Real Birth Order | Imamother

mumoo

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 1:03 am

What To Wear

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth:

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

The Layette:

1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries:

1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby.
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

The Pacifier:

1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it.
2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle.
3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

Diapering:

1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not.
2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.
3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

Activities:

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.
2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.
3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out:

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times.
2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.
3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home:

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.
2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby
3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

Swallowing Coins:

1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays.
2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass.
3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance!

maidale

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 6:06 am

So true, so true..... LOL

miriamnechama

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 6:33 am

NotInNJMommy

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 8:26 am

I was that way month by month with #1....you should see me with #2! kah

greenfire

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 8:34 am

my favorite is the coin deduction from the allowance Nervous

sagging diapers my least favorite Puke

and with the pacis I always heard this one (and having 4 I know it to be true)

if it falls
1. you throw it out
2. you boil it
3. you wipe it on your shirt
4. you plug it right back in

peach

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 6:16 pm

Really funny....... Very Happy

thanks!

boruchhashem

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 6:19 pm

thanks for a good one LOL

mammala120

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 8:04 pm

I was laughing as I was reading along so much that my DH started to ask me "what, what" Rolling Laughter

technic

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 8:05 pm

love it - ty 4 sharing!!! LOL

Tovah

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 8:15 pm

husband and I enjoyed
must say some are true

ny21

Mon, Dec 31 2007, 9:09 pm

thnaks for posting ! very funny and true

Ribbie Danzinger

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 5:43 am

Thanks for the laugh!

Don't ask what happens when you have eight children....

mom23

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 3:46 pm

Thanks for the laugh! Rolling Laughter

grin

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 3:57 pm

that was great! yeshar koach - keep them coming!

Mrs. XYZ

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 4:03 pm

very cute

regarding maternity clothes, I was totally the opposite. By my first, I was so embarrassed to put it on, that I kept pushing off and pushing off. Ended up putting on in middle of seventh month!

(I think this was posted in the humor-jokes thread)

mumoo

Wed, Jan 02 2008, 1:46 am

Mrs. XYZ wrote:

(I think this was posted in the humor-jokes thread)

I think most parenting issues could go in the humor-jokes forum

zigi

Sun, Jan 06 2008, 12:34 am

thanks for posting this! its soo true!