get it and hopefully respond better...

amother

Amber

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 12:26 am

Oh yeah... many more delightful terribles to come...

Experienced mom of 5 kah here Smile

Shuly

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 2:17 am

Totally normal.
If you don't want him to make a mess with something, don't tell him no, just keep it out of his reach or in a locked cabinet.
I had to child lock my kitchen cabinets but I would give my almost 2 year old, a mixing bowl and spoon to play with, he just couldn't empty the whole cabinet.
Pens and markers are kept on a high shelf so he won't color on the walls. Toys with small pieces are on the top shelf in the closet.
He still makes a mess but it's more manageable because he only has access to the things that are easy to clean up.

In terms of nosh, you can give him one thing and then say no more! Show him an empty package and hide everything else. Try to offer him new foods - maybe he is ready for more options and is bored of what he usually eats. My toddler starting loving cucumber and red pepper sticks.

amother

Natural

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 3:22 am

My sweet baby became.... an off the D teen 😢
I wish I was still dealing with the terrible two stage...so much easier

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 6:02 am

hodeez wrote:

What do you do for punishment when he misbehaves?

Punishment? I hope you’re joking.

Beingreal

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 8:06 am

You know what we call it? terrific twos!

L25

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 9:10 am

sounds pretty normal. just want to mention that you don't want your kids to learn that if they nag they get what they want. if you planned to give him nosh give it right away and if you don't don't. if you say no no no and then oh just stop whining here you go you are teaching your child to nag to get what he wants, he is learning about his world now and how cause and effect works.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 9:30 am

hodeez wrote:

What do you do for punishment when he misbehaves?

Punishment? Are you for real? He’s a baby who literally doesn’t know better.

His therapist recommended I give him timeout in his crib for certain behaviors. So far, I did that once for just a few minutes.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 9:38 am

Thanks everyone for responding.

I do keep dangerous things and other things I don’t want him touching away from him.

It’s more about his own toys which he throws all over the house and his food which he only eats nicely running around and leaving a trail of crumbs as he does so.

I sit him down to eat. I give him little at a time. He refuses to eat from me- he must eat himself. Still.. even as he eats he’s throwing. So I take the food away, take him out and he starts eating off the floor TMI

I clean it up, so he has nothing to eat, but a few minutes later he comes back to me hungry.

hodeez

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 9:57 am

amother wrote:

Punishment is a harsh word. I meant what consequences are in place when the child does something he's not supposed to even after being told no repeatedly.

amother

Wine

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 9:59 am

hodeez wrote:

Punishment is a harsh word. I meant what consequences are in place when the child does something he's not supposed to even after being told no repeatedly.

At this age the consequences are for you, not for him. You need to figure out how to better prevent it if it keeps happening.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 11:29 am

amother wrote:

I don't remember which parenting expert or mechanech it was, but my mother went to a lecture where the person said not to use bed as timeout because you don't want to form a negative association

Personally, for a two year old I'd keep nonos out of reach and try to laugh.
My two year old is delicious Kah and we can't get enough of her bh

Iymnok

Sun, Jan 13 2019, 11:34 am

Get a highchair or booster with buckles. He needs to learn to keep food at the table and sit while eating. If he can’t do that himself, then he needs to be strapped down.

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