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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Jul 24 2019, 5:47 pm
I am a single mum who has a teenager and a younger child.
every week I need to make sure that at least one meal we have guests or are eating out.
It has become such a huge task because I cant just have anyone when the older one is around or go to anywhere which is not interesting for him.
It is such a pressure and unfortunately not something I look forward to weekly anymore.
Any ideas?
I will go wherever my kids want to go bec it is important to me that they enjoy it. when the older one is not around I can invite other single mums etc then its not so difficult.
and here we go. It is wednesday again, what am I going to do this week???
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amother
Yellow
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 5:54 pm
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Could you find other single moms in a similar situation and take turns hosting?
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 6:10 pm
yup I hear you
the things we do for our children
at least this is only temporary though yes can be quite a challenge
hugs and hatzlocha
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amother
OP
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 6:26 pm
| amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | | Could you find other single moms in a similar situation and take turns hosting? |
I try when it works technically but it can be pretty complicated with teenagers...
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mom!
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 6:39 pm
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Hugs OP! What a challenging situation!
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amother
Mint
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 6:46 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | | I try when it works technically but it can be pretty complicated with teenagers... |
Why?
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tichellady
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 6:49 pm
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Sounds hard! Does your child have friends he/she can invite for lunch? Does your child like board games- maybe you could play a long board game on weeks when you don’t have company. Good luck!
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octopus
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 6:52 pm
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Why is there so much pressure to eat out or have guests for one meal? Is the pressure from your teen?
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chestnut
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 7:32 pm
Sorry for asking, but why do you need to go out or have guests - cause your teen doesn't want to eat with just you and his younger sibling?
Is it a challenge to find families to join for meals or your teen is picky about them?
Do you have family nearby?
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TranquilityAndPeace
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 7:44 pm
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Would you post your location and potentially get invited from Imamothers?
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amother
Forestgreen
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 7:48 pm
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Does it have to be someone invited for meal or could it be just to arrange a play date for after or company for dessert?
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Jul 24 2019, 7:48 pm
it can be a loooong shabbos with nothing to break it up
yet it can be hard to find the right match for everyone given the family dynamics you describe
often I just had the kids invite their friends
and then friends of mine walked over for visits
not necessarily for meals
or the kids had friends and then I invited mine too
if the kids have their friends stay over then it was less of an issue if I had my friend who say only had little girls or little kids etc
we made it into a fun kid centered home
sometimes its easier to make it into kid friendly and then they were busy and I would read or relax on my own and do more of my adult socializing not on shabbos or at shul
I also realized that not every shabbos had to meet my expectations, I had to adjust my expectations and clarify my goals and priorities. And I reminded myself to be grateful for the good.
often I did just invite who the kids wanted, it is very important to me that the kids associate our home and shabbos and YT and yiddishkeit with fun and joy.
hatzlocha
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yc
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Thu, Jul 25 2019, 3:39 am
Can the teen go out for meals to his friends by himself? Maybe on alternating weeks?
I have a (rebellious-religiously) teen who will eat with the family if it suits him, but if he has any friends to go to he prefers that. There is no unpleasantness between us at the meals, but he finds it more interesting to be with his friends.
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amother
OP
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Thu, Jul 25 2019, 6:50 am
| yc wrote: | Can the teen go out for meals to his friends by himself? Maybe on alternating weeks?
I have a (rebellious-religiously) teen who will eat with the family if it suits him, but if he has any friends to go to he prefers that. There is no unpleasantness between us at the meals, but he finds it more interesting to be with his friends. |
One teen will go out to friends sometimes another one who is back from oot hasnt really got friends and never gets invited out..... b"h he always turns turns up 4 meals when he sornds shabbos with me which I know im very very lucky to have
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