Tip for a child who nags repeatedly

MahPitom

Tue, Nov 20 2007, 10:44 pm

I read this in 1-2-3 magic and it works. When a kid just won’t stop nagging ‘but I want to go play outside” again and again, no matter how many times you explain yourself….

Say, “I will let you ask me 3 more times”

KID: But I want to go out to play!

YOU: That’s 1

KID: Everybody is outside and I finished my homework and all the kids are outside Even if they didn’t do their homework yet

YOU: That’s 2

KID: Etc.

It usually never goes past that!

mimivan

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 3:06 am

I'll try that...

I think it helps also to remember, it is not as if they didn't understand the explanation. They are exploring their world and want to see what Mommy will do if they keep asking.

Perhaps they feel that their feelings haven't been validated. Perhaps it is good to get eye level and say "I know you want your red car. Mommy doesn't have time to look for it right now. Maybe we could look for it after gan"

Sometimes he keeps on...I tell myself...it's okay, he just wants to express his disappointment. He doesn't have the words to express his feelings, so it comes in the form of a request to Ima.

However, if I have been impatient with him in the recent past, I find he does it to see how I react. This is a different issue and it is essential (but hard, especially if it is combined with whining) to stay calm.

I tell him that after a few requests (maybe 3 as mah pitom suggested) that I can't discuss it with him further...

gryp

Wed, Nov 21 2007, 1:33 pm

That works for a lot of things. I learned that from Rosemond. You set an amount of times the behavior is allowed to continue and then it's up.

Last week my 4 year old picked up "shucks" from school. Not that I mind "shucks" that much but hearing it for days every three seconds got on my nerves. It was Shabbos morning and he was home and I told him simply: you're allowed to say "shucks" three more times and then you need to say _________ (I chose another word for him.) The habit dropped within the hour. Smile

MahPitom

Thu, Nov 22 2007, 2:45 pm

GR wrote:

Thank you that is very beautiful. I hope I can come up with some more soon.