How to keep my ADHD son occupied without screens

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 10:54 pm

I'm looking for some ideas/advice/suggestions on how to keep my 8.5 year old son occupied after school. He has ADHD.
My husband doesn't like him to "waste" his time on the computer or any screens. He loves watching Jewish videos or creating something on the computer but my husband doesn't like it.
How do I keep him busy? On shabbos he tears my house apart. He takes my things apart and tries to make other things out of them. He's pretty creative but he usually ends up breaking something.
Any ideas?

amother

Saddlebrown

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 10:55 pm

Fidget spinner

amother

Aqua

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 11:02 pm

He should learn how to play an instrument. Or sign him up for a sports related lib.

Hashem_Yaazor

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 11:03 pm

Get a trampoline, even an indoor one -- or a moon bounce or something! -- to let him get out all that energy.
Can he focus on the projects he is doing (breaking things in the process) as he figures out how they work and he tinkers with them? For non-Shabbos days, something like Snap Circuits or asking neighbors for their broken electronics would be great (I have a son who took apart our broken printer because he is inclined that way to see how it works...)

amother

Gold

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 11:08 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

As a mom with ADHD with children with ADHD, I have a few suggestions, but please keep in mind that kids with ADHD know what interests them. Try to get him to guide you. My dd can get quite distructive if engaging in pretend play. She's very imaginative and needs to use unconventional items for playing school or house etc. But she can hyper focus like no one else if she's interested. She can read books straight through a 3 day yom tov. Even if your child is not a big reader, but is interested in a specific topic, or more likely with ADHD, another topic each month, get him some books on those topics he is currently interested in.
Puzzles are great too. Not just jigsaw. Also brain teaser puzzles. Rubic's cubes. And, of course, building toys. Lego, cliks, magnatiles. Maybe even model airplanes. Also, always remember, that while ADHD can be challenging at times and one has to work with it, there are so many benefits too. Tap into it.

amother

Saddlebrown

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 11:19 pm

Drums

yiddishmom

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 11:53 pm

amother [ Saddlebrown ] wrote:

Drums

I second drums.

My brother used to be hyperactive. My parents got him a drumset and he stared taking weekly courses. He comes home and runsssss for his drums. The banging is very annoying, and we siblings hated it, bus honestly, it was the smartest idea. And now he knows how to play it so well.

cozyblanket

Mon, Dec 16 2019, 11:56 pm

Scooter/bike/trampoline/basketball etc

He likes making things- clicks, involved lego sets, more mature model airplanes/cars

Does he like crafts? Stock up!

Another vote for learning an instrument.

Which responses speak to you, OP?

chasdie Hashem

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 12:44 am

I have hanging on my door a interchangeable swing/latter/push up bar...best investment

amother

Mustard

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 6:00 am

chasdie Hashem wrote:

I have hanging on my door a interchangeable swing/latter/push up bar...best investment

Have one right in my kitchen/dining room and it’s awesome!!!! We eat the Seudah and he flies over our heads instead of dancing in our chicken soup!

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 7:35 am

Amazing savings has inexpensive crafts for Chanukah and year round

amother

Azure

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:05 am

I got my son a leapfrog. It’s has wducational games. He’s 5 and he’s learning the abcs and math... he lives it. I don’t let him use it for hours on end. It’s instead of watching dvds, don’t feel like he’s wasting time.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:13 am

Age 8.5? Lego. We have a literal tub of lego. Play on a spread blanket to make clean up easier.
I second the suggestion of finding your son's interests.

We also had a tub of plastic animals.
A tub of matchbox cars
A tub with a wooden train set.

We had an arts n crafts table in our dining room too.

ectomorph

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:23 am

There is an old observation in the special needs community that people think that kids become ADHD from watching too much videos.

the reality is that many kids with severe autism or ADHD characteristics become extremely difficult to handle and that videos are a tremendous gift to keep their parents sane.

I see with my own kids that my less difficult child who has equal access to videos ... Lif I take it away it's not a huge deal he'll just go play Lego or do something else.... the child who struggles is always either running around hitting other kids and if I turn off a video throws huge Tantrums... which is not to say that I allow endless screen time but just to give you a bit of healthy perspective that when you have a child with ADHD sometimes you have to do what is necessary to keep your family happy and going it's not really fair to the other children during if the family is not functioning because one child takes up the entire energy of the family

amother

Gold

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:32 am

ectomorph wrote:

I agree with you, but therefore take an opposite approach. Since I know how hard it is to limit screen time for a child with ADHD, we avoid it almost completely. I know once I start, especially since I myself have ADHD, that's all they will do, and I won't be able to limit it at all. But I totally don't judge and there are times I am really tempted to sit them in front of the screen. But for myself, I know I won't be able to control it at all. Getting them to do anything, homework or even bedtime will become close to impossible. And kids with ADHD are so curious and have tons of interests that they can tap into.

ectomorph

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 8:39 am

amother [ Gold ] wrote:

and if that works for you - great!!
We didn't have screen time for months at a time, and I found that it was worth it to allow screen time to keep myself from going crazy from certain behaviors.

I just wanted to give another perspective but she shouldn't feel terrible if she finds that she just can't manage without it...

One thing I do is that I naturally makes a screen disappear at certain points of the day so for example when they come home from school until bedtime there are no screens... but I have a particular child to will be up for 10 hours of the night. and the only way to deal with that is to give them a video or else they are running around wild all night and no one gets any sleep. and it's just not fair to the rest of the family to have a tired mommy and tired siblings. You give the same child a video and they're able to sit quietly and everyone is happy.

My point is that every situation is different and I can imagine several situations where the right thing to do is to take advantage of the videos.

MitzadSheini

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 12:40 pm

I personally don't see how playing with a fidget spinner is a better use of time than watching a Jewish video. They're both either terrible or fantastic, depending on what other behaviour they are replacing in the short AND long term.

amother

Navy

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 2:55 pm

chasdie Hashem wrote:

I have hanging on my door a interchangeable swing/latter/push up bar...best investment

Can you provide a link? Thanks!

amother

Smokey

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 3:02 pm

You can also make a calming jar ( https://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/f.....05300)

Take an empty Voss water bottle
Add clear glue 20% to water 80% (does not work with white glue)
Add one teaspoon glitter and also add other sequins or glitter shapes
mix well or shake well
Close bottle with duct tape

You can also take three types of beans and mix them together and have child separate them

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