Electronic games | Imamother

shalhevet

Sun, Dec 30 2007, 10:50 am

I mentioned this on another thread, so now I'll open the floor to your comments. We don't allow our children electronic games (for sure not computer games) because we believe that it gets a person used to instant gratification with little input. Unlike games that benefit a child either mentally, fine motor skills, gross motor skills, developing imagination etc, electronic/ computer games just pass the time and generously give out much more exciting sounds and lights than gemorras do.

What do you think?

red sea

Sun, Dec 30 2007, 11:20 am

I dont love electronic games for the reasons you mentioned and also because once addicted it gets to where its used like couch potatoes and gets very violent. But I never seen any get badly addicted to the educational games. I see n/t wrong with games drilling the multiplication tables or the abc or the alef bet (I used to love carmen san diego ! and do not think I was harmed). While I may not purchase them if a better non electronic choice is available, I am not against them. If the child wants it and feels like a deprived child, I see nothing wrong with providing a suitable choice. I dont see this as a thing to take too strong of a stance against, I've seen too many very yeshivish children playing the most violent games only behind the parents back. Hopefully by teaching children to judge between games that ok and games that are not suitable for our morals they will capable of doing so when they are out of your supervision too. As the couch potato thing goes, its terrible. They sit all day in school and after homework have hardly free time at all so I 'd rather that children let some energy out and move around. And if they are going to strain their eyes I rather it be over a good book.

Last edited by red sea on Sun, Dec 30 2007, 11:23 am; edited 2 times in total

Mrs. XYZ

Sun, Dec 30 2007, 1:17 pm

As suomynona said, in moderation I think its fine. I like when they have a balance, a variation between different types of activities, like board games, crafts, sports, electronics, etc.... When my kids get such a game, I warn them that if they abuse it, or spend too much time on it, then I take it away. Many of them are educational, and even those that aren't, if its only once a week, is 'nisht geferlich". And I'm not talking talking about the real violent ones, those are out!

rosehill

Sun, Dec 30 2007, 1:47 pm

I had such an interesting experience with this. As an OT and a parent, I can rattle off all the negatives about these games, and have very little positive to say. In fact, as a rule of thumb, I avoid any toys for my therapy bag that require batteries.

But, G-d, with His sense of humor, gave me a son who is addicted to Gameboy (he bought it with his own money, I might add). My guy hates to play outside, and has yet to find a sport he enjoys or is good at.

One year, he was having problems at school, forgetting his homework, and performing poorly in his tests. I told the rebbe (who was very Chassidish), that if this continued, I would take his Gameboy away. The rebbe asked me not to do that, to find another way to discipline him. The Gameboy, the rebbe explained, kept my son "meurav" with the other boys. When he was playing, the other boys watched him, and were impressed with him, and made him feel important.

I had never looked at it this way, and was very interested that the rebbe did. I think, like the other posters mentioned, the key is moderation. I let him play, but I try to encourage him to go for a ride on his bike too. And he's not allowed to play in bed, he's to use his lamplight time for reading only.

Ribbie Danzinger

Sun, Dec 30 2007, 4:42 pm

There are electronic games like "Simon Says" which develop memory skills and puzzle-type games where you have to fit different shaped pieces into the spaces etc.
As for computer games, I make sure to check them all myself before allowing my children to try their hands at them. A lot of computer games are also intellectually stimulating and some can even be educational. They also can aid in development of fine motor skills in using the keyboard/mouse and games that rely on quick reactions can also be beneficial to children who generally react slowly.
So, if you pick the games carefully and use them wisely, they may be beneficial to the child.
Not everything is either "right" or "wrong;" it all depends on the circumstances.

shalhevet

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 12:44 am

Ribbie Danzinger wrote:

I feel that the whole concept of electronic/ computer games teaches a child to expect instant gratification. I don't think there's anything to be gained from an electronic game that can't be gained more profitably from something else. Plus a child doesn't learn the social skills of fair play and cooperation and losing gracefully. I recently read an article (in the teachers' magazine) that in Japan there is a whole phenomenon of teenagers who stay for months and years in their bedrooms, alone. They communicate with their friends through computers and cell phones and play computer games, surf the net etc. What do you think their social skills are going to be like?

If a child plays a memory game with a sibling/friend he is also learning social skills. A child playing with Lego is practising his fine motor skills, but also putting effort into something. And so on...

Also a child who is used to flashing lights and tunes when he gets a correct answer is not going to find the gemorra very exciting...

Actually this:

Quote:

As for computer games, I make sure to check them all myself before allowing my children to try their hands at them.

seemed a pretty good reason for allowing them. LOL

Sounds like fun!

suomynona

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 1:37 am

I think you're exaggerating. This won't happen from playing electronic games for a short time every day or not even every day.

As far as the instant gratification thing, that's so cliche. I don't think it's more of a problem in electronic games than anything else in today's technologically advanced world. You can say the same about using a computer stam, or a touch tone phone, or a microwave etc.
These things sound scary in theory but I don't know if they play out in real life. My bro. is a talmid chochom, masmid, the works and he played a lot of computer games in his day and not even the educational ones. Everyone needs downtime. I've heard it said that a problem in e"y today is that there aren't enough acceptable outlets for kids.

SingALong

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 7:05 pm

I agree with many above that moderation is the key. how moderate? once a day? once a week? probbaly depends on what's good 4 your kid. 1 mom I met told me she only lets her kids play computer games on sundays when there is no school. maybe other kids though need to unwind after along day.
one thing to take note of. I just finished a 3 month fieldwork session with psychiatric teenagers. one of my biggest pet peeves were how much these kids lived for electronics such as phones and ipods, videogames...etc. the kids who spent the most time with these electronics were the most dysfunctional, expecially in social areas. they were the ones with no friends and acted silly or out of place.
while it may be important for kids to spell, add, think logically and all the other skills that these computer games claim they teach, a person with no social skills is lost, no matter their type, job, whatever. spending 2 much time with a screen instead of a person decreases a child's chances to relate to the world around them.
just my opinion from what I recently observed with problematic kids. with my daughter, I am postphoning getting games for as long as I can and I plan to limit it very strictly if I ever do bring it into the house.

creativemommyto3

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 10:05 pm

suomynona wrote:

I totally agree with this. I used to love playing games like playing Tetris etc. I wouldn't let the child spend the whole day playing it but I don't see the harm in doing it for maybe 30 min to an hour each day when they come home. It might give you a bit of a break too. Not that it's a reason to make a mind go to mush but they do use their brains for games like this. Sometimes kids need to play by themselves. My brother in laws who are big learners both played these type of games when they are younger. I would just be VERY picky about the games they play. You could tell your parents that you appreciate the games but that you only want the ones that are a certain type. Like no violence, pritzus etc. I tell my parents things that I don't want. Like I told my parents that they should try to bring things with a container or not so many little pieces. So you can ask for specifics in the games they buy.

mimivan

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 10:39 pm

shalhevet wrote:

shalhevet.
I think your standard is the ideal, and I hope I can be as strong when my kids reach an age when these things interest them.

I avoided electronic baby games for this reason...so they won't start to gravitate towards them, and I use the computer in front of them only when it is absolutely essential, just because I don't want them to think it is the focus of our lives...I prefer even to keep the laptop out of their view when they are not watching Torah or educational videos (usually just on Erev Shabbos and one day a week as a prize)

Having said that, my son learned to read early b'h partly through a great aleph beis video...but this is in a different category, I think.

But I know the day will come when I may have to deal with this issue...I hope I can be strict..but I just don't know...I'm trying to take it one day at a time.