Can someone help me understand the psak

amother

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 9:23 pm

It is possible that a wedding is all about the gashmius and it won't last, but this isn't a wedding steeped in gashmius--trust me. I don't even think she cares about the WHERE, but I do think she cares if it's with 10 people vs. 100 (the immediate families and important relatives and few friends would probably be 100). It's also a problem that if they get married and have no where to stay b/c she doesn't have a job--and will likely not be able to get one during the lockdown. The weddings that were toward the beginning of this, I could understand--not knowing how long this would take, but I think I hear talk about light at the end of the tunnel. I guess I'm "bothered" that it doesn't seem like they were directly consulted about what they WANT vs. what they SHOULD do.

amother

Amber

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 9:28 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

And she has expressed that to you? or you feel that way?

amother

Wine

Mon, Apr 13 2020, 10:34 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

I never heard of a wedding the week after pesach.
Aren't you supposed to wait till lag b'omer? By that time, social distancing rules may have eased.

I got married rosh chodesh iyar

amother

Mustard

Tue, Apr 14 2020, 12:09 am

I feel you are projecting. You feel bad you will miss the wedding of the century. ..

Personally I’d much rather get married to my DH who I desperately wanted to marry then than worry about nails...
Some of the backyard weddings have been truly spectacular. While it’s not what anyone dreamed of I’m hoping these smaller weddings will Be a newer reality. They are just so much more natural and real looking

dilego

Tue, Apr 14 2020, 2:14 am

Sorry for the way this gonna come over.my son got married after purim the week the rules where changed to 10 ppl.they both arent 20 but more and dreamt for years.they bh got married had 2 sheva broche with10 men and 4 women as of the towns ravs psak.ie only close family.the chissen got the virus.the kalle is still waiting for the mikve after the chassene as the chosswn still tests positive as of erev shabbes chol hamoed.and the results at our kuppa take ages over3 days
to come back.they are near her parents and we are 1 hr drive away.its not easy or fun the wedding was beautiful bh they love one another but go crazy in a one bedriom yecida
So their more derecg a godol hador paskend that my son should go to a malonit and israelis here know its hard to get check ups there in order to get our again
Have a nice jontef.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Apr 16 2020, 11:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Of course I understand all of that, but a wedding may be temporary, but its also hopefully a "once in a lifetime event" you never get it back. Even in lo aleinu a 2nd wedding, its still never the same as your first wedding. I can understand in a situation of the war where you never knew if there WOULD be a tomorrow. In this case, in another few weeks thing should be starting up again, we can't stay like this for much longer. Life will have to resume. At least wait until after Lag b'omer and then recalculate. I mean right now she can't even plan a backyard wedding because of yom tov. What happens if someone gets sick in the next week?

I have not read past this reply, but really, you think in another few weeks everything is going to go back to normal? OP, I can assure you that big weddings are going to be a LOOONG time coming.
I would assume, from the few weddings that have happened over the past three weeks in my yishuv, the couple just wanted to be married already. They didnt want to wait for the "after the lockdown" in case it ends up being a very long time.
I think many would choose a minyan wedding over no wedding in the foreseeable future.

amother

Mon, Apr 20 2020, 1:02 am

So in the end, due to a number of insurmountable circumstances, they pushed off the wedding. I don't think she wants even a BIG wedding, but I do think she wants the important people in her life there.

amother

Aquamarine

Mon, Apr 20 2020, 1:10 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Of course I understand all of that, but a wedding may be temporary, but its also hopefully a "once in a lifetime event" you never get it back.

So it seems youd have chosen to wait to have the wedding of your dreams.

Does that mean that this Kallah preferred to wait to have the wedding of her dreams, or would she rather have a simple backyard wedding now (if not for the details that made them push it off)?