Lakewood-Trying to get my daughter into the right school

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Mon, May 27 2019, 4:47 am

We live in Lakewood and my daughter is going into primary. We both come from chassidish backgrounds but we are raising our family more openminded. Guess ppl would call us heimish. She's in a new school that is way too chassidish for us. The culture of the homes the children come from is not on par with who we are and what we believe. We have tried applying to bnos bracha, but they would not even give us an interview! We don't have any pull there. Another problem we have is that my husband wears chassidish levush because he has to, due to family etc. And he also believes there's more to a person than exteriors so he does it out of respect for his family and it will cause lots of family issues if he were to change so that's not an option right now. I just feel that we are being judged based on where we come from and what my husband wears on shabbos and noone is looking at what and who we actually are now. we are not bums just because we chose a lifestyle different than our families (my family is more chassidish than his) my daughter s class is too immature for her, and the girls say things that aren't allowed which is not what we believe and I feel that I can't leave her there because it will create toomany problems conflicts and confusion for her and for us! Problem is everyone is telling us that the schools we want to send to will not accept us because we're 'chassidish' based on what he wears shabbos or they will see him at the interview and they'd be like' you don't belong here' ! why can't we be given a chance!?! What can we do to get my daughter into a school that's right for us?

amother

Mon, May 27 2019, 4:51 am

We're thinking of applying to nachlas, bnos Esther malka, bais rivka Rochel next year.
Anyone have pull in these schools who'd like to help me?

amother

Pearl

Mon, May 27 2019, 6:32 am

The school scene in Lakewood is extremely intense and competitive as it is, schools are squeezed to take siblings and ppl who are exactly their ‘type’ and not looking to take in ppl that are somewhat out of the box...
Isn’t there a school that’s heimish/ open minded chassidish?
Sorry.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, May 27 2019, 6:48 am

Well usually when a couple is not following there parents way in life in the eyes of the schools it’s going a step down and they look at it as rebels.

This is where monsey had a problem with all these type of people and now everyone has a problem gettin into a school.

amother

Mon, May 27 2019, 7:43 am

Op , well my parents way is hypocritical- why would I lead the same life?? A lot of the schools that might be our type are the same hypocritical- it's not what we believe. I'm not putting my kids through it.

amother

Ecru

Mon, May 27 2019, 7:55 am

Primary for this fall... it’s probably not personal but because they’re full

I would try Moreshes, which does have some Heimish people and may be able to squeeze you in.

amother

Mistyrose

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:06 am

Move out of Lakewood. This is an issue which you’ll always have to deal with and will never go away.

sweetdimples

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:23 am

I hear bnos penina has a nice heimish yet not too chassidish crowd. The people I know that send there are absolutely thrilled and only have good things to say on the school.

amother

Taupe

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:45 am

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

Move out of Lakewood. This is an issue which you’ll always have to deal with and will never go away.

That’s not super helpful to OP. I’m litvish but in similar situation . I am dying to move out of lakewood but right now cannot financially due to husbands job.

People can’t always just pick up and move away to avoid stuff

Mommyg8

Mon, May 27 2019, 8:49 am

At this point I think you have to call the Vaad. A lot of the schools mentioned are good - Bnos Esther Malka is not Chassidish/Heimish but that doesn't seem to be an issue for you. Bais Rivkah Rochel is, I think, more yeshivish if that's the direction you're looking to go. Give the Vaad your family information and what you are looking for and hopefully they will be able to help you.

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:00 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

Fyi Bais rivka Rochel is probably THE most difficult school to get into....

amother

Royalblue

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:01 am

amother [ Taupe ] wrote:

Did u try moreshes? My daughter is there now and BH I'm thrilled.

Mommyg8

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:05 am

amother [ Royalblue ] wrote:

Fyi Bais rivka Rochel is probably THE most difficult school to get into....

Not anymore. But it's probably not a good fit though.

Chayalle

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:08 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We're thinking of applying to nachlas, bnos Esther malka, bais rivka Rochel next year.
Anyone have pull in these schools who'd like to help me?

As others have said, these schools are flooded with applicants who are a good fit for the school. Unless you had first-degree pull, I don't think someone else will be able to help much.

I'll be honest here and say, I have relatives for example in Bnos Esther Malka....and I can't imagine a chassidish child doing well there socially. It really doesn't make sense. Nor Bnos Bracha or Nachlas. BRR might not be so far-fetched, but they are really, really hard to get into.

OP, you would do better to apply to Chassidish schools that are more open-minded. What about Tiferes Chaya? Also, isn't there a school that opened to service the overflow from Bais Rivka Rochel? That might be a good shot....Bais Rochel is also Chassidish, but not extremely so. These are schools you might want to look into.

amother

Plum

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:18 am

What about bais tova?
Hard to get in but heimish and has quite a few chassidish families!

amother

Turquoise

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:20 am

There are other schools that are more heimish and not chassidish like bais tova, bnos hadassa (it was kesser bais yaakov), and bnos penina

amother

Plum

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:20 am

Btw my girls are in bnos bracha, there are no chassidish families there, and probably not even heimish ones! It's mostly balebatish or yeshivish.

Mommyg8

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:28 am

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

What about bais tova?
Hard to get in but heimish and has quite a few chassidish families!

There is no possibility of getting into Bais Tova AFAIK.

naturalmom5

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:28 am

You sound like a lovely family
I would definitely eat by you on Shabbos
But Lakewood really isn't for you
Either fit into your box or you will have years of heartache and stress if you stay in Lakewood

Mommyg8

Mon, May 27 2019, 9:33 am

OP, just putting this out - would the difference in havarah bother you? Because of course the schools you mentioned have the litvish havarah. If it would, maybe you would be better off in a Chassidish school? Chassidish Lakewood is not the same as Chassidish Boro Park or Williamsburg...

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