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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Simcha Section
Rubber Ducky
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 6:41 pm
It's ridiculous. I do the shul Bulletin for an Agudah shul and always mention the kallah's name (and her mother's name too unless I can't figure it out). I do remember once receiving an announcement for the Bulletin leaving out the kallah's name but tracked it down.
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Simple1
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 6:52 pm
Not a sin according to The Yated and the Voice of Lakewood. I just checked and they put the women's names.
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honeymoon
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 7:27 pm
solo wrote: | It’s a slippery slope. One day we’re publishing the names of women the next there will be pictures of female faces. It’s important to keep the hearts and minds of our Beni torah pure... v’lo sassuru achrei levavchem |
Who knew that the words hakallah Chana Cohen can bring one to sin? What's interesting is that after all these years of writing the kallah's name on the invitation nobody yet thought of adding a sweet headshot of the girl beneath her name, as your statement implies would be the next step.
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amother
Slateblue
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 8:06 pm
It used to irk me to no end.
Recently though, my friends and family making a bar mitzvah, or a Kiddush have started writing "Chaim and Chani Weiss" instead of "Mr and Mrs Chaim Weiss" or "Chaim Weiss ורעיתו" . I was glad to see that.
I told my husband, I don't care how they write it in the papers, but when I'm personally sending out invites it's gonna have both our names on it. (we're Chassidish)
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Debbie
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 8:14 pm
When our daughter got married, both mine and my husband's first names were on the invitation as were the first names of both our mechutonim.
To the best of my knowledge nobody who received an invitation went into a spiritual decline from seeing women's names!
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amother
Mistyrose
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 8:21 pm
solo wrote: | It’s a slippery slope. One day we’re publishing the names of women the next there will be pictures of female faces. It’s important to keep the hearts and minds of our Beni torah pure... v’lo sassuru achrei levavchem |
It's slippery the other way too. Once we're not mentioning women or including their faces, men may forget that women exist as people. Once men forget that women are people, they will treat women as though we were objects with no feelings, no consciousness, and no say in anything.
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honeymoon
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 8:35 pm
amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote: | It's slippery the other way too. Once we're not mentioning women or including their faces, men may forget that women exist as people. Once men forget that women are people, they will treat women as though we were objects with no feelings, no consciousness, and no say in anything. |
Unfortunately, it's been happening for a while in some circles already..
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little neshamala
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 9:02 pm
solo wrote: | It’s not a sin to mention her name. But mention of her name can lead one to sin |
Absolute nonsense. If that was the case, the Torah would never have mentioned any woman's name. It would have only been written "aishes avraham, aishes yitzchak, etc"
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Aylat
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 10:10 pm
solo wrote: | It’s a slippery slope. One day we’re publishing the names of women the next there will be pictures of female faces. It’s important to keep the hearts and minds of our Beni torah pure... v’lo sassuru achrei levavchem |
Sarcasm alert?
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imorethanamother
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 10:10 pm
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote: | Then the Torah must not be very modest. |
Actually, the Torah rarely mentions women’s names. It will go through generations of throwaway names that are all male, but never female.
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asmileaday
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Sat, Nov 30 2019, 10:20 pm
amother [ Slateblue ] wrote: | It used to irk me to no end.
Recently though, my friends and family making a bar mitzvah, or a Kiddush have started writing "Chaim and Chani Weiss" instead of "Mr and Mrs Chaim Weiss" or "Chaim Weiss ורעיתו" . I was glad to see that.
I told my husband, I don't care how they write it in the papers, but when I'm personally sending out invites it's gonna have both our names on it. (we're Chassidish) |
Yup we did the same. On our son's BM invitation we signed it with both our first names.
The grandparents we left as Chaim Weiss ורעיתו out of respect for them and the way they prefer things done.
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 2:24 am
ectomorph wrote: | No, it's just the traditional way to do it - to show how modest you are. | No, it is not the traditional way to do it.
In the chumash women's names are mentioned all of the time.
Its actually terrible. Ive seen pictures of engagement notices, with a father in law and future son in law and if people dont know that, they will think it is a gay couple. And I can be sure that THAT is not what the publication is leaving out the women's names for.
Its pure shtuyot (stupidity). And over chumarizing things.
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shabbatiscoming
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 2:28 am
solo wrote: | It’s a slippery slope. One day we’re publishing the names of women the next there will be pictures of female faces. It’s important to keep the hearts and minds of our Beni torah pure... v’lo sassuru achrei levavchem | Do you not realize how far you are taking something? A NAME, a name, a name!!!!!! If a name leads a male to impure thoughts, then that guy has problems.
Solo, the torah has female names in it all over. Are we to become more machmir than the torah?
This view on judaism is so far removed from the judaism that I know and practice.
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banana123
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 6:26 am
imorethanamother wrote: | Actually, the Torah rarely mentions women’s names. It will go through generations of throwaway names that are all male, but never female. |
Torah only mentions the names of people who it deems important.
Women who are important are mentioned. Men who are important to the story are mentioned. All others are not.
People who are important but the Torah doesn't want to use their real names, are mentioned with pseudonyms. For instance Ploni Almoni in Megillat Rut. I'm sooo sure that was his real name, aren't you?
Yes there are more men than women in Tanach, probably because in those days more men than women were important.
Look. Adam and Chava were naked. The Torah tells us so. But we still know her name and that Hashem braided her hair. Now, if that's not going to turn someone on, I don't see how the mere mention of a name - sans "she was naked" is going to do it.
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moonstone
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 6:29 am
solo wrote: | It’s not a sin to mention her name. But mention of her name can lead one to sin |
Omg, are you serious?? 🙄 Posts like these are why I don't visit this site so often anymore.
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Ruchel
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 7:27 am
hodeez wrote: | Convert to Sephardi, problem solved |
You cant change your minhag on a tantrum
You also find this in sefardi
I actually remember my grandmother ah saying a girl should just write her initial
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amother
Jade
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 9:20 am
Aylat wrote: | Sarcasm alert? |
I know, right? I couldn’t believe everyone getting carried away with that. Must have been the intention... At least you and I got it
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amother
Tangerine
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 9:54 am
Honestly, I think the person posting the simcha doesn't always know the kallahs name. That's all. It's not a frumkeit thing.
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amother
Cyan
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Sun, Dec 01 2019, 10:04 am
amother [ Tangerine ] wrote: | Honestly, I think the person posting the simcha doesn't always know the kallahs name. That's all. It's not a frumkeit thing. |
Then find it out. Basic good manners.
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