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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Giving Gifts
amother
OP
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Wed, May 22 2019, 11:53 am
Im hosting a couple whos in the process of becoming frum for 3 days of shavous. 2 of my neighbors heard that I was hosting and offered to have us and our company for a meal. I cant describe how grateful I feel. I know it can be a bit out of peoples confort zones especially people with bigger kids who may have to explain before hand that these people are new to yiddishkiet. I would love to bring something really beautiful with me to the meal or send something before shavous. Thinking for each host approx the $40 price range. Any ideas? Was thinking maybe individual desserts or a cheese cake but dont want to offend anyone if they baked homemade. I can send flowers but I always think that can be overkill because of how many flowers people get from their husbands etc ... TIA
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dankbar
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Wed, May 22 2019, 12:22 pm
Cheesecake or flowers is standard even if they have already.
You can also try something different then. Say Belgian dairy chocolates.
A houseplants instead of flowers.
Any other dairy delicacy like a cheese log.
Maybe a dairy drink in a nice pitcher
A nice salad in a nice bowl.
A nice vase for flowers.
A blintz pie. A chocolate truffle log.
You can order nice dairy miniatures.
You can get nice napkin rings
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dankbar
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Wed, May 22 2019, 12:24 pm
If you order miniatures they shouldn't get offended even if they did some of their own.
It won't be the exact same one. It's a nice gesture
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tichellady
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Wed, May 22 2019, 12:54 pm
I would ask the hosts “ I would love to bring cheesecake for dessert, would that be appreciated or is there something else that would be helpful?” I would not bring food without asking. Otherwise bring wine or liquor.
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imasoftov
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Wed, May 22 2019, 1:00 pm
I wouldn't bring food to hosts without asking. It sometimes annoys me when I get food I don't need as a gift, I wouldn't embarass a guest, but if someone calls in advance and asks what they can bring I can suggest something that would enhance the meal rather than duplicate something we've alredy bought or made (typically I'll ask for a salad, dips, drinks, or challot if we're not making our own for that meal, but I don't assume someone else would do the same). A bottle of wine is different, if you don't use it this week it can be stored, but bring me an extra dessert, cheesecake or otherwise, you're just using up space in our fridge because if we put two desserts on the table, people are going to ask for smaller portions of both. On the other hand if I knew in advance you were bringing one I might appreciate making one less.
I'm not saying don't bring a gift, I'm saying ask them. You've got two and a half weeks.
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amother
Blush
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Wed, May 22 2019, 1:02 pm
I box of fine chocolates
Wine
Milchig or pareve dessert
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BatyaEsther
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Wed, May 22 2019, 1:38 pm
You can ask what you can bring to make it a little easier on the hostess. See if you can bring a salad/fruit/dessert. I always ask first as if I am going to bring something it should be helpful, not a duplicate. Confirm if it is a dairy meal -don't make assumption, most but not all are.
To up it a notch, you can go to home goods and for $12.99 or $16.99 get a lovely plater/bowel to bring it in (and of course tovel it first).
Remember, these lovely people invited you to help lighten your load as you do the wonderful mitzva of kiruv. They are likely and genuinely not looking for you to be put out.
Tizku li'mitzvot that you are hosting not yet frum people for a 3 day Yom Tov. I am sure their wonderful experience in your home will be another reinforcement of the beauty of Torah Judaism. May HBK bless you and your family, that you should always be able to be on the giving end.
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amother
OP
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Wed, May 22 2019, 1:45 pm
My problem with asking 1st is that one of these women is wealthy with very very full time help ( last yt she hired a live in from an agency on top of her alreadg full time women) I know what her meals look like because ive been by her. Either shell tell me "nothing" or shell say something small just to appease me but it wont actually be lightening her work load of hosting. If I just show up with something or send something before yt than its an extra and a nice surprise regardless of what it is ...
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hello 1
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Wed, May 22 2019, 1:51 pm
Orchid plants are beautiful.
Florist’s can do 2 of them in a planter.
Probably around your price range. For sure 1 is
They last a few months.
You can place it anywhere (even if they have flowers) and it will look beautiful.
So nice you’re hosting - and nice neighbors!
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kenz
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Wed, May 22 2019, 3:21 pm
A beautiful cheesecake is not cheap and takes care of dessert. I would just call and say, “We’re so excited about coming to you for a meal. Can I bring a cheesecake for dessert?” That way if she’d prefer something else she can tell you.
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amother
Turquoise
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Wed, May 22 2019, 3:28 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | My problem with asking 1st is that one of these women is wealthy with very very full time help ( last yt she hired a live in from an agency on top of her alreadg full time women) I know what her meals look like because ive been by her. Either shell tell me "nothing" or shell say something small just to appease me but it wont actually be lightening her work load of hosting. If I just show up with something or send something before yt than its an extra and a nice surprise regardless of what it is ... |
I would just order/ drop off milchig chocolates from a nice store in such a case.
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singleagain
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Wed, May 22 2019, 3:40 pm
You can also consider chocolate/dairy liquor
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amother
Seashell
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Wed, May 22 2019, 3:42 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | Im hosting a couple whos in the process of becoming frum for 3 days of shavous. 2 of my neighbors heard that I was hosting and offered to have us and our company for a meal. I cant describe how grateful I feel. I know it can be a bit out of peoples confort zones especially people with bigger kids who may have to explain before hand that these people are new to yiddishkiet. I would love to bring something really beautiful with me to the meal or send something before shavous. Thinking for each host approx the $40 price range. Any ideas? Was thinking maybe individual desserts or a cheese cake but dont want to offend anyone if they baked homemade. I can send flowers but I always think that can be overkill because of how many flowers people get from their husbands etc ... TIA |
A pretty diffuser with a flower on top
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