Mikvah is so hard for me, but I did it!

amother

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 8:13 am

I'm so proud of myself! I've been having a hard time going to mikvah on time. I've been pushing it off because it's so hard to get out of the house and go (I have challenging teens and things are really hopping in my house from the time they come home until around 11:30). DH has ED so the motivation just isn't there since I know intimacy isn't going to be successful. Anyway, last night my kids were really needy and dh wasn't home (he was out with one of our kids at a therapy session for the kid), so I decided I would push off mikvah a night. But I pulled myself together and decided that even though it was hard, I was going to try to do it. So I drove to the mik and rang the bell...no answer. Stood there for 10 minutes in the snow trying to get in (bell, phone...) and finally found out they had closed already. The other mik is a 15 min. drive and I didn't have enough gas in my car to get there, and they were closing in 20 min. I talked to Hashem and told Him that the Satan really doesn't want me to reunite with my husband, there must be something incredible that our coming together is going to accomplish. I asked Hashem to help me get through the obstacles. So I ran to put a little gas in my tank and I drove to the other mik. The whole way there I was doubting myself because it's so rude to show up right before they close and ask the mikvah lady to have to stay late for me, it's obnoxious. I just kept telling Hashem I'm going to go there and see how I feel, but inside I was feeling like no way, I can't, it's too rude. Well when I got there the parking lot was full and there were 3 other ladies waiting for a room, and it was no problem at all to be there late. Because of the community event a lot of people were running late. So BH I was able to toivel on time and I want to thank Hashem for helping me do the right thing, and nowhere in real life can I talk about this, but here I just wanted to share that I'm so proud of myself! This is a hard area for me and I was misgaber over my yetzer hara!!!

Would love to hear from other people if you've accomplished something you're proud of in ruchnius recently!

amother

White

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 8:23 am

Good for you!

You did it!

Roar like a lion! You are strong!

amother

Lavender

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 8:27 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Good for you!!!

amother

Olive

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 8:29 am

I can so relate!!!
I too have needy teens who make going very challenging and a husband with ED so once I even go it just makes Mikvah night frustrating and disappointing.
I am so proud of you for persevering even with challenges at every turn.
Kol Hakavod.
May Hashem answer all your tifillot l'tova!

tweety1

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 8:32 am

Amazing!! You really deserve a medal. You have what to proud of. Hashem is proud of you too. Way to go Director

cozyblanket

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 8:59 am

You should go mi chayil lichayil!!

ra_mom

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 9:00 am

That's great! I hope you reap the benefits! Cheers

amother

Dodgerblue

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 9:01 am

I also went last night. After I dipped I saw makeup, called the rav, dipped again.
We must be soul sisters. Hashem was looking out for us

thunderstorm

Wed, Dec 18 2019, 9:45 am

Kol hakavod to all of you. Hashem will reward you for your efforts, and perseverance even though this is so tough for you. Hashem knows how you feel and how hard this is and you have made Him proud. Thanks for the inspiration.

Last edited by thunderstorm on Wed, Dec 18 2019, 10:11 am; edited 1 time in total