Weekday afternoon wedding (so that it's on rosh khodesh)?

merpk

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 4:15 am

So b'H we're planning our first wedding and our son (the khosson) wants a specific band. The hall is available rosh khodesh Adar, the band is not. They are, however, available on February 26, the day of rosh khodesh Adar, so that that evening will not be rosh khodesh anymore.

DH is all hyper about the wedding not being on r'kh Adar now, or maybe if it starts (bedekin, etc.) while still rosh khodesh, the khuppah isn't on rosh khodesh anymore.

And also that nobody will show up if it's in the afternoon because shkiya is so early, so who's going to take off work to get there. (Never mind that it's kind of in the north and all of our people are coming from Jerusalem and because.... ohnevermind.... )

So. Would you go to a wedding in the afternoon on a weekday?

I think that's the question.

chanchy123

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 4:51 am

Mazal tov.
What time is shkiah? keep in mind the chupa will be at least half an hour after listed on invitation.
if the wedding is in the north and at let's say five o'clock, yest, I'd imagine many people would only show up after the chuppa. Also make sure to provide a bus from Jerusalem, you will have at least some guests that prefer the convenience of a bus.
it makes sense to leave work a bit early for a wedding, but not really early in the middle of the day.
Why is rosh chodesh such a big deal? To whom is it so important, your son or husband?
A lot of people are makpid to have the chuppah before shkia even in February. You just can't expect a crowd a the chuppa.
If the reason is just because rosh chodesh Adar is happy and special I would think that a wedding that starts motzei rosh chodesh would be just as special and happy. But maybe there is some kabalistic reason?
Another point to consider - assuming we are talking about five-ish in the afternoon, I would expect terrible traffic, especially to the Shraon/north-ish area, people are coming back from work.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 5:04 am

chanchy123 wrote:

I know people who are makpid to have chuppah before shkiah. They do not expect ANYONE to come to chuppah. Its just family.

Its a very different style of wedding in the winter.
They have a chuppah (very small- just family or very very close friends) and then have a few hour break and come back for meal and dancing.

You would have to really want to be makpid on that.

Honestly, no I dont think many people will come to an afternoon wedding (unless its sunday in the u.s)

chanchy123

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 5:52 am

amother [ Brunette ] wrote:

In Israel a lot of people are makpid to have a chuppa before shkia when possible (not in the winter obviouslt). There is a difference between chuppa at 5 pm, 6 pm, and 6:30 pm.
People will leave work half an hour earlier for a wedding of a good friend or family member, there is a difference between leaving half an hour early or two hours early.
I know people who set the chuppah whenever it's good for them without expecting anyone to make special any effort to be there on time. If people show up great, if not that's also ok.

I think OP's son and soon to be DIL should prioritize what they care about most, a RC wedding, this specific band, or having many guests at the chuppah, because obviously they can't have it all.

amother

Slategray

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 7:06 am

In the uk, almost all litvish chasunas are in the afternoon. and in the winter when it gets dark so early , they'll be scheduled for more like 3. It tends to a small ceremony, where people come after for the reception. Then there's a big break until the evening dinner.

essie14

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 7:09 am

The kallah should really be making this decision. Does she want a small chuppah at 4:30 in the afternoon, before shkiya, and then a break or small reception, and then the dinner and dancing later when everyone can show up after work?
Or does she just want a regular wedding at 6:30 or 7 or whenever.