Why do I get frustrated when toddler wont eat?

Angel

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:22 am

subjet line sais it all. My 18 mnth hardly takes in any food during the day.
I get so frustrated and upset.
What can I do to grow his apetite to diff variety of food?

crust

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:38 am

What does he eat?

I'm asking because for me it was an adjustment that (some of) my kids need a fraction of the portion size I expected them to eat.

1/4 Of a peanut butter bread was a meal.
A slice American cheese was a meal.

I'm bh at the other side of the bridge and they are bh healthy adults.

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 4:44 am

I found sitting down to eat with her helped (Meaning, eating at the same time. Not me reading a book to her while she ate) Family meals are even better. I don’t offer different menus (I Make one dinner for everyone. If the adults eat chili, so does the kid) I always provide an entree (protein) a carb (usually whole grain) and a vegetable and I don’t require her to eat all. Minimum of 1, ideally 2. And I incentivize trying new foods (tacos, curries, etc) by offering a reward (tiny piece of chocolate for dessert) if she’s tries it. I’ve been doing all these things since she started eating proper food and it’s definitely helped broaden her palette. I don’t mandate that she eat: if she chooses to Be hungry that’s her problem. She knows there’s always breakfast. Usually she eats, something.

amother

Babypink

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:03 am

My almost 3yo doesn't eat!!!! I tried everything. He gets starving in middle of the day and kvetches and cried and begs me for a bottle. But he just wont eat. He just tantrummed this morning because he wanted a chocolate chip. I tried bribing him by saying if he eats ____, then he can have the chocolate chips. Full blown shrieking and hitting and crying.
And every single person who sees him says the SAME THING: "well, he doesnt LOOK malnourished" They think they're being so cute and funny. OMG I'm gonna punch the next person who tells me that.

pesek zman

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:11 am

amother [ Babypink ] wrote:

Do you give him the bottle when he demands it?

amother

Papaya

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:20 am

I have the exact same thing he has a round face so everyones comment is always well he looks like he eats well ...
My doctor said as long as every few days he eats a meal it's ok and that some kids do this they graze and nosh and it's fine...

jfk92

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 5:32 am

What foods does your child eat, when he does eat? My son is bh a good eater, but particular. He seems to prefer a harder/crunchier texture, over something soft and his taste leans more towards savory/tart, which isn't exactly expected at a younge age. You may have to think out of the box- my son's favorite fruit is guava lol Perhaps you can find a pattern/something in common with foods he likes and try giving similar flavors/textures. Also agree that you should try to set meal time with him. Oh and maybe he'll enjoy things if he can play with his food. There are cute plates and kiddie utensils or some cookie cutters could be fun/interactive. Hatzlacha raba!!
P.s. I know EXACTLY how you feel about those comments from others about not looking malnourished. Sorry you have to deal with that.

Wife1

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 7:47 am

What I find works don't make it into a fight. I offer 2 options and put it on the table the option is eat it or not.

I don't stress if they skip a meal.

I don't give my kids junk between meals and if you gave your kid a snack very likely he may not be hungry

ectomorph

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 10:36 am

Do basic blood work to rule out anemia, which can cause poor appetite.

You also want to make regular meals and make them fun. She should get attention. You pretend to be a monster feeding her or whatever she is into.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 10:42 am

You get frustrated because you're a good mother, and in your head a good mother has kids who eat 😉
The thing is, it's normal for toddlers to have inconsistent feeding patterns. My goal is to keep offering healthful foods. I think it's a big mistake to get them into the habit of eating junk "because it's better than nothing." It's actually often not better than nothing, and it's a really, really unhealthy habit that's very hard to break. So I offer several healthy options and let them make choices among those options. If the child is overall healthy and growing, it's working for him.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 10:50 am

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Some people have kids who will literally starve themselves rather than eat food they dislike. Don't judge other mothers.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 10:55 am

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Some people have kids who will literally starve themselves rather than eat food they dislike. Don't judge other mothers.

I'm not judging. It's important to give kids food that they like, and picky eating is not the mother's fault. At the same time, ketchup potato chips is not a normal breakfast option and gushers is not a normal lunch option.

amother

Orchid

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 11:00 am

Toddlers who refuse to eat don't necessarily prefer junk food. It's unusual, but some will only eat spinach, and the mother has to say "No more spinach until you finish your dinner!" in order to get them to eat anything else.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 12:01 pm

Absolutely no bottles or snacks between meals. If he's hungry, really hungry, he'll eat. If he chooses not to eat his meal, let him know he missed his opportunity to eat. He will get the message incredibly quickly. You should never beg or force a child to eat. Hatzlacha!

amother

Olive

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 12:14 pm

Even if it's stressful for you, act like you don't care whether he eats or not.

It's not good for kids to see you so emotionally invested in their food intake. When they feel like there's no battle, or emotion involved, they eat much more readily. But you can't just try it for one meal, or one day, and say "it didn't work!" He needs time to get used to the idea that this is the new normal. Within a week or two, you should see a big change.

amother

Rose

Mon, Jul 22 2019, 1:52 pm

I never made food a battle. I offered a sandwich or whatever, and however much they ate was fine. Some days they ate more, some days less. As long as there's food available for them, don't stress about it.
I didn't give any bottles though beyond infant formula. If a kid is drinking a lot they may feel full and still be cranky out of hunger. But if that's not the issue, just trust that the child will eat when hungry and know that you are doing your job by making food available. Unless the child is losing weight or a doctor is concerned, there's no reason to stress. It's just gets really tough when it becomes a power struggle. (And it's not enough to pretend not to worry. Just keep offering food and truly let it go.)