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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
Pearl
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:14 pm
My kids are old enough to stay home for Shabbos and eat the meals and entertain themselves. I hired a 12th grader to sleep over just in case and to check up on them Shabbos afternoon.
How much should I pay her?
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pesek zman
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:16 pm
Really? A 12th grader babysits overnight? I wouldn’t leave a 12th grader, mine, or anyone else’s overnight! Is this really done?
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rdmom
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:18 pm
My 12th grader is almost 18. Why wouldn’t I leave home with her in charge? I don’t understand the hesitation.
As to paying her. Maybe 100.00 dollars would be ok. I think so
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amother
Copper
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:18 pm
pesek zman wrote: | Really? A 12th grader babysits overnight? I wouldn’t leave a 12th grader, mine, or anyone else’s overnight! Is this really done? |
I babysat overnight for my family waay before 12th grade and for sure by 12th grade for other people. I'm actually surprised you're surprised!
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amother
Pearl
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Thu, Feb 07 2019, 10:22 pm
amother wrote: | I babysat overnight for my family waay before 12th grade and for sure by 12th grade for other people. I'm actually surprised you're surprised! |
So did I. DD is at that borderline age so I hired this girl purely for my own reassurance. However, my dd did say she might want her to eat the Friday night meal with them so I think it's only fair to compensate her accordingly.
Any mothers if 12th graders that babysit want to chime in here?
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amother
Azure
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 12:13 am
pesek zman wrote: | Really? A 12th grader babysits overnight? I wouldn’t leave a 12th grader, mine, or anyone else’s overnight! Is this really done? |
Do u have a 12th grader?
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amother
Pearl
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 1:04 am
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octopus
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 6:12 am
You are probably aware of this, but just stating for the benefit of those that do not know, there are halachic issues to hiring someone to do a service for you on shabbos. Technically they cannot be paid for work on shabbos. So they need to do a service for you before or after shabbos and you can over pay for it but the payment is not really for the shabbos.
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amother
Maroon
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 6:21 am
rdmom wrote: | My 12th grader is almost 18. Why wouldn’t I leave home with her in charge? I don’t understand the hesitation.
As to paying her. Maybe 100.00 dollars would be ok. I think so |
People’s hesitation stems from not all DCs being as mature as yours. I have a 19 and 17-year old who are not mature enough for this.
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amother
Pearl
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 7:26 am
I know the halacha and I suspect she refused payment for that reason. I'm technically paying her for the service of babysitting my kids until I get home on motzei shabbos...but I want it to reflect my gratitude properly.
Ladies, can we please stick to the topic? Any mothers of 12th graders here?
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amother
Chartreuse
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 8:34 am
Mother of a 12th grade girl here. She's never been asked to do that kind of babysitting, and I have to say I wouldn't want her to have that kind of responsibility. But maybe that's just me, and the culture where we live.
My big concern is whether she (or the younger kids) know how to deal in case of emergency, when they are unable to reach the parents. Is another adult on call?
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amother
Orange
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 8:51 am
I have a 12th grade daughter who is 18 and I think it's fine
when she was almost 17 she watched her 2 younger siblings for 2 weeks
(we have family around the corner in case of emergency)
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amother
Tan
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 9:07 am
I have a 12th grader. I would definitely trust her with this.
I second that $100 would be fine. If the 12th grader is a friend of the family and she is naturally going to enjoy being and sleeping there, as if it's a treat for her, than $50 would be good enough.
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Chayalle
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 9:18 am
BTW my girls opted to stay home themselves recently when DH and I were invited as a couple to a family Simcha. They ate out the meals but slept at home. I don't see what the big deal is....I remember staying home for Shabbos with my siblings when my parents were away as a teen. You sound very responsible.
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Chayalle
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 9:20 am
I asked my 20 year old DD and she thought about $100.
ETA: She said her thinking is based on that the going rate for babysitting is about $10 hourly for 12th graders. So if you increase the time she will spend with your girls, that's something to think about.
Last edited by Chayalle on Fri, Feb 08 2019, 9:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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Raisin
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Fri, Feb 08 2019, 9:31 am
amother wrote: | Mother of a 12th grade girl here. She's never been asked to do that kind of babysitting, and I have to say I wouldn't want her to have that kind of responsibility. But maybe that's just me, and the culture where we live.
My big concern is whether she (or the younger kids) know how to deal in case of emergency, when they are unable to reach the parents. Is another adult on call? |
Maybe not in your community but in many communities 18 year olds are already dating, some are married and some are mothers.
And 18 year old can get married without parents permission, drive, vote, go to university on her own. This doesn't sound beyond the reach of an 18 year old...plus OP's own child is already a teen so you have 2 people there in case of ch'v emergency.
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amother
Ginger
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Sun, Feb 10 2019, 9:44 pm
$100 sounds reasonable. If she needs to be involved in bedtime, or preparing/ cleaning meal, I’d say $120 -$150.
Last edited by amother on Wed, Mar 13 2019, 3:22 pm; edited 1 time in total
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dankbar
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Sun, Feb 10 2019, 9:48 pm
At this age, girls are getting married already
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amother
Wine
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Sun, Feb 10 2019, 10:36 pm
I moved in to a family and lead the seudos for them... but I was newly married and did it with my husband. We got $300. (We were both 20 years old, and the family had 6 kids ranging in age from 15 to a baby that woke up at night for a bottle)
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amother
Lime
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Sun, Feb 10 2019, 11:10 pm
Honestly whatever number you and the girl agreed on is ok.
My DD is in 12th grade. She recently volunteered for a shabbaton for an organization she regularly volunteers at. I think they paid her minimum wage for her official waking hours. My DD signed up not thinking she will be paid.
When you arranged this girl to babysit, was there a conversation about payment? I always encouraged my dd to accept the job regardless of the amount, but she must know how much before she agrees.
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